Good bye, my love.

Two months ago, Dixie seemed to be feeling under the weather. She wasn't eating well, and seemed to have less energy. I took her to my vet and she was diagnosed with anaplasmosis. (a tick borne illness) She tested a "faint positive" right at the end of the testing window. The vet prescribed antibiotics and said that Dixie should feel better in a few days.

A few days later, she wasn't doing any better. I brought her back to the vet and they did an X-ray to "rule out" anything more significant. The vet saw a shadow on her X-ray and sent it to the University of Minnesota vet hospital to have it read by a radiologist. The report from the radiologist said that there wasn't anything unusual, but that more imaging may be needed.

I took Dixie to see an internal medicine vet at the U of M. He did blood and urine tests, and everything came back in perfect form. He said that with the symptoms, we should do more imaging to rule out a tumor. I agreed to have them do a CT scan on Dixie. After scheduling that, Dixie seemed to perk up. Her appetite increased a little, and she had more energy. I contemplated canceling the imaging, but decided to do it "just in case."

I was told that I could drop Dixie off at the U in the morning. I declined. I said that I would bring her and stay with her until the imaging was done. She and I waited patiently that morning, arriving at 8am but not having the actual imaging appointment until 10:30am.  The student vet came to get Dixie when it was her time. She commented what a great dog Dixie was.

I sat and waited. I wasn't really worried because I believed that they wouldn't find anything. The vet came to the cubicle I was sitting in looking very uncomfortable. He told me that Dixie had a mass on her liver. He went on to say that the cancer was "everywhere." In shock I asked what that meant. He said the she had weeks to live. I broke down and cried. They brought Dixie to me, and she was groggy from the anesthesia for the CT scan. I put her on the chair I was sitting in and held her. The vet came back some time later and said that he was able to get Dixie an appointment with the oncology department the next week. In the meantime, he prescribed an anti-inflammatory med, and a med to increase her appetite.

I took her home and passed on the information to my family and close friends. I cried for a long time.

The next week Dixie saw the oncologist at the U.  We were taken back to a room by a student vet. She asked about Dixie's job. She, too, had diabetes. She said that she had never heard of a dog being able to alert for blood sugars. She asked for the name of the organization where I got Dixie.  The oncologist came in and reviewed her imaging and lab work. Dixie had gained back a little weight. She offered several options. The most reasonable, in her opinion, was to try an oral chemotherapy med. She thought that if Dixie responded to it, she would have months instead of weeks. The mass on her liver was 9cm by 9cm. She had mets to her lungs, lymph nodes, and spleen.  The most common side effect of the chemo was fatigue. We decided to try it.

Dixie took the chemo med for about 1 week. It made her so sick and miserable that I decided that months of living that way wasn't worth it. We stopped the med.

For the next two weeks, Dixie continued coming to school with me. We did some 1/2 days when it seemed that she was uncomfortable. I tried everything to increase her food intake. I asked people at school to bring their dog's favorite treats to share with Dixie. She just couldn't eat. She continued to get thinner and thinner. We spent a lot of time snuggling. I took a lot of pictures. I asked her how I'd ever be able to do this without her.

On May 23rd, 2014 at 1:35pm in the veterinary's office, Dixie took her last breath in my arms. I held her, kissed her, and thanked her for all her hard work. I reminded her how many people loved her.  I set her free to fly with the angels.

Thank you, Dixie, for being my service dog. And bless you, Dixie, for being my friend.

I will always love you.

Paleo

 I’m caving to peer pressure.

Scott and Sara have ((ahem)) encouraged me to blog more.  :-) Thanks guys!

It’s been a crazy few weeks. I have 12 school days left. The last day of school is June 8th. This is always a wacky time of year for me. I’m busy with paperwork, meetings, and planning. I can see the “finish line.”

I have been working really hard on my diet the last few months. I read Allison’s post at the ‘Mine and it was the last push that I needed to jump into the Paleo lifestyle. (eat like a caveman-- so a diet that includes meat, eggs, vegetables, some fruit, nuts, etc. It doesn’t include any grains, rice, legumes, dairy, sugar, or pop) I knew that eating grain wasn’t working for me, and was trying to figure out a low carb diet that I could enjoy. I’ve tried it in the past, but have always felt sluggish and hungry when doing it.

At my last endo appointment, my doc told me that the injectable steroid that I have been using since my insulin allergy was diagnosed, is seriously “backordered” and I probably won’t be able to get my hands on it for a year or more. She prescribed oral steroids, which makes me nervous. I haven’t made the switch yet, as I still have a couple months worth of the injectable stuff. My reality is that the more carbs I eat, the more insulin I need, and the more steroids I need.  I really wanted to figure out how to decrease the amount of insulin I was taking each day.

It’s been six weeks without grain. I am using about 1/2 of the insulin that I was taking before switching to a paleo diet. My 30 day average (according to good old Cozmo) is that I am averaging 35 grams of carb per day. I think that qualifies as officially low carb. I’ve lost weight. It's amazing how much easier it is to manage my blood sugar when I'm not eating much carb.

Is it hard? Yeah, sometimes.

Do I miss grains and sugar? Yeah, sometimes.

I was "jonesing" for some toast last week. I figured out a paleo recipe for “pancakes” and that was enough to distract me out of wanting toast.  The good news is that I like meat and some vegetables. I’m working on trying/enjoying more vegetables.

I’m cooking more, which I actually do enjoy. It’s just a little challenging to psych myself up to cook when I come home from school. I’m starting to figure out recipes that are “quick.”

Am I 100% paleo? Some days. The last vice that I’m working on is diet pop. It’s definitely NOT part of a paleo diet. But I’m doing this my way, and I’m working on eliminating. I’m no longer drinking diet dew, which was a MAJOR feat. I have a soda stream machine and am drinking carbonated water with sugar free kool aid in it. It’s not caffeinated, so I’m off that. I'm trying hard. Every day.



Dixie is excited for school to be out so she can spend more time in the yard. She continues to be my absolutely, amazing CGM.

Happy Wednesday!

AND... the winner is.....

Dmeanderings! You are the winner! Please email me your mailing information, and your Deluxe Clutch will be on it's way.

Thanks to all who entered. And a big thanks to Rickina, at Stick Me Designs, who not only gave me a clutch, but gave me one to share with my blog readers.  If you didn't win, head over to Stick Me Designs and order one.

I just finished a long afternoon of diabetes related medical appointments. My eyes are dilated, and my arm has been successfully poked for labs. My A1c stayed the same as the last one - 5.9. I'm happy about that. The eye doctor said that my eyes look great. No change there, either.

The challenge of the afternoon was deciding to switch my medication that I take for my insulin allergy. The med that I have been using in my pump is no longer available. There isn't a good alternative that can be injected.... so... I am switching to oral steroids. I'm nervous. My allergy has been well controlled the last several years, with only a few breakthrough hive incidents. I can still remember the respiratory arrest I had the last time I took insulin without steroids mixed in it. Scary. 

CONGRATULATIONS, D-meanderings! I hope you love your clutch as much as I love mine. :-)

Stick Me Giveaway!

A few weeks ago, Stick Me Designs was hosting a “Keep/Try and Giveaway” on Facebook.  When I saw, I immediately entered.

I have a “thing” for Stick Me bags. My mom found them, and bought me the pink clutch. It was perfect for me. It held my freestyle meter, multiclix, and test strips. I put a pack of Carb boom in the side pocket for lows. That bag has been all over the place with me.  Early on, I realized that it was perfect for Dixie to carry. She grabs it by the strap and brings it to me.

Once I figured out that it was a match for Dixie, I decided that I should have all my testers in one.

The next one I got (from my mom for Christmas) was a dinosaur patterned one. That was a great addition. It helped Dixie to have consistent bags to grab.

Last Christmas, my mom gave me another. This one is the silky cocoa bag. It’s my “go out on the town” choice. It’s not as casual as the other two.

This Christmas, I didn’t get a new bag. I have to admit, I was a little disappointed. So...when I saw the new Deluxe Clutch patterns and then discovered the giveaway, I was psyched. Of course, I never really gave much thought to winning.

When I got Rickina’s message that I had won, I was jazzed! I picked out the Scroll Chic design. This bag is perfect for traveling. It holds everything. I have it loaded with Cleo infusion sets, Multiclix lancets, tubing, foil wrapped ketostixs, Carb Boom packets. It is ready to go, at a moment’s notice, on my next getaway. Usually, before every trip, I grab zip lock bags and put the supplies that I’ll need in them.  I never really unpack the bags, so I end up having a mismatch of supplies in my travel bags.

Now it’s your lucky day! I’m giving away a Deluxe Clutch in the Lotus Lily Pattern. (just like the one that Sara won!) These are really well made, well-designed bags. Mine have been through years of use, and are no worse for the wear. (even after being carried in Dixie’s mouth :-)

So... just leave a comment on this post before midnight on March 26th, 2012, and you will be entered to win.

Thanks, Rickina, for sharing your talent with others.

Tractor Tires and Spiders

Last week, I met up with Scott, for a good old fashioned d-meetup. Dixie didn't come. She was  battling a sore back, and spending a couple hours on a concrete floor didn't seem therapeutic. Unhappy about it, she stayed home.

I left my house and was cruising down the highway. Suddenly, a giant tractor tire flew off the back of a truck and was hurtling towards my car. I swerved into the next lane (THANK GOODNESS there wasn’t a car in that lane at the time) and swerved back. The tire missed my car by about a foot. It went sailing down the side of the road and cars behind me dodged it as well. 

What was the first thought I had after I survived the trauma? Not, “Holy Sugar. I’m lucky that tire didn’t hit my car and kill me.” It was “Oh great. Now I’m going to be high from the adrenaline surge.”

Really. Who thinks that way?! I was nearly smashed by a flying tractor tire, and the only thought that came to mind was about my impending high blood sugar.

I shared the story with Scott, and he told me a similar one about testing his basal rates overnight, walking into the bathroom and seeing a spider, freaking out about said spider, and then knowing his basal testing was a wash because of the adrenaline rush.

Dam diabetes. It infiltrates everything. Every. Little. Thing.

We laughed. Because what else can you do?  The two of us, sitting in a restaurant, laughing because we both understood.

There was a lot of talking and a lot of laughing. Scott and I discussed the possibility of improved diabetes management if we had an I-phone with Siri. I told Scott, imagine being able to just say, “I’m eating 2 cups of white rice. How many carbs is that?”  I actually tried this with a friend’s phone. Only it was Thanksgiving, so I asked how many carbs in a cup of stuffing. The phone pulled up a whole list of carb possibilities. With that as a d-strategy, maybe Scott would be able to ditch the clipboard. :-)

Are you using Siri as part of your d-management plan? If so, please share!

Happy Holidays!

Molly and Dixie

Wordless Wednesday

Dear Dixie,

My Dearest Dixie,

Do you still remember when we met? I was nervous. I had never spent much time around big dogs before you. I had dreams of what I hoped you would do for me, but scared that it was too much to dream for. I think that you were just as nervous about meeting me as I was about meeting you.

Even though I had waited about a year to finally meet you, the couple weeks before I finally went to North Dakota that August seemed to whiz by. I started to have real doubts about what I was doing. What on earth was I thinking? How would I be able to manage having a dog with me every day at work? How would my friends react to me being connected to a big, furry companion all that time? What if I was expecting the impossible? What if this didn’t work?

I needed it to work. So I packed up three weeks of stuff and went to North Dakota.

You were little. At 42 pounds, you looked like a little puppy compared to all of the other big dogs that were at Great Plains. The trainer brought you to me after I spent time working with other dogs. I know it sounds cliche, but the minute I saw you, I knew you were the one. You carried yourself with such grace. I could tell that you were not full of yourself. You were confident, but very reserved.

We spent the first afternoon working on basic obedience drills. Then we were to watch a video. I asked you to lay down and stay. About 15 minutes into the video, you stood up. I asked you to lay down. You stared at me. I asked you to lay down. You took your paw and lifted it, letting it drag down my thigh. I thought I should probably check my blood sugar. I did, and I was 68. I won’t forget that number. The second the meter beeped, you lied down at my feet and sighed. I ran to the trainer to tell what had just happened. You caught my first low! And after I pet you and said, “yay, Dixie” you looked at me, as if you were saying, “ok, so that’s what you want to know! I get it!”

The first night I brought you back to the little house to spend the night, I worried. It was raining. You didn’t want to eat anything. You hid under a twin bed while I slept. But while I slept, I felt your paw slide down my back. I woke up and tested. I was low again. You knew.

I spent the next three weeks training with you. Some days we worked at Great Plains, and other days we went to the nearby larger town to work on your public access skills. It was exhausting work, but by the end of the three weeks, we were a team.

It took me a while to understand you. Thank you for being patient with my “human-ness” during that time. You knew what you were doing. I was the one who had a lot of learning to do. It took time for me to believe in you. In hindsight, I wish that I could have just trusted you. Instead, I spent time doubting you. It was so scary to believe that a dog could understand what was going on in my body so much better than I could. And so I, mistakenly, spent too much time trying to catch you missing lows. So that I could prove to my cognitive mind that you were “just a dog.”

Oh, Dixie. You aren’t just a dog. You’re a server. You put me above all else. You make living with diabetes so much easier. You have become quite picky about the range that you want my blood sugars to be in. You quietly do your job every minute of every day. You save me.

People used to question that you really worked. I would get half-smiles from people who pretended to believe. That used to bother me in the beginning. Now I just smile. Because I know what you do, and the people who really know you see what you do, and that’s all that counts.

When I reflect on what my life was like before you, I don’t want to go back. I don’t take the time that I have with you for granted. I believe in you. I trust you.

Oh, Dixie. I love you. More than I ever thought I could. I am blessed.

Thank you, Dixie. You are my shining star.

Love,
Molly

You Can Do This

Diabetes is a frustrating, difficult disease. What keeps me going is all the people in my life who encourage me and stand with me to battle this disease day after day.

Kim came up with the idea to share our stories. Because we can do this.

So, here is my first official vlog.

I wanted to share a few things about living with diabetes for nearly 36 years.

You can do this.

Dixie's Alert

Many times, after Dixie has alerted me, I wish that I had thought to record it. But, as it turns out, I'm low when she alerts so I'm not always at maximum brain power to remember to turn a camera on her.

Yesterday, however, I did.

I was sitting in a recliner. Dixie half jumped, and put her front paws in my lap. Having my Iphone in hand, I turned on the video camera.Then , I try to just pet her (and clean the sleep out of her eyes) so you can see that "sweet talking" her (petting) doesn't distract her from her job. I can't just "pet the alert out of her."

You'll see that holding the phone to video while blood testing is not that easy. Yes, I know that I spilled test strips everywhere. (and cleaned them up once the filming was complete) And I apologize for the camera jumping around while I was trying to poke my finger.

Dixie hates making eye contact with me, or anyone for that matter. When she does, I know she means business. After the stare, she does her two other alerts. First she paws me, and then she gets her nose under my arm/hand and pushes. You'll get to see all this. And no, I didn't have symptoms. I had no idea I was low.

People ask me all the time, "how does Dixie alert you?" Well...this is how.

Thank you, Dixie.

6 things - D blog day

Here are six things I wish people knew about living with Type 1 diabetes:

1. It's complicated.
To some people it seems like if I just watch what I eat, give insulin, and prick my fingers I will be right as rain. It's not that easy. Diabetes is complicated. It's a hundred decisions about "simple things" like eating and exercising. It's constantly thinking about what's next, what's worked, what hasn't worked, and what's ahead. What works one day doesn't always work the next. It's like a lifelong brain-teaser.

2. It's a lot of mind games.
It's a lot of mind work. It's constant mental math trying to calculate carbs and insulin. (and I HATE math. I'm rotten at it) Trying to remember how food affected me in the past. Trying to remember to keep a running total of carbs that I eat. Remembering to bolus for said carbs. Convincing myself that a high or low number on my tester doesn't mean failure and doesn't mean I have to beat myself up. Convincing my mind that I can do this. My brain can be simply exhausted some days to tackle all that I need to tackle just to stay healthy.

3. It's a time stealer.
Diabetes takes time. Time to remember supplies. Time to fill cartridges with insulin. Time to deal with insurance companies. Time to test. Time to change my pump site. Time to read labels. Time to figure out solutions to blood sugar problems. Time lost to lows. Time lost to highs. Time to keep supplies stocked. Time for doctor appointments.
I've said that if I was cured, I'd have a heck of a lot of free time.

4. It's damaging.
Diabetes damages small blood vessels. In my eyes, in my gastrointestinal system, in my kidneys, and in my fingers and toes. Controlling my blood sugars helps stop some of the damage. But having diabetes means that damage is taking place under my skin. It's scary to think about. It's hard to not worry about what might happen.

5. If you know a person with diabetes, you know ONE person with diabetes.
This disease isn't the same for all of us. What works for one person, doesn't work for another. The way one person uses insulin isn't the way another person does. What diet strategy works well for one of us, doesn't work for another. It is called diabetes, but it looks different for each individual who lives with it.

6. I don't have a service dog because I have "brittle" or "bad" diabetes. I have Dixie because:
1) I love dogs,
2) I was having problems knowing when my blood sugar was low or dropping,
3) I wanted a security system and didn't want another site needed for a CGMS (continuous glucose monitoring system),
4) I like to be on the cutting edge and try things that others don't always believe can work, and
5) because it makes living with diabetes a LOT easier for me.

D Meme

What type of diabetes do you have:
Type 1.

When were you diagnosed:
August 15th, 1975

What's your current blood sugar:
90

What kind of meter do you use:
Freestyle Lite

How many times per day do you check your blood sugar:
I'd say the average is about 8-10 times a day.

What is a "HIGH" number for you:
I should probably direct this question to Dixie. She believes that the ideal range is 85-105. I correct for anything over 130.

What do you consider "LOW":
Under 70.

What is your favorite low blood sugar reaction treater:
I usually treat with apple juice in the night, Powerade and fruit snacks during the day. I use Gu and Carb-boom when I need a bigger lift or if I need to grab it out of Dixie's vest.

Describe your dream endo:
Hmmm. I like my endo. I guess it would be ideal if she would call me personally every couple months just to chat and answer random questions.

Who's on your support team:
My family
My friends
Dixie
The DOC

Do you think there will be a cure in your lifetime:
Nope. At least, not one without "hitches." (like needing to take anti-rejection meds)

What is a "cure" to you:
Being able to live spontaneously. Eating and/or drinking without a second thought.

The most annoying thing people say to you about your diabetes is:
"Oh, you must have the brittle kind!"

The most common misconception about diabetes:
That eating is the cause of diabetes.

If you could say one thing to your pancreas, what would it be:
Really? Come on!

D-versary day

Wow. Where did the summer go??

I had to post today since today is my 35 year d-anniversary day. It was 35 years ago today that I went to my pediatrician for my back to school (1st grade) physical. They did a random urinalysis and I was diagnosed with diabetes. My clinic was so small that it didn't have a lab in it, so I was sent to Minneapolis Children's Hospital for a blood test. Back then, I had to have a venous blood draw. Fast forward an hour from then and I was being admitted to the hospital with Type 1 diabetes. I stayed a week, so my parents could learn all about the big D. I didn't start insulin until sometime in September, as I was honeymooning and the doctors didn't think I needed to start insulin until my blood sugars were really high.

35 years later and I celebrate all my hard work. Living with diabetes for a long time takes a lot of persistence and hard work. (and also a heck of a lot of guessing!) I celebrate because I am proud of tackling this disease day in and day out. I'm proud that I see my endo once or twice a year, and that is the only specialist that I need to see. I'm proud (and really lucky!) that my only diabetes complication is hypoglycemia unawareness. And I'm happy that I have good friends and family (and a great dog!) who stick with me and help during the challenging times.
Of course, as always, I'll be celebrating my hard work with chocolate cake (with chocolate ganache) and good beer. (Beck's light, in case you're wondering)

Dixie and I just returned from our yearly wilderness canoe trip.

This year we ventured into the Quetico Provincial Park in Ontario, Canada. We had to mail away for Remote Border Crossing Permits (RABC, so we could enter at a little cabin on Basswood Lake) and carry our passports. The trip was much more rugged than I've ever done before. The mosquitoes were worse than they've been in a couple years. The weather was beautiful. Daytime highs in the mid-70s and nighttime lows in the mid-50s. Dixie was a star. She has learned how to do "remote alerts." She sits in the middle of the canoe (on top of a pack), and I sit in the back. Several times she looked back at me and lifted her paw to hit the pack that she was on. I tested and was able to catch lows. Really, during the entire trip, I only had 5 lows. That's 8 days of rugged exercise with only 5 LOWS!! Amazing. Dixie was able to alert when I was still in the average range, and I could make adjustments by turning down my basal rate (or turning it off) or having some gel.

It's hard to believe that school workshops start in two weeks, and I'll be back to work. Honestly, where does the time go?

Cheers!
Molly and Dixie

Dblog day 6 - pictures

Just a couple snapshots of life with diabetes.

Let's get moving - dblog day 5

Exercise . . . love it or hate it?

I'd be outright lying if I said I love it. I'd be lying if I said I hate it. I'm more of a middle of the roader.

I like taking rugged canoe trips into the BWCA or Quetico Provincial Park. I love paddling all day, walking through the woods with a canoe on my shoulders, and slogging through thigh-high mud while dragging a canoe. Unfortunately, I can't do that every day. Shoot. All day consistent exercise is much easier to deal with. I turn my pump down most of the day, and test often. I don't seem to have many lows during those trips.

I walk. Every day when I'm working, I take Dixie for a short walk twice during the day. I cut my lunch short and walk with Dixie. It's not long, but it's consistent. It's a lot more fun doing in nice weather than it is in the middle of the winter, or when it's raining. Even then the two of us are outside.

I have a Wii Fit. I like to use it. (some of the activities more than others! I hate the bird flapping mission. I can't figure it out. I'm a master at the tight rope.) I use it, though not as much as I need to.

I have a house that needs to be cleaned. I remind myself that sweating while vacuuming an entire house is a workout.

During the summer months, I find it easier to get into a workout routine. I have weights, and like to use them a couple times a week. I through in some elliptical or walking, and find that I can easily fit it into the day.

School months are challenging. I'm not a morning person. I haven't been able to bring myself to waking earlier and working out. When I get home from teaching, I'm spent. And it's so easy to just crash. Really, when all is said and done, I only end up having about 4-5 hours M-F that are my own. Exercise often moves to the bottom of the list.

I need to keep working on it.

It's easy to think of when there's only 21 days of school left!

Oh, and by the way....Dixie loves to exercise. She loves walks, running, and digging. She doesn't mind getting muddy or rained on in the process.

To carb or not to carb

Hmmm. To carb or not to carb is today's posting prompt. I guess my answer is yes.

I have been counting carbs for my entire adult life. As a kid, I was on the old exchange system diet.

I don't eat low carb. Or, I should say, I don't make a conscious effort to eat low carb all the time. I tried limiting carbs when I thought that was the easy answer, but it made me feel sick and lethargic all the time and it ended quickly. Now I make eating decisions based on my current blood glucose and trends.

I'm a creature of habit. I usually eat the same thing for breakfast and the same thing for lunch every day. Breakfast is usually some kind of granola bar. (Luna, MoJo, etc) Lunch is a lettuce/vegie salad.

I'm not much of a snacker during the day. If I have a snack, it's because I'm low.

Dinner is a wild card. If my number is higher, I eat low carb. If my number is lower, I eat carbs.

I tend to avoid food that are frustrating to try and bolus for. This includes baked potatoes, white rice, pizza, and pasta. I have an allergy to many fruits (especially citrus). I like many vegies. I like to eat a dinner that contains three items. Not sure if I got that from my old exchange system days, but it's pretty programmed into me. Sometimes pickles have to count as the third item. :-)

Dixie, on the other hand, loves meat and the low carb lifestyle. She is quite content with a dinner of steak and chicken, thank you very much.

PS. Every year on my diabetes anniversary I eat chocolate cake and beer. Just saying that it's worked so far! 34 years!

My support

I am fortunate to have so many people supporting me every day and in different ways.

My parents were there when I was diagnosed. They taught me that diabetes was not what defined me. They taught me self confidence and to be proud of my accomplishments. They never made me feel like an inconvenience or that I was different. They allowed me to be independent, and to make my own mistakes. They supported me helped me learn to understand diabetes.

My brother and sister put up with me. :-) Their lives were affected because of my diabetes, but I never felt like they resented me for that. My sister, who was deathly afraid of needles, learned to give me a shot for a silly reason. We were on a vacation and I forgot syringes. The only kind available to buy were different from the brand that I used. I just couldn’t fathom using it. So my sister gave me a shot... because she loved me. As an adult, I realize that my brother and sister had to live a different kind of life because I have diabetes. They are my family, and they have been my support through everything.

My friends that I made while at Camp Needlepoint were amazingly important support. It was at camp that I realized that other people had diabetes. It was there that I felt in the majority for the first time in my short life. Some of the kids that I went to camp with are still close friends of mine today, and I rely on their perspective and help problem solving. I met B. when we were both 8 years old. We grew up together, writing each other letters during the year that said, “only 285 days until camp.” We cherished our relationship. We didn’t have much in common. Different interests, different lifestyles. But we both had diabetes, and that was most important. She went on an insulin pump first, when she became pregnant. She made it safe for me to try and to know that I wouldn’t be alone. We have laughed and cried together. I wouldn’t have made it through my teen age years without her. 30 years later, we are still friends.

I have friends at work who I trust and appreciate.

My teaching partner is my school family. She was with me when hypoglycemia unawareness reared its ugly head. She found juice and found ways to get me to drink, even when I was uncooperative at times. She recognizes the work involved in living with diabetes, and encourages and supports me. When I decided to pursue getting a diabetes alert dog, she helped to set up fund raising and made me believe it was possible. Without judging or hesitation, she lets me bring a big, black dog to work every day. She supports me to eat a healthy lunch, and cuts up the vegies for our salad every day.

My friend W, who also works at school with me, loves my dog. She keeps me grounded in where I’m at. She acknowledges the effort that I put in to managing my diabetes. She brings Dixie birthday presents in gift bags. (which Dixie LOVES-- the bag as much as the present!!) She picks ticks off of her, and scratches her every day. She makes my job easier because of her skills with kids.

The friends from the D-OC who I’ve met up with are amazing. Their support doesn’t usually come live, but via posts and responses. I appreciate their willingness to share ideas and help me celebrate the daily victories.

Then there’s my Dixie. The dog who loves me unconditionally. The dog who is with me every day. She has changed my life. She is wise beyond her years. I trust her.

To all my friends, my family, and Dixie... thank you for your support. You’re the best.

Making the Low Go...

When I was first diagnosed, my mom made a little pouch for me to hold a pack of lifesavers. She would pin the pouch into all my pants and shorts. As I became more daring, I would take a couple lifesavers each day. My mom would ask why I ate 2 or 3 lifesavers and I would say, “because I had a little reaction.” (this mostly happened when she stocked my pouch with butter rum lifesavers. Or when I could sneak a little peak through the end of a regular pack and see that the white one was on the end. Then I would always eat that one) Honestly, how could I ever really know when I was low. Urine testing wasn’t accurate and that was the only reference I had. I said that I felt low, and my parents treated me. They didn't have me run to the bathroom to do a urine test. (since it wouldn't give good information anyway!) I might have been low my entire childhood. No wonder my grades were never very good. I was probably hypoglycemic (or hyperglycemic) through a good part of elementary school. :-)

When I was a kid, I used to love using regular pop for a low. As a child, the only diet pop available were Tab, Fresca, and Diet 7up. I used to stand in the convenience store oogling over the choices of regular pop. Oh, how I longed to have a swig of Tahitian Treat or Orange Crush. As a kid, my mom used to let me have some pop to treat a low.

I’m pretty boring when it comes to treating lows now. I guess the boring part comes from figuring out what works best, and sticking to it.

If I’m low in the middle of the night, or early morning, I drink Juicy Juice small apple juice boxes. Depending on the number, I might have a packet of GU energy gel too. Don’t get me wrong... I have no intention of expending energy in the middle of the night. I use that because it’s simple and easy to eat. Just rip open the package, squeeze the contents in my mouth, done.

Dixie carries GU packets in her vest. When I first got Dixie, I tried a couple different items in her vest. Most things ended up melting or being too bulky for her to lay on. GU smooshes flat and I can keep a couple packets in her vest. I use GU when I need something quick during the day.

At school, I keep juice boxes, GU, gatorade, and fruit snacks. I use different combinations of the three things depending on my number, time since/until a meal, and how much time I have to treat.

I try to avoid eating for lows whenever possible. Dixie helps with that. She will often alert to tell me that I have too much insulin on board. (because of some wild a-- bolus or guessing at carb counts for mixed foods) When that happens, I have figured out how much/how long to turn my basal rate down. When Dixie alerts and I’m in the 70s, I will usually not eat, I’ll just turn my basal off for a half hour. I use Gatorade or Powerade sometimes when I just need “a little something.” (for an alert from Dixie in the high 60s, I can take a couple swigs of Gatorade, turn my rate off for an hour, and coast)

Those are my preferred low strategies. Thanks to Dixie, I can make more subtle adjustments to my basal rate to anticipate or prevent a low.

One day at a time

8:30 am - no alarm set today because it’s Saturday. A black paw hits at my arm, which is hanging off of the side of the bed. I reach over and pet her head, then roll over. Now a black paw is hitting me on the back. All right. I reach over on the table and grab my tester. Load it up with a strip and poke. Countdown, then a number appears in the screen. 56. I open a straw wrapper and push it in the juice box. The black dog sighs and leaves the room. I drink the juice and then fall back to sleep.

9:55 am - I wake up. Stretch. Get out of bed. The black dog is happy that I’m finally awake. Check blood sugar. Happy that I had the whole juice box earlier because blood sugar is still a little low. (78) Have a piece of toast. Bolus for 15 grams of carb with correction for 78.

10:30 am - Disconnect pump and hit the shower. After, dry off and then reconnect. It was a short shower so I didn’t use the disconnect feature to cover the missed basal rate.

10:45 am - Check blood sugar to check that I gave right amount for toast.

1:00 pm - Time for lunch. Check blood sugar and bolus for carbs.

2:15pm- Black dog starts hitting me with her paw. I check. Blood sugar is 135. I check Insulin on board. Shoot. I overbolused for guessed carb content. Turn basal rate down to 10% for an hour to correct.

3:30 pm - Check blood sugar to make sure that I turned basal rate down enough to make up for the overbolus at lunch. I guessed right this time. Blood sugar is holding steady.

5:00 pm - Check blood sugar. Still holding steady.

6:30 pm - Check blood sugar before driving. Load black dog in the back of the car. Drive to restaurant to meet friends for dinner.

7:00 pm - Check blood sugar. Give bolus for estimated carbs in dinner and beer. Black dog seems to agree with bolus. She continues to snooze under the table at the restaurant. People are starring at the black dog and me. Someone comes over to the table and asks if the dog is in training. I say no. Then the person asks if I’m almost blind. I say no, and tell the story of what Dixie’s job is. The person says that she’s never heard of that before, but she has an uncle with “brittle” diabetes who has had his foot amputated.

8:45 pm - Get in the car and check blood sugar before driving. Guessed carb content pretty well, so I'm in a good zone and ready to drive home. Roll back windows down in the parking lot so the black dog can sniff the air outside.

10:00 pm - Give black dog some treats and snuggles. She loves having a bedtime snack.

10:30 pm - Check blood sugar one last time before bed.

April? Really?

Yikes. It's April already. And not just April... the end of April quickly approaching May. Seriously, where does the time go?

This photo is from our spring vacation up north in March. The weather (even on the Canadian border) was unseasonably warm and Dixie (and I) had a wonderful time. She loves sitting outside and just watching and being part of nature.

I also visited the endo in March. Not much new on the diabetes front. A1c is holding steady, Vitamin D level was finally in the average range, BP is fine, Kidneys are healthy, and all other random labs were fine.

This week, a special aired on PBS. If you didn't catch it... it was an amazing show about service dogs. Through a Dog's Eyes.

Here's looking at Dixie's eyes right after she dug a nice hole on vacation. :-)

Passed from my friend, Kathy. :-)

I have to admit. Life has been crazy busy lately. School is nuts. I had the second stage of a dental implant done last Thursday. (which was PAINFUL!) As much as I enjoy blogging, I have let it slip the last few months. I still read blogs daily, but just can't seem to pull it together and post.

So... Dixie is still a super dog. She loves the snow and is a happy dog romping around in the yard.


I saw this on Kathy's blog and thought, "better late than never."

Here are my responses to the survey:

1. Where is your cell phone? in my pocket.

2. Your hair? in need of a cut

3. Your mother? Living and working in the Twin Cities.

4. Your father? Living and working in a small town outside of the Twin Cities.

5. Your favorite food? deli sandwiches

6. Your dream last night? hmmm. don't remember

7. Your favorite drink? Diet Mountain Dew.

8. Your dream/goal? Be the best I can be.

9. What room are you in? Living room/Great room.

10. Your hobby? canoeing, camping, shopping for fun camping gear.

11. Your fear? Chronic Pain

12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Here.

13. Where were you last night? Home watching the Vikings game. (Booo!)

14. Something you aren't? Tall.

15. Muffins? Carrot.

16. Wish list item? Pool.

17. Where did you grow up? A suburb of Minneapolis.

18. Last thing you did? Worked on report cards.

19. What are you wearing? Jeans and a Dam Diabetes sweatshirt.

20. Your tv? Samsung.

21. Your pets? Dixie, the service dog and Ella, the cute pet dog.

22. Your friends? Mean the world to me.

23. Your life? Crazy busy right now.

24. Your mood? Calm .

25. Missing someone? Yes. My friend, Kim who stopped communicating with me over a year ago. Not sure why, but so very sad about it.

26. Vehicle? Yep. Subaru Forrester.

27. Something you're not wearing? One earring. The back fell off and I can't find it, so I only have one one right now.

28. Your favorite store? REI

29. Your favorite color? Red

30. When was the last time you laughed? This morning.

31. Cried? On Saturday when my mouth was hurting and I was frustrated with it.

32. Your best friend? K.

33.One place that I go over and over? canoeing in the BWCA.

34. One person who emails me regularly? MS, a good friend from New Mexico and W, a friend from work.

35. Favorite place to eat? Paddy Ryans