Dam Diabetes

Tractor Tires and Spiders

2011-12-20T19:19:00.000-06:00

Last week, I met up with Scott, for a good old fashioned d-meetup. Dixie didn't come. She was battling a sore back, and spending a couple hours on a concrete floor didn't seem therapeutic. Unhappy about it, she stayed home.

I left my house and was cruising down the highway. Suddenly, a giant tractor tire flew off the back of a truck and was hurtling towards my car. I swerved into the next lane (THANK GOODNESS there wasn’t a car in that lane at the time) and swerved back. The tire missed my car by about a foot. It went sailing down the side of the road and cars behind me dodged it as well.

What was the first thought I had after I survived the trauma? Not, “Holy Sugar. I’m lucky that tire didn’t hit my car and kill me.” It was “Oh great. Now I’m going to be high from the adrenaline surge.”

Really. Who thinks that way?! I was nearly smashed by a flying tractor tire, and the only thought that came to mind was about my impending high blood sugar.

I shared the story with Scott, and he told me a similar one about testing his basal rates overnight, walking into the bathroom and seeing a spider, freaking out about said spider, and then knowing his basal testing was a wash because of the adrenaline rush.

Dam diabetes. It infiltrates everything. Every. Little. Thing.

We laughed. Because what else can you do? The two of us, sitting in a restaurant, laughing because we both understood.

There was a lot of talking and a lot of laughing. Scott and I discussed the possibility of improved diabetes management if we had an I-phone with Siri. I told Scott, imagine being able to just say, “I’m eating 2 cups of white rice. How many carbs is that?” I actually tried this with a friend’s phone. Only it was Thanksgiving, so I asked how many carbs in a cup of stuffing. The phone pulled up a whole list of carb possibilities. With that as a d-strategy, maybe Scott would be able to ditch the clipboard. :-)

Are you using Siri as part of your d-management plan? If so, please share!

Happy Holidays!

Molly and Dixie

Wordless Wednesday

2011-08-24T21:03:00.008-05:00

Dear Dixie,

2011-07-15T16:49:00.005-05:00

My Dearest Dixie,

Do you still remember when we met? I was nervous. I had never spent much time around big dogs before you. I had dreams of what I hoped you would do for me, but scared that it was too much to dream for. I think that you were just as nervous about meeting me as I was about meeting you.

Even though I had waited about a year to finally meet you, the couple weeks before I finally went to North Dakota that August seemed to whiz by. I started to have real doubts about what I was doing. What on earth was I thinking? How would I be able to manage having a dog with me every day at work? How would my friends react to me being connected to a big, furry companion all that time? What if I was expecting the impossible? What if this didn’t work?

I needed it to work. So I packed up three weeks of stuff and went to North Dakota.

You were little. At 42 pounds, you looked like a little puppy compared to all of the other big dogs that were at Great Plains. The trainer brought you to me after I spent time working with other dogs. I know it sounds cliche, but the minute I saw you, I knew you were the one. You carried yourself with such grace. I could tell that you were not full of yourself. You were confident, but very reserved.

We spent the first afternoon working on basic obedience drills. Then we were to watch a video. I asked you to lay down and stay. About 15 minutes into the video, you stood up. I asked you to lay down. You stared at me. I asked you to lay down. You took your paw and lifted it, letting it drag down my thigh. I thought I should probably check my blood sugar. I did, and I was 68. I won’t forget that number. The second the meter beeped, you lied down at my feet and sighed. I ran to the trainer to tell what had just happened. You caught my first low! And after I pet you and said, “yay, Dixie” you looked at me, as if you were saying, “ok, so that’s what you want to know! I get it!”

The first night I brought you back to the little house to spend the night, I worried. It was raining. You didn’t want to eat anything. You hid under a twin bed while I slept. But while I slept, I felt your paw slide down my back. I woke up and tested. I was low again. You knew.

I spent the next three weeks training with you. Some days we worked at Great Plains, and other days we went to the nearby larger town to work on your public access skills. It was exhausting work, but by the end of the three weeks, we were a team.

It took me a while to understand you. Thank you for being patient with my “human-ness” during that time. You knew what you were doing. I was the one who had a lot of learning to do. It took time for me to believe in you. In hindsight, I wish that I could have just trusted you. Instead, I spent time doubting you. It was so scary to believe that a dog could understand what was going on in my body so much better than I could. And so I, mistakenly, spent too much time trying to catch you missing lows. So that I could prove to my cognitive mind that you were “just a dog.”

Oh, Dixie. You aren’t just a dog. You’re a server. You put me above all else. You make living with diabetes so much easier. You have become quite picky about the range that you want my blood sugars to be in. You quietly do your job every minute of every day. You save me.

People used to question that you really worked. I would get half-smiles from people who pretended to believe. That used to bother me in the beginning. Now I just smile. Because I know what you do, and the people who really know you see what you do, and that’s all that counts.

When I reflect on what my life was like before you, I don’t want to go back. I don’t take the time that I have with you for granted. I believe in you. I trust you.

Oh, Dixie. I love you. More than I ever thought I could. I am blessed.

Thank you, Dixie. You are my shining star.

Love,
Molly

You Can Do This

2011-06-15T15:44:00.004-05:00

Diabetes is a frustrating, difficult disease. What keeps me going is all the people in my life who encourage me and stand with me to battle this disease day after day.

Kim came up with the idea to share our stories. Because we can do this.

So, here is my first official vlog.

I wanted to share a few things about living with diabetes for nearly 36 years.

You can do this.

Dixie's Alert

2011-02-26T17:03:00.006-06:00

Many times, after Dixie has alerted me, I wish that I had thought to record it. But, as it turns out, I'm low when she alerts so I'm not always at maximum brain power to remember to turn a camera on her.

Yesterday, however, I did.

I was sitting in a recliner. Dixie half jumped, and put her front paws in my lap. Having my Iphone in hand, I turned on the video camera.Then , I try to just pet her (and clean the sleep out of her eyes) so you can see that "sweet talking" her (petting) doesn't distract her from her job. I can't just "pet the alert out of her."

You'll see that holding the phone to video while blood testing is not that easy. Yes, I know that I spilled test strips everywhere. (and cleaned them up once the filming was complete) And I apologize for the camera jumping around while I was trying to poke my finger.

Dixie hates making eye contact with me, or anyone for that matter. When she does, I know she means business. After the stare, she does her two other alerts. First she paws me, and then she gets her nose under my arm/hand and pushes. You'll get to see all this. And no, I didn't have symptoms. I had no idea I was low.

People ask me all the time, "how does Dixie alert you?" Well...this is how.

Thank you, Dixie.

6 things - D blog day

2010-11-09T16:19:00.007-06:00

Here are six things I wish people knew about living with Type 1 diabetes:

1. It's complicated.
To some people it seems like if I just watch what I eat, give insulin, and prick my fingers I will be right as rain. It's not that easy. Diabetes is complicated. It's a hundred decisions about "simple things" like eating and exercising. It's constantly thinking about what's next, what's worked, what hasn't worked, and what's ahead. What works one day doesn't always work the next. It's like a lifelong brain-teaser.

2. It's a lot of mind games.
It's a lot of mind work. It's constant mental math trying to calculate carbs and insulin. (and I HATE math. I'm rotten at it) Trying to remember how food affected me in the past. Trying to remember to keep a running total of carbs that I eat. Remembering to bolus for said carbs. Convincing myself that a high or low number on my tester doesn't mean failure and doesn't mean I have to beat myself up. Convincing my mind that I can do this. My brain can be simply exhausted some days to tackle all that I need to tackle just to stay healthy.

3. It's a time stealer.
Diabetes takes time. Time to remember supplies. Time to fill cartridges with insulin. Time to deal with insurance companies. Time to test. Time to change my pump site. Time to read labels. Time to figure out solutions to blood sugar problems. Time lost to lows. Time lost to highs. Time to keep supplies stocked. Time for doctor appointments.
I've said that if I was cured, I'd have a heck of a lot of free time.

4. It's damaging.
Diabetes damages small blood vessels. In my eyes, in my gastrointestinal system, in my kidneys, and in my fingers and toes. Controlling my blood sugars helps stop some of the damage. But having diabetes means that damage is taking place under my skin. It's scary to think about. It's hard to not worry about what might happen.

5. If you know a person with diabetes, you know ONE person with diabetes.
This disease isn't the same for all of us. What works for one person, doesn't work for another. The way one person uses insulin isn't the way another person does. What diet strategy works well for one of us, doesn't work for another. It is called diabetes, but it looks different for each individual who lives with it.

6. I don't have a service dog because I have "brittle" or "bad" diabetes. I have Dixie because:
1) I love dogs,
2) I was having problems knowing when my blood sugar was low or dropping,
3) I wanted a security system and didn't want another site needed for a CGMS (continuous glucose monitoring system),
4) I like to be on the cutting edge and try things that others don't always believe can work, and
5) because it makes living with diabetes a LOT easier for me.

D Meme

2010-09-13T18:09:00.005-05:00

What type of diabetes do you have:
Type 1.

When were you diagnosed:
August 15th, 1975

What's your current blood sugar:
90

What kind of meter do you use:
Freestyle Lite

How many times per day do you check your blood sugar:
I'd say the average is about 8-10 times a day.

What is a "HIGH" number for you:
I should probably direct this question to Dixie. She believes that the ideal range is 85-105. I correct for anything over 130.

What do you consider "LOW":
Under 70.

What is your favorite low blood sugar reaction treater:
I usually treat with apple juice in the night, Powerade and fruit snacks during the day. I use Gu and Carb-boom when I need a bigger lift or if I need to grab it out of Dixie's vest.

Describe your dream endo:
Hmmm. I like my endo. I guess it would be ideal if she would call me personally every couple months just to chat and answer random questions.

Who's on your support team:
My family
My friends
Dixie
The DOC

Do you think there will be a cure in your lifetime:
Nope. At least, not one without "hitches." (like needing to take anti-rejection meds)

What is a "cure" to you:
Being able to live spontaneously. Eating and/or drinking without a second thought.

The most annoying thing people say to you about your diabetes is:
"Oh, you must have the brittle kind!"

The most common misconception about diabetes:
That eating is the cause of diabetes.

If you could say one thing to your pancreas, what would it be:
Really? Come on!

D-versary day

2010-08-15T15:29:00.008-05:00

Wow. Where did the summer go??

I had to post today since today is my 35 year d-anniversary day. It was 35 years ago today that I went to my pediatrician for my back to school (1st grade) physical. They did a random urinalysis and I was diagnosed with diabetes. My clinic was so small that it didn't have a lab in it, so I was sent to Minneapolis Children's Hospital for a blood test. Back then, I had to have a venous blood draw. Fast forward an hour from then and I was being admitted to the hospital with Type 1 diabetes. I stayed a week, so my parents could learn all about the big D. I didn't start insulin until sometime in September, as I was honeymooning and the doctors didn't think I needed to start insulin until my blood sugars were really high.

35 years later and I celebrate all my hard work. Living with diabetes for a long time takes a lot of persistence and hard work. (and also a heck of a lot of guessing!) I celebrate because I am proud of tackling this disease day in and day out. I'm proud that I see my endo once or twice a year, and that is the only specialist that I need to see. I'm proud (and really lucky!) that my only diabetes complication is hypoglycemia unawareness. And I'm happy that I have good friends and family (and a great dog!) who stick with me and help during the challenging times.
Of course, as always, I'll be celebrating my hard work with chocolate cake (with chocolate ganache) and good beer. (Beck's light, in case you're wondering)

Dixie and I just returned from our yearly wilderness canoe trip.

This year we ventured into the Quetico Provincial Park in Ontario, Canada. We had to mail away for Remote Border Crossing Permits (RABC, so we could enter at a little cabin on Basswood Lake) and carry our passports. The trip was much more rugged than I've ever done before. The mosquitoes were worse than they've been in a couple years. The weather was beautiful. Daytime highs in the mid-70s and nighttime lows in the mid-50s. Dixie was a star. She has learned how to do "remote alerts." She sits in the middle of the canoe (on top of a pack), and I sit in the back. Several times she looked back at me and lifted her paw to hit the pack that she was on. I tested and was able to catch lows. Really, during the entire trip, I only had 5 lows. That's 8 days of rugged exercise with only 5 LOWS!! Amazing. Dixie was able to alert when I was still in the average range, and I could make adjustments by turning down my basal rate (or turning it off) or having some gel.

It's hard to believe that school workshops start in two weeks, and I'll be back to work. Honestly, where does the time go?

Cheers!
Molly and Dixie

Dblog day 6 - pictures

2010-05-15T21:02:00.010-05:00

Just a couple snapshots of life with diabetes.

Let's get moving - dblog day 5

2010-05-14T18:34:00.003-05:00

Exercise . . . love it or hate it?

I'd be outright lying if I said I love it. I'd be lying if I said I hate it. I'm more of a middle of the roader.

I like taking rugged canoe trips into the BWCA or Quetico Provincial Park. I love paddling all day, walking through the woods with a canoe on my shoulders, and slogging through thigh-high mud while dragging a canoe. Unfortunately, I can't do that every day. Shoot. All day consistent exercise is much easier to deal with. I turn my pump down most of the day, and test often. I don't seem to have many lows during those trips.

I walk. Every day when I'm working, I take Dixie for a short walk twice during the day. I cut my lunch short and walk with Dixie. It's not long, but it's consistent. It's a lot more fun doing in nice weather than it is in the middle of the winter, or when it's raining. Even then the two of us are outside.

I have a Wii Fit. I like to use it. (some of the activities more than others! I hate the bird flapping mission. I can't figure it out. I'm a master at the tight rope.) I use it, though not as much as I need to.

I have a house that needs to be cleaned. I remind myself that sweating while vacuuming an entire house is a workout.

During the summer months, I find it easier to get into a workout routine. I have weights, and like to use them a couple times a week. I through in some elliptical or walking, and find that I can easily fit it into the day.

School months are challenging. I'm not a morning person. I haven't been able to bring myself to waking earlier and working out. When I get home from teaching, I'm spent. And it's so easy to just crash. Really, when all is said and done, I only end up having about 4-5 hours M-F that are my own. Exercise often moves to the bottom of the list.

I need to keep working on it.

It's easy to think of when there's only 21 days of school left!

Oh, and by the way....Dixie loves to exercise. She loves walks, running, and digging. She doesn't mind getting muddy or rained on in the process.

To carb or not to carb

2010-05-13T18:47:00.004-05:00

Hmmm. To carb or not to carb is today's posting prompt. I guess my answer is yes.

I have been counting carbs for my entire adult life. As a kid, I was on the old exchange system diet.

I don't eat low carb. Or, I should say, I don't make a conscious effort to eat low carb all the time. I tried limiting carbs when I thought that was the easy answer, but it made me feel sick and lethargic all the time and it ended quickly. Now I make eating decisions based on my current blood glucose and trends.

I'm a creature of habit. I usually eat the same thing for breakfast and the same thing for lunch every day. Breakfast is usually some kind of granola bar. (Luna, MoJo, etc) Lunch is a lettuce/vegie salad.

I'm not much of a snacker during the day. If I have a snack, it's because I'm low.

Dinner is a wild card. If my number is higher, I eat low carb. If my number is lower, I eat carbs.

I tend to avoid food that are frustrating to try and bolus for. This includes baked potatoes, white rice, pizza, and pasta. I have an allergy to many fruits (especially citrus). I like many vegies. I like to eat a dinner that contains three items. Not sure if I got that from my old exchange system days, but it's pretty programmed into me. Sometimes pickles have to count as the third item. :-)

Dixie, on the other hand, loves meat and the low carb lifestyle. She is quite content with a dinner of steak and chicken, thank you very much.

PS. Every year on my diabetes anniversary I eat chocolate cake and beer. Just saying that it's worked so far! 34 years!

My support

2010-05-12T18:35:00.003-05:00

I am fortunate to have so many people supporting me every day and in different ways.

My parents were there when I was diagnosed. They taught me that diabetes was not what defined me. They taught me self confidence and to be proud of my accomplishments. They never made me feel like an inconvenience or that I was different. They allowed me to be independent, and to make my own mistakes. They supported me helped me learn to understand diabetes.

My brother and sister put up with me. :-) Their lives were affected because of my diabetes, but I never felt like they resented me for that. My sister, who was deathly afraid of needles, learned to give me a shot for a silly reason. We were on a vacation and I forgot syringes. The only kind available to buy were different from the brand that I used. I just couldn’t fathom using it. So my sister gave me a shot... because she loved me. As an adult, I realize that my brother and sister had to live a different kind of life because I have diabetes. They are my family, and they have been my support through everything.

My friends that I made while at Camp Needlepoint were amazingly important support. It was at camp that I realized that other people had diabetes. It was there that I felt in the majority for the first time in my short life. Some of the kids that I went to camp with are still close friends of mine today, and I rely on their perspective and help problem solving. I met B. when we were both 8 years old. We grew up together, writing each other letters during the year that said, “only 285 days until camp.” We cherished our relationship. We didn’t have much in common. Different interests, different lifestyles. But we both had diabetes, and that was most important. She went on an insulin pump first, when she became pregnant. She made it safe for me to try and to know that I wouldn’t be alone. We have laughed and cried together. I wouldn’t have made it through my teen age years without her. 30 years later, we are still friends.

I have friends at work who I trust and appreciate.

My teaching partner is my school family. She was with me when hypoglycemia unawareness reared its ugly head. She found juice and found ways to get me to drink, even when I was uncooperative at times. She recognizes the work involved in living with diabetes, and encourages and supports me. When I decided to pursue getting a diabetes alert dog, she helped to set up fund raising and made me believe it was possible. Without judging or hesitation, she lets me bring a big, black dog to work every day. She supports me to eat a healthy lunch, and cuts up the vegies for our salad every day.

My friend W, who also works at school with me, loves my dog. She keeps me grounded in where I’m at. She acknowledges the effort that I put in to managing my diabetes. She brings Dixie birthday presents in gift bags. (which Dixie LOVES-- the bag as much as the present!!) She picks ticks off of her, and scratches her every day. She makes my job easier because of her skills with kids.

The friends from the D-OC who I’ve met up with are amazing. Their support doesn’t usually come live, but via posts and responses. I appreciate their willingness to share ideas and help me celebrate the daily victories.

Then there’s my Dixie. The dog who loves me unconditionally. The dog who is with me every day. She has changed my life. She is wise beyond her years. I trust her.

To all my friends, my family, and Dixie... thank you for your support. You’re the best.

Making the Low Go...

2010-05-11T09:35:00.002-05:00

When I was first diagnosed, my mom made a little pouch for me to hold a pack of lifesavers. She would pin the pouch into all my pants and shorts. As I became more daring, I would take a couple lifesavers each day. My mom would ask why I ate 2 or 3 lifesavers and I would say, “because I had a little reaction.” (this mostly happened when she stocked my pouch with butter rum lifesavers. Or when I could sneak a little peak through the end of a regular pack and see that the white one was on the end. Then I would always eat that one) Honestly, how could I ever really know when I was low. Urine testing wasn’t accurate and that was the only reference I had. I said that I felt low, and my parents treated me. They didn't have me run to the bathroom to do a urine test. (since it wouldn't give good information anyway!) I might have been low my entire childhood. No wonder my grades were never very good. I was probably hypoglycemic (or hyperglycemic) through a good part of elementary school. :-)

When I was a kid, I used to love using regular pop for a low. As a child, the only diet pop available were Tab, Fresca, and Diet 7up. I used to stand in the convenience store oogling over the choices of regular pop. Oh, how I longed to have a swig of Tahitian Treat or Orange Crush. As a kid, my mom used to let me have some pop to treat a low.

I’m pretty boring when it comes to treating lows now. I guess the boring part comes from figuring out what works best, and sticking to it.

If I’m low in the middle of the night, or early morning, I drink Juicy Juice small apple juice boxes. Depending on the number, I might have a packet of GU energy gel too. Don’t get me wrong... I have no intention of expending energy in the middle of the night. I use that because it’s simple and easy to eat. Just rip open the package, squeeze the contents in my mouth, done.

Dixie carries GU packets in her vest. When I first got Dixie, I tried a couple different items in her vest. Most things ended up melting or being too bulky for her to lay on. GU smooshes flat and I can keep a couple packets in her vest. I use GU when I need something quick during the day.

At school, I keep juice boxes, GU, gatorade, and fruit snacks. I use different combinations of the three things depending on my number, time since/until a meal, and how much time I have to treat.

I try to avoid eating for lows whenever possible. Dixie helps with that. She will often alert to tell me that I have too much insulin on board. (because of some wild a-- bolus or guessing at carb counts for mixed foods) When that happens, I have figured out how much/how long to turn my basal rate down. When Dixie alerts and I’m in the 70s, I will usually not eat, I’ll just turn my basal off for a half hour. I use Gatorade or Powerade sometimes when I just need “a little something.” (for an alert from Dixie in the high 60s, I can take a couple swigs of Gatorade, turn my rate off for an hour, and coast)

Those are my preferred low strategies. Thanks to Dixie, I can make more subtle adjustments to my basal rate to anticipate or prevent a low.

One day at a time

2010-05-10T08:28:00.002-05:00

8:30 am - no alarm set today because it’s Saturday. A black paw hits at my arm, which is hanging off of the side of the bed. I reach over and pet her head, then roll over. Now a black paw is hitting me on the back. All right. I reach over on the table and grab my tester. Load it up with a strip and poke. Countdown, then a number appears in the screen. 56. I open a straw wrapper and push it in the juice box. The black dog sighs and leaves the room. I drink the juice and then fall back to sleep.

9:55 am - I wake up. Stretch. Get out of bed. The black dog is happy that I’m finally awake. Check blood sugar. Happy that I had the whole juice box earlier because blood sugar is still a little low. (78) Have a piece of toast. Bolus for 15 grams of carb with correction for 78.

10:30 am - Disconnect pump and hit the shower. After, dry off and then reconnect. It was a short shower so I didn’t use the disconnect feature to cover the missed basal rate.

10:45 am - Check blood sugar to check that I gave right amount for toast.

1:00 pm - Time for lunch. Check blood sugar and bolus for carbs.

2:15pm- Black dog starts hitting me with her paw. I check. Blood sugar is 135. I check Insulin on board. Shoot. I overbolused for guessed carb content. Turn basal rate down to 10% for an hour to correct.

3:30 pm - Check blood sugar to make sure that I turned basal rate down enough to make up for the overbolus at lunch. I guessed right this time. Blood sugar is holding steady.

5:00 pm - Check blood sugar. Still holding steady.

6:30 pm - Check blood sugar before driving. Load black dog in the back of the car. Drive to restaurant to meet friends for dinner.

7:00 pm - Check blood sugar. Give bolus for estimated carbs in dinner and beer. Black dog seems to agree with bolus. She continues to snooze under the table at the restaurant. People are starring at the black dog and me. Someone comes over to the table and asks if the dog is in training. I say no. Then the person asks if I’m almost blind. I say no, and tell the story of what Dixie’s job is. The person says that she’s never heard of that before, but she has an uncle with “brittle” diabetes who has had his foot amputated.

8:45 pm - Get in the car and check blood sugar before driving. Guessed carb content pretty well, so I'm in a good zone and ready to drive home. Roll back windows down in the parking lot so the black dog can sniff the air outside.

10:00 pm - Give black dog some treats and snuggles. She loves having a bedtime snack.

10:30 pm - Check blood sugar one last time before bed.

April? Really?

2010-04-23T18:31:00.005-05:00

Yikes. It's April already. And not just April... the end of April quickly approaching May. Seriously, where does the time go?

This photo is from our spring vacation up north in March. The weather (even on the Canadian border) was unseasonably warm and Dixie (and I) had a wonderful time. She loves sitting outside and just watching and being part of nature.

I also visited the endo in March. Not much new on the diabetes front. A1c is holding steady, Vitamin D level was finally in the average range, BP is fine, Kidneys are healthy, and all other random labs were fine.

This week, a special aired on PBS. If you didn't catch it... it was an amazing show about service dogs. Through a Dog's Eyes.

Here's looking at Dixie's eyes right after she dug a nice hole on vacation. :-)

Passed from my friend, Kathy. :-)

2010-01-25T13:25:00.006-06:00

I have to admit. Life has been crazy busy lately. School is nuts. I had the second stage of a dental implant done last Thursday. (which was PAINFUL!) As much as I enjoy blogging, I have let it slip the last few months. I still read blogs daily, but just can't seem to pull it together and post.

So... Dixie is still a super dog. She loves the snow and is a happy dog romping around in the yard.

I saw this on Kathy's blog and thought, "better late than never."

Here are my responses to the survey:

1. Where is your cell phone? in my pocket.

2. Your hair? in need of a cut

3. Your mother? Living and working in the Twin Cities.

4. Your father? Living and working in a small town outside of the Twin Cities.

5. Your favorite food? deli sandwiches

6. Your dream last night? hmmm. don't remember

7. Your favorite drink? Diet Mountain Dew.

8. Your dream/goal? Be the best I can be.

9. What room are you in? Living room/Great room.

10. Your hobby? canoeing, camping, shopping for fun camping gear.

11. Your fear? Chronic Pain

12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Here.

13. Where were you last night? Home watching the Vikings game. (Booo!)

14. Something you aren't? Tall.

15. Muffins? Carrot.

16. Wish list item? Pool.

17. Where did you grow up? A suburb of Minneapolis.

18. Last thing you did? Worked on report cards.

19. What are you wearing? Jeans and a Dam Diabetes sweatshirt.

20. Your tv? Samsung.

21. Your pets? Dixie, the service dog and Ella, the cute pet dog.

22. Your friends? Mean the world to me.

23. Your life? Crazy busy right now.

24. Your mood? Calm .

25. Missing someone? Yes. My friend, Kim who stopped communicating with me over a year ago. Not sure why, but so very sad about it.

26. Vehicle? Yep. Subaru Forrester.

27. Something you're not wearing? One earring. The back fell off and I can't find it, so I only have one one right now.

28. Your favorite store? REI

29. Your favorite color? Red

30. When was the last time you laughed? This morning.

31. Cried? On Saturday when my mouth was hurting and I was frustrated with it.

32. Your best friend? K.

33.One place that I go over and over? canoeing in the BWCA.

34. One person who emails me regularly? MS, a good friend from New Mexico and W, a friend from work.

35. Favorite place to eat? Paddy Ryans

My 40 Meme

2009-11-27T15:51:00.007-06:00

***My 40***

1. Do you like bleu cheese? Yep. Not in huge amounts, but a little is tasty.

2. Have you ever smoked? Yes. Don't tell my mom.

3. Do you own a gun? No way.

4. Favorite type of food? Deli food. Sandwiches, salads, dill pickles, etc.

5. Favorite type of music? All but country and rap.

6. What do you think of hot dogs? About two times a year they are the bomb. They must be eaten at a sports event.

7. Favorite Christmas movie? Frosty the Snowman.

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Latte.

9. Can you do push ups? Only against the wall or against a counter top.

10. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? My medic alert bracelet is about the only jewelry I wear. Does that make it a favorite?

11. Favorite hobby? BWCA canoe camping

12. Do you have A.D.D.? Mine is more of the ADHD kind. I’m a wiggler.

13. Do you wear glasses/contacts? Glasses for distance, sunglasses to look cool.

14. Middle name? Smart Ass if you ask my friends. Elizabeth if you check my birth certificate.

15. Name three thoughts at this exact moment: Diners, Drive ins, and Dives marathon today=YAY! Dixie needs her water dish outside refilled. I have a bothersome hangnail on my left index finger.

16. Name three drinks you regularly drink: Water, coffee, and diet Mountain Dew.

17. Current worry? I need to change my dang pump site tonight and don’t want to.

18. Current hate right now? I hate getting a regular soda in a drive through and not noticing it until I’m down the road. I hate changing my pump site even more than that.

19. Favorite place to be? BWCA.

20. How did you bring in the new year? graciously.

21. Someplace you’d like to go? Greece. But I hate to fly. Maybe Quebec.

22. Name three people who will complete this. huh?

23. Do you own slippers? Actually I do have some but I never wear them. I like fuzzy socks more than slippers.

24. What color shirt are you wearing? Red sweatshirt.

25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? I don’t think that I have ever tried. I’m guessing I wouldn’t like them.

26. Can you whistle? Yes, and both on inspiration and expiration.

27. Where are you now? Sitting on a recliner in the living room at my house.

28. Would you be a pirate? No way. My quarters would be too small and my “bunkmate” would probably snore like crazy.

29. What songs do you sing in the shower? I’m not a shower singer. Sometimes I hum.

30. Favorite Girl’s Name? Kaylee

31. Favorite boy’s name? Samuel.

32. What is in your pocket right now? An insulin pump.

33. Last thing that made you laugh? A radio show I was listening to in the car.

34. What vehicle do you drive? A Subaru Forester

35. Worst injury you’ve ever had? Broke my left leg when I was 14. That meant that I was in a cast for about 4 months. But... this part summer with a herniated disc was, perhaps, the worst lingering, "make me crazy as a hoot owl" pain I've ever experienced.

36. Do you love where you live? Totally. It's exactly where I've always wanted to be.

37. How many TVs do you have in your house? Two.

38. How many computers do you have in your house? Two. Does an Iphone count as a computer?

39. If you changed your job, what would it be? Canoe trip outfitter and guide.

40. If you were granted three wishes, what would they be? Peace for friends, Happiness for my family, and that Dixie would live as long as I do.

Happy D-blog day!

2009-11-09T17:09:00.004-06:00

Happy D-blog day everybody!

I started blogging a couple of years ago. I had been reading a number of blogs, and decided to start up my own. Mostly it was to share information about Dixie. At least, that's what I thought.

I do blog about Dixie. About how she alerts me when my blood sugar is out of range. How she alerts others when they are out of range. :-) And... I post pictures of her. After all, she is a very cute, black dog. Especially when she wears her fancy hot pink bowtie.

I also blog about MY diabetes. My frustrations and anxiety. My accomplishments. And I can't help but smile when someone comments on my post and I know that they really understand what it's like to live with diabetes, day in and day out.

I've been fortunate to meet some local d-bloggers. (and an out of towner d-blogger!)

I've lived with diabetes for the last 34 years. I've seen a lot of change in the treatment. I've lived through some out of range A1c's and some kick butt A1c's. I've lived through DKA, severe hypoglycemia (have I ever shared the story of biting a hole through my tongue during a particularly bad reaction.?? Gross, but it was cool to be able to stick noodles through the hole and gross all my friends out in junior high school), thousands of pokes, and more wild ass guesses estimating carbs than one would believe is possible.

I've survived.

It's fun to survive when I have support from a great online community.

Keep blogging! Stick together. None of us can do this alone.

Happy Halloween, Dixie style

2009-10-30T11:24:00.002-05:00

Happy Halloween everyone!

My invisible illness

2009-09-19T14:09:00.004-05:00

30 Things About My Invisible Illness You May Not Know.

1. The illness I live with is: Type 1 diabetes

2. I was diagnosed with it in the year: 1975

3. But I had symptoms since: I actually didn't have symptoms. I went in to the doctor for my first grade check up and they did a random whiz quiz. I had some sugar in my urine, so I was sent to Children's Hospital for a blood test. I didn't start taking insulin until about 2 months after my diagnosis.

4. The biggest adjustment I've had to make is: My entire life had been a series of adjustments.

5. Most people assume: that I am mostly healthy. Which is true.

6. The hardest part about mornings are: Waking up and getting out of bed. I hate mornings.

7. My favorite medical TV show is: House. I used to be a big ER fan.

8. A gadget I couldn't live without is: My blood testing meter.

9. The hardest part about nights are: Getting organized for work the next morning.

10. Each day I take 2 pills & some vitamins: I've been figuring out how much vitamin D to take, because my levels are constantly low.

11. Regarding alternative treatments: I don't use alternative treatments to treat my Type 1, but use a variety of alternative treatments for other reasons.

12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose: Neither. Both choices suck.

13. Regarding working and career: I work. I need health insurance to pay for my diabetes.

14. People would be surprised to know: That I hate injections and have a very low pain tolerance.

15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been: I was diagnosed when I was 6 years old. This is my reality. I don't remember any other way of life. I can say that it's a heck of a lot easier having diabetes with the technology/information that's available now versus when I was a kid.

16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was: I've never believed that I couldn't do something because of my diabetes.

17. The commercials about my illness: are few and far between, and are usually targeted to people with Type 2 diabetes.

18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is: Yeah, again, I don't remember anything pre diabetes. I miss not having flexibility in my life. I wish I could be more spontaneous.

19. It was really hard to have to give up: Um.... candy at Halloween as a child.

20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: So this question seems to be geared to people who were diagnosed a whole lot later in life. I have taken up blogging in the last couple years.

21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would: Have a day of unplanned freedom. I would take off without spare supplies, a meter, etc.

22. My illness has taught me: To persevere.

23. One thing people say that gets under my skin is: "Oh, you have a service dog? Your diabetes must be brittle."

24. But I love it when people: Recognize the time, effort, and energy I put into my diabetes management.

25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is: Giddy up.

26. When someone is diagnosed I'd like to tell them: That they can live a good life with diabetes. Diabetes doesn't have to define them.

27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is: How resilient I am. I've also learned and experienced the ability dogs have to help manage diabetes.

28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn't feeling well was: cover for me so that I could go home and crash.

29. I'm involved with Invisible Illness Week because: I have diabetes and I've been telling people about the significance of this week.

30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel: Super. Thanks for asking. :-)

Gotcha!

2009-08-07T10:06:00.010-05:00

(first pictures of Dixie on August, 7 2005)

Today is Dixie’s “gotcha day.”

What is a “gotcha day” you ask? I didn’t come up with it. I used to work with a little boy who was adopted. Every year, his parents would celebrate the day that they got him. Hence, the term “gotcha day.”

Four years ago today I was in Jud, North Dakota. I had traveled there the previous day and had moved into the little house where I would live for three weeks while I trained. I remember the day I met Dixie. It was hot and humid. I woke early so that I could shower, have breakfast, and check internet before I needed to be at the training facility. (which was about 20 yards away) I was so nervous.

I finally walked over to the office and met the training staff. They had me work with a couple of different dogs. I practiced having the dogs heel while I walked around the room. This went on for about 1/2 hour. Then they brought out Dixie. She was so much smaller than all the other dogs. I asked if she was a puppy, and they told me that she was nearly two years old. The other dogs that I had been with were all around 80-100 pounders. Dixie was much smaller...only around 40 pounds. We walked around the room, with her heeling at my side.

I was sent to an office to sit and watch a short video about dog training principles. The trainer had instructed me to carry my tester with me all the time, and to test if Dixie did anything “unusual.” She stayed next to me on the floor while the t.v. played. About 15 minutes into it, she sat up and started pawing me. I whipped out my tester and rang in at 62. I ran out and told the trainers. They rewarded Dixie, and I got out some fruit snacks to cover the low.

Around noon, they called a lunch break. Dixie was taken back to her kennel, and I went to my “house” for lunch. After lunch, Dixie was brought back out to me, and we practiced heeling through the streets of Jud. I asked the trainer if Dixie was my “primary candidate.” (Before I came, I was told that a dog would be selected for me. That dog would be my primary candidate. They would also have some secondary candidates, in case the primary candidate didn’t work out.) The trainer told me yes. I was excited. Now I knew that Dixie would most likely be mine. We went back to the training facility and they gave me supplies so that I could take Dixie back to the house with me. They gave me dog food, bowls, toys, and treats.

At the end of that first day I was exhausted. Dixie and I crashed on the couch. I took the first pictures of her and emailed them to all my friends. It finally felt real.

That was four years ago. Before that, I struggled with identifying my own lows. I had to rely on friends, family, and colleagues to help me know when I was low. Usually by the time they realized it, I was really low. Numbers in the 20s, 30s, and 40s were common.

Those days are gone.

Dixie knows I am dropping before my numbers get that low. At my endo appointments the last couple years, my doctor is amazed at my numbers. She used to circle numbers in the 20s, 30s, and 40s to track and try to understand. She doesn’t need to do that anymore. I am rarely that low. My A1c’s have dropped into the upper 5 range for the last year. That is without constant lows.

My life is complete with Dixie. She is a gift.

Thank you, Great Plains, for training Dixie and giving her to me.

Thank you, Dixie, for all your hard work. Happy Gotcha Day buddy!!

Pain

2009-07-10T15:19:00.003-05:00

Pain. It’s been controlling my life for the last two months. I haven’t been able to do much of anything except work on finding comfortable positions and taking pain pills.

Let me start by saying that I will admit to having a very low pain tolerance. I’m a whimp when it comes to things that hurt. Blood draws cause anxiety, paper cuts can require neosporin and bandaids, and pump site changes require some serious mind over matter.

About two months ago I was exercising. I was lifting weights, and decided to “add in” some time on the elliptical trainer between sets. I didn’t have any shoes on, but didn’t stop and think that might lead to a problem. Which it did. I fell off the trainer and felt a muscle twinge in my right leg. I had pulled my hamstring. I took advil and babied it for about 10 days. Then it seemed to be feeling better. I didn’t think about it. Until 3 weeks ago. I started having serious pain in my hamstring, specifically in the places where it attaches to my pelvis and behind by knee. I was taking advil in mass doses, but it just seemed to get worse and worse.

I am not a fan of western medicine. I don’t have a “primary care doctor.” I see my endocrinologist twice a year, and she has agreed to do the things that a primary care doctor would manage. (cholesterol check, liver enzymes, etc.) I’m lucky that I don’t get sick very often. If I do have an infection I generally just go to urgent care, get some meds, and go on.

I have a large circle of friends who practice alternative medicine. When my leg was really hurting I had someone kinesio-tape my leg. I had several sessions of mayofacial release. I took epsom baths. I increased some vitamins. I had some relief from all of those strategies, but not enough. I was nervous about seeing an MD. I was convinced that my problem was just a pulled muscle and low pain tolerance. I hate going to urgent care because I usually get the “oh.... you have diabetes. Your problem is because of that.”

Two weeks ago I dragged myself to urgent care. The doctor pulls up my records and says, “Oh, you have diabetes and have had it for a long time. Do you take insulin?” Um, yeah.. I have type 1. She asks if I took insulin this week. Crap. This week?!?! My pump probably gave me some basal insulin 30 seconds ago, lady! Then she asks if I test my blood sugar. Again I say yes. She asks if I’ve checked this week. Argh. (see my frustration with western medicine?) Now let me also share that I am standing in the room, and she has my chart pulled up on her computer. The first paragraph at the top (which I eavesdropped and read while she was reading it) says, “excellent controlled type 1 diabetes.” Seems stupid that she asked those diabetes questions with that information kind of information about me.

This doctor decides that I need a Doppler study to rule out a blood clot and cyst behind my knee. Of course, they don’t do that at the clinic, so I need to drive over to the hospital to have it done. They do the study and the doctor calls me on the phone in the lobby. She says the tests were negative and she would prescribe narcotics and physical therapy. Later that afternoon the scheduler calls with two PT appointments.

For the record, my clinic is about 50 minutes away from my house. There is another branch that is about 40 minutes away. I choose to do the PT there.

I show up for my first appointment. The PT has no idea why I’m in so much pain. He works on my for 30 minutes and then tells me to come back tomorrow so that he can do more evaluation. I do. He is still perplexed.

On Monday I called the orthopedic department. They offered me an appointment on Tuesday. I went in. The doctor thought that I had tendonOsis. Apparently that is tendonitis that has stopped healing. He sent me for an MRI. I did that on Tuesday night. Wednesday, I saw him. He said that I had swelling in my bursa where the hamstring attaches, consistent with tendonitis. The treatment for tendonitis is large doses of prednisone. Not great for someone with diabetes. Even worse for someone who is allergic to insulin and will have to take lots of it to manage the increased blood sugars from the prednisone. He was concerned the tendonitis diagnosis didn’t explain all my pain. So he sent me to another MRI for my lumbar region.

I had that done yesterday afternoon. Turns out that I have a herniated disc. (or is it spelled “disk” ... ?) The tech brings me back to a room and says that the neurosurgeon is going to give me a spinal epidural shot to relieve the pain and hopefully help the disc/disk to heal on its own.

Have you ever had a shot in your spine?!?!? It hurts. A lot. It also is a steroid shot so it does crazy things to blood sugars.

I’m feeling less painful today. I guess it was worth it.

I’m supposed to being heading to Canada in less than three weeks for a canoe trip in the Quetico Provincial Park.

I’m hope that my body starts healing now.

I'm afraid of living with chronic pain.

Update and answers

2009-02-20T18:16:00.004-06:00

(This is Dixie alerting. First, she pushes against me. If I don't respond she hits with her paw and stares at me until I test and treat.)

It’s been a fast-moving last month.

My insulin pump was part of a recall. Not for a big issue, just a little technical error when an extended bolus was given. I was sent two replacement pumps--one for my current pump and one for my old pump that is out of warranty. I have to transfer my settings by hand, because I use a Mac, and the software only works on PCs. I had the new pumps sitting around for a couple days waiting to be programmed. Finally, I decided it was time. I programmed both, and put one back in the closet as a back up. I hooked up to the new one, and sent the recalled ones back to Smith.

Two days later, I was eating a higher carb meal. I bolused, and started eating. I was watching an old ER rerun at the time, and kept wondering why there was a high pitched noise coming from the show. Finally I realized that the noise was coming from my pump. I took it out of my pocket and it was squealing and had the message “depleted battery.” I knew something was fishy because I had just put a new battery in when I started using it two days earlier. I replaced the battery and continued the bolus. I got another error message (occlusion alarm) and knew that this pump was on the fritz. I quickly got out the “backup” one that I had programmed and hooked up to that one. I called Smith and the technical support had me go through the history. She finally said, “yeah, it’s broken. We’ll send you another one.” I was thankful to have a backup ready to use. Having to go back to shots is really crippling.

I got a Wii Fit. It’s been fun playing with it. Although it’s a little humbling to have a Mii (the little character that you design to represent yourself) on the t.v. become plumpy after the Fit weighs. Your character starts out as stick thin, then plumps out after it calculates your weight/BMI.

Lately, I’ve been getting a slurry of emails, etc requesting information about Dixie and diabetes alert service dogs. I’m posting this as a review, in case new readers are reading this:

1. Dixie is my diabetes alert service dog. She alerts me when I’m low, high, or moving out of range. The longer we’ve been together, the smaller her “range” is. (she’s really happiest if my blood sugar is between 85-110. Heck, so am I!)

2. I got Dixie because I have had significant hypoglycemia unawareness since the day I was diagnosed. Even as a little, newly diagnosed child I was unable to tell when I was low. I have struggled with overnight hypoglycemia. I don't wake up on my own if I'm low. I was relying on friends and family to "alert" me when I was low. It was frustrating and embarrassing.

3. I don't test less because I have Dixie. Actually, I probably test more.

4. Dixie was trained at Great Plains Assistance Dog Foundation located in Jud, North Dakota. I spent three weeks at the facility training with Dixie. And no, she wasn’t trained using “scent training” techniques. (as some places use) She alerted me the first day that I worked with her, I praised her, and it was as if a light bulb immediately went off in her head. “AH, you want me to tell you that!” She didn’t alert 100% of the time for several months. It takes time (and experience) to master a job. That’s why it’s important for Dixie to be with me all (most) of the time. She is amazing at her job because she is around me all the time. I’m guessing that she wouldn’t be as skilled if I just “used” her overnight and didn’t take her with me to work, etc.

5. Dixie had to pass a “public access” exam before I could leave Great Plains. This test allows her to have access to public places. (she passed with flying colors, by the way) This means that Dixie can go everywhere with me...stores, school, haircuts, businesses, etc. She has flown with me on airplanes, and traveled in the Boundary Waters Canoe Area in a canoe with me.

6. Dixie cost $15,000 dollars. The school district that I work for did a large fundraiser for me, in addition to some money I got from my older sister. I was able to pay the amount in full. Scholarships, etc are available, but I didn’t need one because of the fund raising. Some service dog organizations (especially ones with major corporate sponsorship/funding) provide service dogs at no cost to the recipient. This seems to be a point of controversy in some of the comments/emails I get from people. Some believe that all service dogs should be free. Some think that $15,000 is excessive. Most wonder how I was able to pay that amount.

A service dog isn’t for everyone. But it was worth it for me and I would do it again in a heartbeat.

7. My life has changed because of Dixie. My A1c is the lowest it’s ever been, with minimal fluctuations and no severe lows. She’s a great dog.

I know that many people are interested in diabetes alert service dogs, and it's often hard to find information. Before I got Dixie, I googled, etc looking for information. There was little out there to read. I'm hoping that for people investigating now, there's more out there. I've answered some of the most common questions that I get. Feel free to ask away if you have others.

Who is that handsome couple?!

2009-01-17T17:08:00.004-06:00

Well it's Scott and Dixie, of course.

We were at today's MN O.C. meet up this morning. A few of us locals got together at Caribou for hot beverages and chatting. The hot beverages were important, as we had spent the last 86 hours below zero degrees.

I find it interesting that I can meet new people who are living with diabetes, and feel like I've known them for a long time. Two of the people at the meet up today I met for the first time. A couple minutes into a conversation and I felt completely comfortable and as if we went "way back."

Scott and I have been at two O.C. meet ups in the last year together. I read his blog, and we occasionally exchange an email. I feel like I've known the guy since elementary school.

Is it because we speak the same language? (the d-chat, that is) Is it because we both wear pumps and are working to figure out how to just eat 15 carbs for a low and wait? Is it our love for diet pop? I'm guessing it's probably all of it.

Diabetes just brings us together.

If you haven't met up with other diabetes O.C. friends yet... I strongly encourage you to give it a try.

Individually, we all live separate lives. But together, we understand the big part (diabetes) that complicates it. We can learn from each other. We can support each other.

And... if you come to an O.C. get together that I'm at... you can get YOUR picture taken with Dixie. (but bring your tester, because Dixie will alert you if you aren't in the range she likes! :-)

Thanks, my new (and old) friends. It was fun.

More cold

2009-01-13T08:16:00.002-06:00

Today isn't really a fun day to live in Minnesota.

It's cold. We had a major snowfall last night. The commute is painfully slow, the roads are icy and many aren't plowed.

And... in school today it will be indoor recess.

UGH.

I guess the good news is that tomorrow it could get above zero. I think the projected high temperature is 5.

When's the last time you were excited about a high temperature of 5??

A NEW TOY for Dixie!

2009-01-09T12:25:00.006-06:00

Yesterday when Dixie and I got home from school, there was a package in the mailbox addressed to Dixie.

We went in the house and opened it right away. Here is what was inside:

A while ago, I had posted that Dixie's favorite "go to" toy was broken. It didn't make the noise when it was squeezed. ("Merry Christmas, woof, woof!") She kept bringing it to me as if saying, "please fix it." I sent a picture of it to people all over the US.

Lucky for Dixie, my mom's friend's daughter living in California found a replacement at Walgreens. She bought it and brought it home. She called her mom who told her to go back to Walgreens and get more. When she did, all the Christmas things were gone.

Dixie carried the new toy around with her for an hour after we got home. When it was time for her to eat her dinner, she set the new toy by her dish and ate. When she was done eating she picked it back up.

Thanks, Janie. Dixie couldn't be more thrilled!

Seriously Cold

2008-12-22T09:13:00.002-06:00

If you're having a hard time reading that temperature... it's -10 below zero. The wind chill is -25. It's so cold that Dixie had to wear her fleece coat today.

That was the temperature as I was driving to school this morning. Yep... driving to school. Here in Minnesota, we don't cancel school for a paltry -10. Heck, we don't even start late. We just get on with business.

Stay warm!

It's been a busy December

2008-12-19T20:50:00.002-06:00

Whew. It's been a crazy month.

I have given up on quick sets. I used them for about 10 years without issues. Then, in the last 5 months I’ve had many kinked sets and problems with quick serters. I’ve been exploring other infusion sets. I’m really quite a whimp about trying new things--especially diabetes stuff.

I contacted Smith medical and got some free Cleo samples. I nervously inserted the first one last weekend. Cleo’s don’t have a spring loaded inserter. I did it. It wasn’t so bad. I did it a second time. It was o.k. I started thinking how convenient it would be to bring Cleo’s on my wilderness camping/canoeing adventures. Today I received some Inset samples, and plan on trying them before I decide what infusion set I want to make my “regular.” Anyone have any experience with either Cleos or Insets?

It’s amazing how difficult it has been to make new motor patterns. I have been using quick sets for so long, that it was hard to grasp the new way to disconnect the Cleo. Instead of being mindless, I had to think about it each time that I disconnected and reconnected.

A woman that I work with has Type 1 diabetes. She is in her mid fifties, and has had diabetes for forty-plus years. She just found out that she has stage 5 end stage renal disease. Her kidney function is at 9%. According to her, she has two months to find a donor kidney for transplantation before she will be forced to dialyze.

I’m sad for her. It’s a frightening position to be in.

I’m sad that my colleagues believe that kidney failure is inevitable when you have diabetes and beyond control, and that I can expect the same thing to happen to me.

Work has been busy.

I’m not done shopping for the holidays.

There’s a significant winter storm heading my way. Tons of snow, and then cold wind to blow the snow around.

I’m tired and ready for Christmas vacation. Two days of school left and then I’m off for 12 days.

World Diabetes Day, Dixie style

2008-11-14T11:14:00.003-06:00

She may be tired, but she is wearing blue today in honor of World Diabetes Day.

Hey, who says you can't take a stand while lying down? :-)

Site after site, after site, after site....

2008-11-12T18:28:00.002-06:00

I usually change my pump sites at night right before I go to bed. I know, I know.. how can I check my blood sugar a couple hours later when I’m fast asleep?

It works for me.

A while ago I read (I think on Scott J’s blog) how he turned up his basal rate when he put in a new set. Reading that changed my life. Seriously. I started changing at night and turning up my basal rate to 150% for three hours. I didn’t have to deal with not eating carbs. I put it in, turn it up, and go to sleep, usually waking with a respectable number.

On Sunday my site was really sore in the morning. (probably because it had been in for about 5 or 6 days!) I decided that I would have to change it right then. Definitely not my favorite time to do it. I changed it and turned the rate up. I was in a meeting all day, and didn’t really eat much. I tested often, and hovered around the high hundreds. I had left the old site in, and used it to bolus for carbs. Dixie alerted everyone in the group all day. There were a couple people I didn’t know well, so I thought maybe they had a metabolic problem. (Dixie is sensitive to other metabolic problems as well as diabetes) The meeting wrapped up at 5ish, and we decided to go out for dinner. I was still hovering just under 200.

We went to dinner and I wasn’t feeling great throughout the meal. I ate about 1/3 of my meal and had a beer. By the time I got home, I was really feeling awful. (I had left Dixie at home since it was a crazy day) I tested and was 280! I decided that my site must be kinked. I pulled it out and found it to be majorly kinked.

Here’s what I don’t understand. I bolused and had basal insulin all day. The site wasn’t wet. Where does the insulin go?? It certainly didn’t go in me! Argh.

I put a new site in and monitored the rest of the night. I came down a little, but not much. Before bed I gave a giant bolus. I woke up around 2am. I felt MISERABLE! Cotton mouth, heartburn (which I always get if my b.s. is over 150), and very nauseated. I tested. 352! I pulled the set out. Kinked again. I put another one in (are you counting?? This is the 3rd one now). I tried to prime the cannula and got an “occlusion” alarm. WTF?!?! I tore the site out and it was kinked. I decided that maybe my quick serter was not working. I found another one and put a site in. (#4) Tried to prime the cannula, and “occlusion” alarm again. I ripped this site out and it was fine. CRAP! I finally had a good site and now I pulled it out. I opened a new box of quick sets and inserted again. (#5) I found a syringe and gave a whopping bolus to cover the high and the hours without insulin.

Then I puked my guts out.

I am very sensitive to high blood sugars. I will always throw up if I am over 300.

I decided that I couldn’t work in the morning. It was now 3:45 in the morning. I grabbed my computer and logged on to the substitute website. I got a sub, and then spent the next ½ hour typing up sub plans to email to my teaching partner. (so she could give them to whatever sub showed up)

I finally got back in bed around 4:30. I tried to go back to sleep. I also had a bad cold, and so whenever I laid flat, I started coughing. I finally fell asleep sometime after 6am.

At 8am, Dixie alerted. I was 29. Clearly the site was working. I had 2 gu’s and 2 juice boxes and got up. I made my way to the couch and spent the day there.

I had a little breakfast, but not much else during the day. My blood sugars hovered in the high hundreds, low 200s. I figured I was sick and needing more insulin. I turned my rate up. Around 2 I had some cereal, and bolused for it. Two hours later when I checked I was 250.

Yep, you guessed it. Another hour later and no reaction to the correction, I whipped out yet another kinked site. I gave up on stomach sites and used another inserter to put it in my hip. (#6)

Finally, around 6pm, my blood sugars stabilized. The site was working. Dixie was wiped out. She spent the entire day with her head on my lap.

I remember doing 6 changed, but there were wrappers for 9 sites in the trash last night when I counted them.

All I could think of during this unexplainable ordeal is what if this had happened when I was camping in the wilderness. I wouldn’t have had nine sets with me. I would have been really screwed.

I will be sending the box of sets that are left to minimed. Clearly, there’s a problem with them.

I will remember that inserting devices, like lancet devices, eventually wear out and need to be replaced. My Quick serters are probably all about 4-6 years old.

Dam diabetes. On Sunday and Monday, it really sucked.

D-blog day!

2008-11-09T10:32:00.004-06:00

Happy D-Blog Day!

The diabetes O.C. is an amazing community. I have learned many things, and have had "yeah, me too!!!" moments over and over again. It's nice to have a group of people to go to when I need questions answered or support to keep trying.

Thanks, everyone! Keep on blogging.

Molly and Dixie (that's her new school picture above)

Happy Halloween!

2008-10-31T10:38:00.004-05:00

Ah, Halloween in an elementary school. Dixie had to wear a costume! She is a dinosaur with a caveman riding on her back. She actually doesn't mind it much at all.

Happy Halloween, everyone!

Sad Dixie...

2008-10-18T20:36:00.006-05:00

Dixie is a sad dog.

Her favorite toy, a plush Christmas ornament, has stopped working.

It was a Christmas gift last year, and she immediately took a liking to it. Actually, she took a "loving" to it. The ornament is a little white dog with a Santa hat. When the shoulders were squeezed, the cheeks lit up red and it said, "Merry Christmas, Ruff-Ruff!" Dixie would gently bite it and it would say that line. She loved hearing it. It was her go-to toy.

Unfortunately, the dog won't talk anymore. It's cheeks still light up, but the sound is gone. Dixie keeps bringing it to me as if saying, "please fix this." She's moping around.

I've been looking at stores all over trying to find a replacement, but haven't been successful. Fortunately there are holiday type items showing up in stores now, so I'll be keeping an eye out for a replacement.

Poor Dixie. It sucks when your toys break.

Chicago Marathon

2008-10-11T20:11:00.003-05:00

My sister is running in the Chicago Marathon tomorrow.

She is running to cure diabetes.

She told me that "I am going to pull through the hard parts because you pull through the hard parts."

Go get 'em B!

I love you and am proud to have you on my side.

BWCA weekend - hanging around

2008-09-02T20:21:00.008-05:00

School has started. The kids came today. I'm busy with meetings, schedules, and kids.

I spent the weekend in the BWCA. I wanted one last hurrah before starting school. I got up at 4am on Friday morning and made the trek to Ely. Picked up my permit at the ranger station, and hit highway 1 to Tomahawk Trail. About 1/2 hour later I was at the Bog Lake entry point.

Bog Lake is a funny entry point. (in the BWCA, there are official entry points. You have to have a permit that allows you to enter at the specified lake on the specified day. Most entry points have many trip options leading from them. Many lakes connected by portage trails.) Bog Lake is completely land-locked. There isn't anywhere to go once you're on that lake. I think it's perfect for a weekend getaway. It's a mile portage (path) from the parking lot to the lake. Then it's a mile paddle on the lake to one of the three designated campsites. (campsites are designated by an official forest service fire grate and a latrine. (a plastic stool set over a hole that was dug by the forest service)

The weather was beautiful on Friday morning. Sunny and blue skies. The portage was a little more rugged than when I was there last year. Although it's a mostly flat trail, it was pretty overgrown this year. (here's a picture at the start of the portage. Dixie and Ella are leading the way!)

We made it to the campsite around 1pm. Put up the tent, and then hung hammocks. I spent the day reading a good book - "Merle's Door" and soaking in the sun.

Saturday was much of the same. After breakfast (a delicious dehydrated biscuits and gravy), my blood sugar spiked more than I would expect. I decided that my pump site was a little old, and decided to change my quick set. I had brought two sets along, and went into the tent to prime one and use the quick serter to inject it. I wiped with alcohol and injected. It felt funny. It was an old inserter that I happened to grab from my stash. I didn't think more about it. I gave an injection to correct for the high. I tested for the next couple hours. (158, 118, 109, 115) Things seemed good. Around dinner, I started to feel crappy. I tested and was high. (280!) I checked the pump site and it was wet. I had a dilemma.

I had one infusion set left. I was in the middle of the woods, and my quick serter was trash. After a small panic set in, I decided that I would need to manually inject my quick set. I have only manually inserted one other time. It was long ago. If I didn't get it in, I would be reliant on shots of humalog for the next 15 hours. That means getting up every two hours all night and giving shots. (reminder that I'm allergic to insulin, and I don't do well with long acting. Lantus can't be mixed with dexamethasone, so that's out. I'm pump dependent)

I finally did it. I pushed the darn thing in with all the force I could muster. My stomach hurt for hours afterwards. I tested all night. It worked. I successfully manually inserted.

It's crazy how diabetes can creep around, and get you when you least expect it. I thought I was really prepared. I would only be in the woods for 3 days. I had two extra infusion sets and a quick serter. I had syringes and insulin. I bring that stuff "just in case." But I never really think there will be an "in case."

I hate when there is.

Fortunately, the beauty of the BWCA helps me forget. Check out the color of the sky. I took this picture while laying in my hammock. (what a brilliant shade of blue!)

Dixie and Ella both came along. For them, it was paradise. They took hikes, laid in the sun, and drank from the lake. (Ella is so happy she is smiling in this picture! -- at least it looks like that!)

For me (and Dixie) the summer is over. It's work time.

Even though there was a diabetes mishap, I'm glad that I spent my last summer weekend in a place I love.

Happy D-versary!

2008-08-15T15:16:00.003-05:00

33 years ago today, my mom took that picture of me. I was at Children's Hospital after being diagnosed with diabetes. (and I don't have a scanner, so I just took and picture of the picture...)

I was diagnosed by accident. I was at the doctor for a run of the mill check up for my entrance to first grade. They did a random urine test, and then told my mom that she would have to take me to the hospital to have blood taken to confirm the diagnosis. That's why I don't look like a skinny, sick kid in the picture.

Today, I am proud to have lived well for 33 years with diabetes. I'm proud that even after all these year, I find the motivation to keep in good control. (at least, most of the time! ;-) Today is the day that I remember my accomplishments, and forget my mistakes.

Tonight, Dixie and I will celebrate like I always do. With cake and beer.

Cheers!

Dam diabetes

2008-08-14T16:48:00.004-05:00

I had a hell of an early morning.

I got up at 3:30 am (Dixie was pawing at me) and felt horrible! Tested and was 371. I am flabbergasted! I rarely am even above 200. I check ketones and they are large. I must not have been getting insulin for a couple hours. My infusion set was wet, so I knew that it must be kinked. I wasn't getting any insulin.

I changed the site, and then my pump gave me an "occluded" alarm. I tried clearing it and continuing to prime the line. I thought maybe the new site was kinked. I pulled it out. It was straight and perfect. I couldn't get the pump to deliver any insulin. I tried attaching a new line of tubing to it. Still, it just kept telling me that it was occluded. (sure, now it tells me. wish it would have alarmed hours ago)

I was frustrated with the pump, so I went downstairs to get the box from Smith that had a new pump in it for me. Last week, I noticed that my pump screen had a funny line on it, so I called Smith Medical and they sent me a new one. I hadn't set it up yet. I knew that it would take me a little while to get it up and running. I had to hand program all my personal data.

I decide that I can't wait for the pump. I needed insulin pronto!! I gave a BIG shot of insulin. (which, frankly, I haven't done for years and am glad that I don't do multiple daily injections..it hurts!!) I went back upstairs with my now programmed pump. I put in another infusion set and hooked up to the new pump.

Then I started vomiting. (I am really sensitive to blood sugars over 180) I'm laying on the bathroom floor, waiting for the insulin to kick in. My blood sugar finally starts to come down because of the insulin I took with the syringe. I crawl into bed, shivering, and try to rest. No luck. I have to get up again and vomit. Finally around 5:30am, I fell asleep.

I get up this morning and have a decent blood sugar. A little low--72. I get up and head down to the kitchen to have some powerade. I pull up my shirt to inspect the new pump site. It's wet. I wipe it with my finger and smell it. It's insulin. All the insulin that I took with the syringe must have held me for a couple hours, because I certainly wasn't getting any insulin from the pump.

I go upstairs and put in ANOTHER pump site. (the third one in the last 5 hours) I pull the old one out, and it's KINKED. What the heck??? I don't know if I have a bad batch of sets, or what is the problem.

This has maybe happened to me 6 times in the 15 years I've been pumping. Now it happens two times in one morning.

Now I sit with a new pump site in, wondering if it's kinked too. I have a horrible headache, my muscles hurt from throwing up, and I am really frustrated.

Dixie has been glued to me all day.

Thank goodness I don't work in the summer. I would have called in sick today.

Dam diabetes!

Five point freakin' six!!

2008-07-30T16:01:00.002-05:00

Dixie and I just returned from our summer trip to the Boundary Waters Canoe Area Wilderness. (BWCAW) We had an EXCELLENT time.

It's been a crazy summer. Really, it's been a crazy 2008. Thanks to all of you who sent support my way after my father's accident. He is doing well. His burns are continuing to recover as they should. He is very lucky.

The timing of this year's trip couldn't have come at a better time. I was desperately in need of a break from civilization.

The trip was great. The weather was superb. (highs in the mid 70s, lows in the mid 40s, low 50s) We only had one afternoon of rain. We paddled and portaged through some beautiful places. Dixie loves being in the wilderness as much as I do. The photo above is of Dixie chewing on a stick. She was roughing it too-- she had to find natural toys in the wilderness.

I returned and realized that I had scheduled an appointment with my endocrinologist. (probably before I knew when my BWCAW trip was scheduled) I scrambled with all of my blood testing meters to record three weeks worth of blood sugars to bring with me. It's really quite a site to see. Me sitting in pile of meters and trying to get all the numbers organized. Fortunately, I got it done.

My appointment was at noon today. I filled out the miscellaneous paperwork, and was guided to an exam room by the nurse. I got out my computer to share my results with my endo. While I was waiting for her to come into the room, the nurse appeared and said that she was going to do my A1c with me. This was a surprise. The clinic that I go to still uses the lab to do A1c's. I go there after my appointment to do all the lab work. I asked if I could use my poker to lance my finger. (yes) She collected the drop of blood from my finger and then left the room, telling me that she would return after the results appeared. (approximately 11 minutes)

My endo came in and we went through my records. She told me that the lab there gives lab values that are 5% higher than the rest of the labs in Minnesota. This portable machine would give results more like the rest of the state. (or something like that... she gave a long explanation, but I stopped listening) She said that my result would likely be lower than what it usually has been. (My last several A1c's have been 6.2 or 6.3)

The nurse came back in the room while we were chatting, and said that my A1c was 5.6.

5.6!!!

I was a little shocked. The average on my computer said 103, but it usually is somewhere around that, and my results are always 6.2 or 6.3. Try as I have, I've never been able to crack the 6.0 barrier. When I said that to my endo, she said that I could "...tell my friends that my A1c has probably always been in the 5.5-5.9 range."

She also said that I need to reduce my basal rates (which she had me do in front of her because she knows that I don't like to mess with my basals), and she would like me to shoot for 3 lows per week or less. (low being below 65)

But friends, today is a special day. My first A1c under 6. An average blood sugar around 100.

YES! (happy dance :-)

The start of summer...

2008-06-27T16:42:00.004-05:00

School is out. Time for my summer break. The end of the school year was pretty crazy. I had to say good bye to 14 students in sixth grade who will be moving on to junior high in the fall. A couple of the kids are boys that Dixie "grew up with." Those were the ones that had the hardest time saying good bye to her. (and I had the hardest time saying good bye to them :-(

But it's summer. Everything should be all good, right?

I've had a heck of a last couple weeks. I was working at a week long summer camp for kids with special needs. I came home on Thursday night. I was hot and tired. I had a cocktail and sat on the couch. Then I got a phone call.

The call was from my dad's wife. She was calling to tell me that my dad had been in an accident. He was burned and had smoke inhalation. He was in the process of being transferred from his local hospital to a major medical center's burn unit. It was late. He was intubated. I talked to my dad's cousin, who is his physician. He told me that my dad was unconscious, and not in danger of dying. He said that I should wait until morning to come to the hospital. I had a restless night of sleep, and Dixie and I took off for the hospital early on Friday morning. Seeing him with tubes and wraps was really difficult. The doctors determined that his lungs were functioning alright, and they would extubate him in the afternoon. It was amazing how quickly he "came around" after being unconscious. He spent three days in the burn unit, and then was released and able to go home. He has burns on both hands, his entire right leg, part of his left leg, and spotty burns on his back, nose, cheeks, and bottom lip.

He is very lucky to be alive.

He's healing.

My brother and sister both came to see him from out of town. It was an unfortunate event that brought us together.

My best friend's mom was diagnosed with breast cancer two weeks ago. I went with her to the hospital while her mom had surgery. It turned out the best that it could. The tumor was stage 1, and with radiation, there should be complete elimination of the cancer.

Another good friend's niece, just had a recurrence of cancer. She had surgery this week to remove a tumor on her spine.

My teaching partner's mother just had knee replacement surgery. She has been visiting her for two weeks, and helping to figure out a plan for her homecoming.

I keep thinking... am I getting old and that's why I know so many people who are dealing with horrible medical issues? Or is 2008 just not a great year for my friends and their families??

Diabetes was a pain during my dad's accident crisis. Friday, I went to spend the day at the hospital. After driving the 35 minutes to the hospital, I realized that my cartridge was almost empty. I would only have enough insulin to cover my basal rate for about 9 hours. I didn't have enough extra to bolus for meals. So I skipped breakfast and lunch. It's kinda hard to find low carb/no carb food in a hospital. I drank a couple diet dews, but that was it. I ended up leaving before I wanted to so that I could make it home through traffic to get insulin. Dam diabetes.

Also on the diabetes front... I ordered a free accu-check aviva and multiclix lancing device. I'm not really interested in the meter (because heaven knows I've already got a number of them), but wanted to try to multiclix. I like it. It's kind of refreshing to have a new lancet automatically provided each time I test. I just ordered more replacement cartridges for it.

I also got a mailing from Smith Medical, offering me a Freestyle Navigator at a discounted rate since I use their product. (my trusty Cozmo) Has anyone tried his out yet? I love freestyle products, but still can't really bring myself to having another device to insert in my flesh.

Here's hoping that the rest of the summer is easy sailing. (or canoeing :-)

Happy Birthday Little Bit

2008-06-03T21:24:00.006-05:00

I don't write about her often, but I have another dog.

Her name is Ella, and she just turned 7 years old. She is little, but strong.

Ella is a rat terrier mix. She came into my life when I needed a friend the most.

She was with me to welcome Dixie to my life. She taught Dixie how to live with people.

It's ying-yang. Ella is white, Dixie is black. Ella is little, Dixie is big. They love each other.

Happy Birthday my Little Bit.

Molly's Ten

2008-05-19T11:36:00.005-05:00

Here are the guidelines for this meme:
Once you’ve been tagged, you have to write a blog with 10 weird, random, facts, habits or goals about yourself.
At the end, choose 6 people to be tagged, list their names & why you tagged them. (this is so late, that I'm not doing this.) Don’t forget to leave them a comment saying “You’re it!” & to go read your blog.

1. I love beer. Not crappy, macro-brewed beer, but “good” beer.

2. I chew my nails. Mostly when I’m nervous. I tried putting the bad-tasting polish on them to prevent it, but I end up just licking it off so I can chew my nails.

3. I stole gum from the drugstore when I was about 5 years old. I put it in the back of my big wheel. On the way home, I happily chomped on gum. My mom asked me where the gum was from, and I said “the store.” She made me return all the non-chewed pieces and I had to apologize.

4. My sister gave me a shot for the first time when we were in northern Minnesota at my dad’s class reunion. I had forgotten my BD syringes, and we had to buy some at the store. They only had monoject available, and I just couldn’t handle using it. My parents were leaving, so they asked my sister to just give me my dinner time shot. She was freaked out. She slammed it in my rear end and then pulled it right out because she couldn’t believe that she had put it in. She had to do it again. It was traumatic for both of us.

5. My little brother and I used to love playing with our Snoopy toys together. When we were out shopping with mom, we would use our cupped-hands as Snoopy and say that they were naked.

6. The thought of licking a wooden spoon gives me the heebies. I don’t even like using wooden spoons. It’s my “sensory problem.”

7. Gummy bears are one of my guilty pleasures. I only like certain kinds. I don’t like them if they are too soft, I prefer the ones that are more chewy.

8. If I was a boy, my name was supposed to be Ryan.

9. I have an allergy to most fruit. My mouth swells up and I get sores on my lips and cheeks. I can eat apples, blackberries, and cantelope. That’s it.

10. I love the “Diary of a Wimpy Kid” books. I just finished reading them with a sixth grade group of kids. I laughed as much as the kids did!

DIXIE TIDBIT

Dixie's 5:

1. Dixie loves her new yard.
2. She doesn't like most "people food."
3. Her favorite snack is dried, chicken-wrapped liver.
4. Dixie shakes with her right paw, rarely her left.
5. When Dixie came to me, she weighed 42 pounds. They told me that she was full grown. She now weighs 65 pounds. Hmmmm, don't think she was full grown. :-)

My Late "Not in a book."

2008-05-02T20:50:00.010-05:00

Scott tagged me. Even though it's very late... here is the meme!

Meme:
Five Most Important Pieces of Advice ... You Won't Find in a Book!

Rules:
Post five of the most helpful pieces of diabetes management advice on your blog.

Link to this Wikibetes entry where we will be tallying up all of the great advice. You are welcome to add your advice directly.

Here is what I've learned about diabetes after living with it for the last 32 years.

1. A number is just a number.
It isn't good, it isn't bad. It's just a number that gives information.
This is something that I continue to work on every day. I used to really feel horrible when I would test and see a number that I wasn't expecting, or didn't want. Now, most of the time I look at the number on the meter and talk out loud to myself. "That's just information."

2. Keep trying.
With diabetes, there are good days/moments and bad days/moments. What's really important is to get up each day and keep trying.

3. Be ready and open to learn about diabetes management
When I was in college, I used to believe that I could just coast with diabetes, and didn't need help from doctors, etc because I knew everything. Fortunately, as I matured, I figured out the value of information from others. (doctors, other people with diabetes, etc.) There is always something to learn. It might not be earth shattering (like finding out you could use a baby sock to put your pump inside), but it's important.

4. Be forgiving. Of yourself and others.
It doesn't help to beat yourself up because you "screwed up" with your diabetes management. Same is true from friends and loved ones who offer help.

5. Connect with other people who have diabetes
This is probably the most important thing that I learned. It is important to be connected to people who "walk in your shoes." It's comforting to be able to talk about daily life with diabetes, and not have to explain all the vocabulary. It helps to learn from each other.

Dixie raises her voice! (and her paw)

2008-04-14T10:45:00.004-05:00

It's the day to raise our voices about Type 1 diabetes!
I'm talking with friends today about the differences between Type 1 and Type 2.

Molly needs....

2008-04-10T17:38:00.005-05:00

I saw this meme on Penny's site and it made me laugh, so I thought that I would give it a try too. (I googled Molly+needs and these are the lines that came up) Good timing really. I've been wanting to post, but have been SO BUSY with the move.

Molly needs medical care
Well of course she does. She has dam diabetes. Which has been settling down the last couple of days after battling many lows the last two weeks.

Molly needs a new pair of shoes
O.k. I probably do. Or I need to start gambling so that I can shout out “Molly needs a new pair of shoes!!”

Molly needs a home
Actually I have a new home! The moving process is taking a lot longer than I thought it would. I feel like I will be living out of boxes and looking for things for the rest of my life. This really should say "Molly needs to get off her computer and unpack some boxes in her new home."

Molly needs a title
How about “Your highness” or maybe “She who must be obeyed”

Molly needs a special surgery called a bulla osteotomy
Oooo! That sounds scary! I hate medical procedures, and this sure doesn’t sound like a fun one. I’m thinking that if I really “needed” this special surgery, I would have some symptoms. Thankfully, I don’t. (except diabetes, which I don’t believe requires a bulla osteotomy…)

Molly needs our prayers
Who doesn’t, really? I need you to pray that I unpack the boxes in time to find shorts to wear for the summer. Otherwise, I’m going to look pretty silly laying by the pool with my fleece pants on.

Molly NEEDS our prayers
I guess I need a LOT of prayers in order to find those shorts!

Molly needs a slogan for 3rd grade student council race
The third grade class in my school has some neat kids. I don't think that I have a chance at winning. My slogans would surely be something like, “Vote for Molly. She is really old for a third grader!” Or “Vote Molly. Any third grader with that much gray hair probably knows a few things.”

Molly needs a puppy sitter
I’m just guessing here… but I bet if I really did need a Dixie sitter, there would be at least ONE person from the diabetes OC that would enjoy spending some time with my big, black dog!

Molly needs a haircut
I just got one, but it looks horrible. So this really should say, “Molly needs to wear a hat until her hair grows back.”

Molly needs to go here for a slang update
This was probably a suggestion from one of my students. I'm just not sure where "here" is located. (or is that slang for something) If you know, tell me.

Molly needs to diplomatically approach her principal and share her concerns
I guess that says it all. Unfortunately, I’m not always much of a diplomat. But I do have concerns.

Dixie Tidbit

Dixie needs more time in her new backyard and less time at boring old school!
Dixie LOVES her new backyard. When we get home from school, she bounds around the backyard for a good 1/2 hour. She loves country living.

Dixie needs a homeopathic tick prevention product that works
Man, the ticks are already out in full force here in the midwest. I've pulled many off of Dixie, including two deer ticks. (those are the little buggers that transmit Lyme's disease.) Dixie is going to the vet this weekend to get her Lyme's shot. Two years ago I treated Dixie with Frontline, and she got really sick from it. I'm mostly opposed to putting those chemicals on her anyway. She is currently wearing a flea/tick collar, because I don't think that they're quite as toxic... but it's going to be a long summer pulling ticks. Ugh.

Dixie needs a belly rub
She loves a good belly rub. Always.

Dixie, my Dixie

2008-03-27T10:53:00.002-05:00

Kathy, over at MN Nice, tagged me. Here's my six words of the day.

Big, Black Dog. I thank you.

Moving Day

2008-03-15T15:41:00.006-05:00

It's moving day.

Actually, it's the last day of moving. This was the day that the movers and truck came to get all the furniture.

Can you say "exhausted?"

Tonight will be the first night of actually "living" in the new house.

It's exciting.

Dreams come true!

2008-03-06T20:05:00.003-06:00

The story changed.

The house is mine.

Signed and sealed as of an hour ago.

I'm ready to move.

I can't wait. It's amazing.

(squeal!!!!)

Shoot.

2008-02-27T20:46:00.002-06:00

Thanks for all of you who have sent good wishes for the new house.

Unfortunately, the closing today was cancelled.

The seller decided not to sign the closing documents.

It's a long story... but I'll shorten it by saying that a house that is in "short sale" carries many possible risks for the buyer. A lot of money is owed on the house. The seller is motivated by not having to pay back the money. This creates problems for the buyer.

I'm keeping hope that maybe the seller will sign, but realize that it is a pretty remote possibility.

A day that I planned to celebrate, has turned into a day of tears.

More to come, I guess.

New Places

2008-02-26T12:45:00.004-06:00

Life has been crazy.

I bought a new house and am moving. Working a full time job while trying to pack and move has been exhausting.

(That's Ella in the new dining room!)

The official moving happens next weekend.

Dixie has been working overtime. Lots of low, lots of dropping. I think that she's getting a little fed up with me.

Hopefully, the new backyard (that is already fenced in!) will make up for all the chaos.
I had a little eye scare yesterday. On Sunday night, the vision in my left eye was blurry. I thought maybe it was just eye strain or something. I went to bed and when I woke on Monday morning, it seemed better. I arrived at school and noticed that things were blurry again. I kinda freaked out, imagining the worst case scenario. You know--retinopathy, going blind, losing my job, etc. I called the eye doctor and told the nurse about the blurry vision. I "mentioned" that I have diabetes, and BAM, she was able to find an appointment for me that afternoon. I left school a little early and went to the appointment. They checked for everything. In the end, the doctor (who was a jerk) said that I have no retina problems (retinopathy or detachment) or optic nerve problems. He thinks that I have an upper respiratory virus and the swelling in my sinuses, etc is causing the blurred vision. He said that if it isn't better in a week, to come back in to see the vitreous/retina specialist. It doesn't seem quite as bad today, so I'm hopeful it's just the virus theory.

DIXIE TIDBIT
I think that Dixie is finally at her "full" weight. She has been weighing in at around 65 for the last several months, so I think that is her adult weight. When I got her two years ago (at about 15 months old), she was only 45 pounds.
My father went Elk hunting in Idaho (or somewhere like that...) a couple months ago. He shot an elk, and brought home about 250 pounds of meat. I accumulated some of it. I'm not a very adventurous eater, but did try some. It's mostly beefy tasting. I have a lot of it...so I started cooking up some of the more random cuts and giving them to Dixie. SHE LOVES ELK. She's a finicky eater, but Elk is her thing.

Sus-tastic!

2008-01-30T20:01:00.000-06:00

It's cold.

And by "cold" I mean biting cold. The kind that makes your skin hurt when it's exposed.

My day started with a pleasant surprise... A two hour late start for school. That's how cold it was this morning in the Twin Cities. Late start really means that school districts are waiting to see if it will warm up a little so that little children can safely stand at their respective bus stops. If it doesn't, then school is cancelled. If it does, then the day commences- albeit two hours later.

It warmed up. Or at least, the sun was shining.

This was the temperature in my car when I pulled into school this morning.The temperature was -7, but it was the windchill that was the real problem. That was reported as -35 degrees.

That was the start to my day. So chilly that even Dixie had to wear her fleece coat.

It was a crazy day at school. My teaching partner has been out sick this week. Some interesting subs have shown up. Let's just say that I miss her.

I finally wrapped things up and hit the road about 4:45pm tonight. I hopped on the interstate, only to find a virtual parking lot. Apparently a semi had started on fire, and so all lanes were closed and traffic was routed on the shoulder. It took me an hour and forty-five minutes to get home. It normally takes 20 minutes.

I was spent.

I came in the house, dropped my backpack, and went to collect the mail.

There it was....
A special sussy just for me.

Thanks Allison! Snazzy new fleece jammies, and a special collar for Dixie!

What a fun ending to a hard day. :-)

DIXIE TIDBIT:

Just an update... Dixie's tail is better. She's not so leary to ride in the car. Time heals.

Puppy dog tails

2008-01-24T08:10:00.000-06:00

I officially have the crud.

With all the talk of illness around the OC lately, I was bound to catch it! It started on Saturday with a good, old fashioned head cold. Now it’s moved in to my chest, and I have a barky cough. Ugh. Monday was MLK day. The kids had the day off of school, but teachers had a technology workshop. I was able to make it through the morning presentations, but left early to go home and rest on the couch.

Dixie had an unfortunate event happen to her last week. I was ready to go to work in the morning on Thursday. Dixie and I were in the garage. I loaded my backpack (full of a day’s worth of diet mountain dew) and then opened the back door for Dixie to jump in. I shut the door before her tail cleared it. Oh, man…it was like it happened in slow motion. I could see that the door was going to close on her tail, and tried to grab the door. I didn’t get it in time. Dixie cried, and jumped out of the car. I petted her and tried to console her. I told her that it was an accident. She reluctantly got back in the car. Dixie is a back seat rider. But this morning, she slinkered up to the front seat. She stood on the seat and stared at me, as if saying “You IDIOT! Why did you hurt me? Why did you do that to me?!” I petted her and she finally sat down. I looked over at the passenger window. It was covered in blood. Her tail was bleeding. When we got to school I was able to see the owie, and apply gentle pressure to stop the bleeding. Later, I took her outside for our morning break. She rolled in the snow and pranced around happily. When she came inside, I noticed that the entire tip of her tail was bloody. We had to make a quick stop off to the nurse’s office to clean her up. Dixie doesn’t normally like riding in the car anyway. Now it’s an event to coerce her to get in the car. The last couple mornings she has run back to the house (from the garage) in an effort to avoid getting in the car. Poor Dixie.

I finally finished my “secret sussy” project, and will pack it up to mail it this weekend. It’s been a fun project. Thanks for organizing that Amylia and Beth!! What a great idea!

Driving to work this morning, my car thermometer said -15 degrees Fahrenheit. IT IS SO DARN COLD! Even Dixie is moving quicker outside. Apparently it’s supposed to be a balmy 11 degrees later today. Gosh, do you think there will be indoor recess?! I think so.

Brrrr.

The life and times of an amazing dog

2008-01-10T20:22:00.000-06:00

Happy New Year. Late. But it’s still a new year, really…. Just ten days into it after all.

Dixie and I had a wonderful Christmas. We spent time with family. Dixie so loves the “opening presents” part of Christmas. She is so funny to watch. She will be sitting calmly, and sees someone start to open a present. She darts over to them and attempts to get her nose in whatever part of the package or bag that she can. She acts very disappointed if the gift is not a toy for her. As she only got a couple presents, we starting “regifting” some of her old toys—putting them in bags so that she continually had something to open. Nutty dog.

We came back to school last Wednesday after 11 days off. I thought that Dixie’s eye was unusually goopy, and needed to be wiped many times throughout the day. Finally in the afternoon, I called the vet and made an appointment. We went that night, and found out that poor Dixie had conjunctivitis. (doggy pink eye) She had ointment to be applied twice daily. It has finally cleared up after a week on the medicine. (and no, the kids at school didn’t catch it from her because it’s not communicable)

I am hooked up to my new Cozmo. All is well. I got some Isocks from my sister (little socks to put your iPod or iPhone into) , and found that the sock is also the perfect size and shape for my insulin pump. I like having my pump “in” something if I decide to store it in my bra. Otherwise, the plastic on bare skin really bothers me. Diabetes infiltrates even Christmas presents.The longer that Dixie and I are together, the more I appreciate my “furry blood glucose monitor.” (especially after seeing the photo of the CBGM sensor site on Amy’s site! Yikes!) She has gotten very particular about her desired range for my blood sugars. She is alerting if I am over 140, and under 80. She isn’t happy unless I’m in that range. Last night, I ate a low carb meal. (tilapia and a medium sized salad that had lettuce, ½ cup tomatoes, and some cucumbers on it) I decided I should only bolus for 15 g. carbs. I pulled out my pump, and Dixie started hitting me. (as if to say, “I can read your body. You don’t need the bolus dummy!”) I didn’t bolus. An hour later I tested. Blood sugar = 90. See what I mean?!

She is really very skilled.

It’s would be kind of scary.

But it’s not. It’s just really, really cool!

(and she just does it. No big deal to her.)

Dixie Tidbit:
(o.k... this entire post has really been about Dixie :-)
Dixie loves to roll in the snow. Especially when it's hard and crunchy. I'm not sure if she is scratching herself all over, or just enjoying it like kids do when they make snow angels!

Twas the night before Christmas Eve....

2007-12-23T21:02:00.000-06:00

I have my new Cozmo pump!

It came last week, after my insurance company finally agreed to allow me to get a new one since my warranty was up. Cross that off the list of things to press my insurance company for. I was a little sad that I had to change to a different color. This one is dark blue, my old one is more of an aqua blue.

A friend of mine had minor surgery this week. I took her to the outpatient surgery center and was the “responsible driver.” I brought my computer and a book to read. I didn’t get to read a single page. I spent the entire time in a waiting room with other people, who all wanted to sit by Dixie and me and ask all about her. Dixie was, of course, nothing but well behaved and delightful.

I sometimes forget about all of the attention she brings.

I am always pretty happy to talk about Dixie and explain to people about the job that she does. But sometimes I am just in a hurry, and give a short scripted answer. Many people want to tell me about their personal pet that has some unique ability to do something special. Mostly, people just want to share how much they love dogs, and how beautiful they think Dixie looks.

There is something special about the way she looks. The only way I can describe it, is that she is charming. She looks at people with her big, brown eyes, and carries herself with such confidence. It’s hard to ignore her.

I’m now officially on winter break from school. Dixie loves the last week of school. Many kids brought her presents, and she really appreciates all of them. The crinkle of a bag during this season sends her running. She thinks that anything in a small, paper bag is a present for her.

I’m heading to stay with family tomorrow (Christmas Eve). All the presents are wrapped and Dixie’s travel bag is ready to go.

Merry Christmas and happy holidays to everyone. May your blood sugar remain in the average range, and your pump sites stay viable.

Merry Woof-Woof!!

Winter snow and a healthy glow

2007-12-06T19:39:00.000-06:00

It’s been a good week.

It's pretty and white outside. About 7 inches of snow have fallen in the last week. Dixie is thrilled! She loves being outside, tromping in the snow, and making "dog" angels.

I saw my endocrinologist last week. She did all the usual including looking through my logbook (on my computer!) and doing the sensation testing on my feet (passed with flying colors!) She called Dixie my “furry continuous blood glucose monitor.” She also ordered a bunch of labs.

I have mentioned this before. I.hate.to.have.blood.drawn! I seriously abhor it. I get squeamish just thinking about it. But I bravely made my way to the lab and waited for my name to be called. There were many people there, so it took a while. I watched the lab techs to decide which one I hoped would call my name. (I like to scope out the techs and watch their style.) I never get the one I want. But on this day, I saw the one I wanted and started thinking positive thoughts about her calling my name. It happened. Dixie and I followed her to the chair, and she asked me about what Dixie’s job was. I told her and then she said, “Hey, I have diabetes too” and whipped out her pump. She understood my fear, and was so nice about drawing blood. She got it on the first try, which always makes the whole process easier.

Anyway, I digress. I just got my lab results back yesterday. A1c= 6.3. I looked back at my old lab slips for the last 5 years, and that was the only result that wasn’t 6.4. I am pretty happy about it, though I really hoped that (based on my recorded numbers and averages) it would be 6.0. I guess the good news is that my A1c’s have been consistent for the last 5 years.

Other lab news. My endo tested me for a vitamin D deficiency. I asked if she wanted to test for that because she was seeing “symptoms” in me. She just said that it’s more common in people that live in states that have cold, sun-less winters. It’s also more common in people who don’t eat many foods that have high levels of vitamin D, or foods that are fortified with it. I don’t drink milk, don’t eat cereal, and haven’t slurped any cod liver oil lately. The test came back positive for a deficiency. I’ll head to the store this weekend to pick up some. My kidney function is normal. (creatinine and a/c ratio) My GFR is >60 which indicates healthy kidneys. Phew! My endo keeps testing my potassium, and I keep forgetting to ask why. It is always in the normal range—but are people with diabetes more likely to have problems with that? Guess I’ll have to ask next time. My cholesterol was fine, as well as my liver function (ALT). The other thing that she tested for was gluten sensitivity. Lately, I have been feeling icky when I eat a meal with a lot of gluten. I kind of thought that test would come back positive for gluten sensitivity, but it didn’t. I just know that I feel better when I really limit the amount of gluten I consume.

The other good news this week is that my insurance company has finally agreed to cover a new insulin pump! They originally said that they would only cover one (this year, as they report that new pumps are only covered every five years, even though pump warranties are only for four years) if a “catastrophic accident” happened to my current pump. The other way that they would cover it would be if my doctor would tell them that I must have a new (meaning different brand) pump to be in good control. I refused that route. I like my Cozmo, and am not interested in another brand. So all is good. A new pump will be shipped shortly.

A good week.

I’m getting a new pump.

I’m healthy.

It’s almost Holiday break at school.

Yahoo!

Seven

2007-11-20T14:08:00.000-06:00

The Rules:

1. Link to the person’s blog who tagged you. (thanks Colleen! :-)
2. Post these rules on your blog.
3. List seven random and/or weird facts about yourself.
4. Tag seven random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs.
5. Let each person know that they have been tagged by posting a comment on their blog.

MOLLY'S SEVEN:

1. In college, I worked a summer at Deli Express. Making sandwiches on an assembly line is a heck of a lot harder than you would think!

2. Growing up, I was so afraid of dogs. I would get low being around dogs because it was so stressful. Kind of funny to think of that now, since I spend 24/7 with a big, black dog.

3. My dad bought us gerbils when we were young to teach us responsibility. The last set of gerbils we had were three little guys that lived in a cage in the basement. We were supposed to be learning responsibility by feeding, watering, and cleaning the cage. One day I went down to feed them and the gerbils were gone! Apparently it had been a month since I had wandered down there. The gerbils had died. I won’t go into detail, but there was some cannibalism involved.

4. I love diet soda. There isn’t really a time during the day that you won’t see me near one. My favorite kind is diet mountain dew. I’ve been trying to cut back, because of all the bad press about diet soda. But I really don’t like non-fizzy drinks.

5. I was the first female bag girl hired at the grocery store near my childhood home. The uniform was a button up shirt and blue slacks. The manager asked me what my dress shirt size was. (Apparently he forgot that women don’t measure “dress shirts” the same way that men do)

6. I am the middle child in my family. My sister is three years older, and my brother is three years younger.

7. I used to be an assistant coach for a high school girls hockey team. I played hockey as a child (until I left for college) and LOVE the sport. I coached for seven years. I gave it up because it was becoming another full time job, on top of my teaching career.

DIXIE’S SEVEN:

1. Dixie loves furry toys with squeakers in them. She isn’t hard on them either…she is very gentle with even the smallest toys. If they rip, it’s because she likes to play “tug” with a person. The picture above is Dixie with her new toy at school.

2. Dixie’s favorite treat lately is “real chicken breast wrapped around a slice of apple.” (That’s what the package says) They also sell "chicken wrapped around banana" and "chicken wrapped around liver" and she likes those too!

3. She loves presents. The first holiday she celebrated at school, some of my students brought presents for her. She figured out that gift bags=good things. Now, whenever she sees a gift bag, she wags her tail and tries to put her head in the bag. She hasn’t really figured out that some presents aren’t for her.

4. She has a big dog bed at school that we call her “couch.” Kids love to lay in her couch with her for snuggles.

5. Dixie is afraid of paper or plastic bags that have groceries. She hates unpredictable noises and movement. It’s very hard for her to ride in the car after I’ve shopped. She is stressed the entire time. We’re working on some desensitization.

6. She caught and killed a rabbit at school. She was ecstatic. I was mortified.

7. Dixie loves having her low-back scratched. She will turn around and face her back end to people in the hopes that she gets a good scratch.

Dixie and I don’t think that there is anyone left to tag! If you’re reading this and haven’t been tagged “You’re IT!!”

Happy WDD!

2007-11-14T18:28:00.000-06:00

O.k. So as you can tell, I was playing around with blogger today. I know the picture is huge at the top...I'm still trying to figure that out.

I still have not figured out coverage for a replacement pump.

My doctor wrote a letter of medical necessity. I talked to the corporate health benefits people. They told me that there was NO WAY that a replacement would be covered. The only exception would be if my current pump breaks. Then, it would be considered “medically necessary.”

Since I was dealing with the insurance company about the pump situation, I decided to bring up the glucagon issue again. I was transferred between 5 different people. Finally, I talked to the “caseworker” assigned to my claim. (let’s just call her Mrs. Notveryhelpful) I asked why my appeal never was approved. Mrs. N said that she just happened to be working on my claim the day that we talked. (hmmmm, I find that very hard to believe. That would be one hell of a coincidence!) She said that it was rejected. Again, I brought up the fact that it was covered last year. She was surprised by that. She jiggled around on her computer for a couple minutes and then said, “why, you’re right. It was covered last year, and should be covered now. It looks as though your pharmacist just coded it wrong. Tell them to submit it as an emergency kit.” I called the pharmacy and asked them to try resubmitting it as an emergency kit. The pharmacist said that she wasn’t sure how to do that. I gave her Mrs. N’s direct number and told them to call her directly. An hour later I received a call from the pharmacy telling me that the glucagon would be covered and ready for pickup in an hour.

I guess that I missed d blog day. I so love reading blogs of people who share this dam diabetes. And thanks to those of you who reply here, sharing kind words and/or giving me information. ☺

By the way... Happy World Diabetes Day.

The picture above is from last night. I poked my finger to test, and blood came out of an old poke hole. I hate when that happens. It makes me mad that I poked if I could have just squeezed my finger to get a drop. Of course you can see Dixie in the background.

Pump and stuff

2007-11-05T19:30:00.000-06:00

My insulin pump warranty has expired. I have been happy with my Cozmo, so I sent the form to Smith Medical to start the process of getting a new one. I thought it would be simple. Then I got a call from the rep handling my case. It turns out that my insurance company will not cover a new pump for another year.

What. The. Heck.?!?!

Has anyone else had to tackle this battle with their insurance company? I’m not sure if it’s even worth the effort after the glucagon fiasco this summer. The company never ended up covering that.

Dixie and I just spent the weekend in New Mexico, to visit a friend who was celebrating a birthday. The flight went as smoothly as it did when we traveled to Atlanta in June. This trip we flew coach. We sat in the bulkhead seat so we had more room than in a regular seat, but it is still pretty tight traveling with a 60 pound dog. I had an ear infection, so that made the flying part uncomfortable for me. (in addition to my big anxiety about flying anyway!)

Dixie had a great time on Halloween. She ended up just wearing a simple costume. I found a furry green collar that had little stuffed bats sewn on to it. She didn’t mind it, and it looked like a costume. At school, we called her the “bat-mobile.” It made the kids laugh.

I loved Halloween as a kid. I know, I know… it should have been my least favorite holiday celebration. But my mom made it special. I went out trick-or-treating with my friends. When I got home, I turned the candy over to my mom. In exchange, she gave me a basket full of surprises. She would find little toys, cool looking fruit, and lots of sugarless gum and fill the basket with them. I never minded giving up the candy. Some of it was saved, and used for low blood sugars. The rest was given to others. A few neighbors would give me money or pencils—things that were diabetic friendly.

I have an endo appointment in a couple weeks. I'm not sure why I schedule these appointments except to get my prescriptions filled and a lab slip for an A1c. Don't get me wrong... I really like my endo. She listens to me and gives me as much time as I need. Which, to be honest, isn't a lot. I'm a rule follower. I go because I'm supposed to go. I hope for an A1c under 6.0. (most likely isn't happening. A realistic hope is for 6.4 or less.) All these years living with diabetes and going to endo appointments, and I still get worried for weeks before my appointment.

DIXIE TIDBIT:

Dixie really loves looking out the window on the airplane, especially during the taxi part of the flight. This was a problem because I only like to travel in the aisle seat. Fortunately, the man sitting next to the window on the way back LOVED dogs and invited her (after asking for my approval) to put her front paws on his lap and look out of the window. She was in heaven.
Dixie and I met up with a woman that we know in New Mexico who has a service dog that alerts her to sounds. (she is hearing impaired) Dixie had fun meeting up with another working dog! I'm sure that they talked to each other about their jobs--comparing notes. :-)

(The picture above is of Dixie and her new friend. Notice how much harder it is to get a good picture of a black lab, versus a yellow lab!)

October decisions

2007-10-16T16:56:00.000-05:00

My life has been crazy since my last post.

I’m super busy at work. Too many kids, not enough time to help them all.

Here’s what’s on my schedule of things to figure out right now:

1. Dixie needs a Halloween costume for school. Two years ago, she was a clown. Last year, she was a skunk. She doesn’t really like things that attach to her head, as most “dog costumes” in stores seem to require. The skunk costume was perfect—all I had to do was spray some white hairspray on her back. I guess that she could be a zebra and I could spray lines all around her, but the hairspray takes a while to come off, and she’d have lines on her until July. I need an idea for this year. Anyone?

2. My Smith Cozmo pump warranty expired. I got the form filled out to get a new Cozmo, but then I started thinking. The new pump that I get will be mine for four years. That's a long term commitment. Should I be exploring other pump options? I’m not sure how I feel about the Omnipod—it seems so obtrusive. I don’t want a Minimed pump. I know, I know, I could be continuously monitoring my blood sugar with their pump. I just don’t like the company. That leaves Animas and Accucheck as the other major competition. I like my Cozmo. I like Smith Medical as a company. Does that mean that I just get another Cozmo? How do other people choose their pump?

3. I’d like a new job. Working in public schools is depressing. Public schools are broken. It’s becoming darnright impossible to do what’s best for kids. And, what you ask, keeps me tethered to this job?? The health insurance part. I hate diabetes for that.

4. I need to figure out some low carb breakfast options that can be eaten in the car on my way to work. I sleep as late as I possibly can. I shower and dress like a frantic maniac so that I can get out the door. I never “cook” breakfast. I rely on breakfast bars, dry cereal, or other carby items. I don’t like the protein bars. The texture makes me gag. I have found a microwaveable pita and egg sandwich that is pretty low in carbs. (18g) I need some new ideas.

DIXIE TIDBIT:

Dixie and I are starting to work on the “bring me” command. I’d like to teach her to bring me a little bottle of Gatorade when I’m low. She has GU in her vest, but she doesn’t wear her vest at home. I was thinking of putting several little bottle of Gatorade in a basket on the floor. (I can’t use juice boxes because Ella, my rat terrier, would chew them up)

Dixie likes learning new things, so I bet this will happen pretty quickly.

Diabetes Dreams

2007-10-01T14:20:00.001-05:00

Molly’s Top Ten Diabetes fantasies:

Eating a carbohydrate-laden snack without caring what the carb value is, what kind of bolus to give, or when I’ll need to test next to find out if I gave the right amount of insulin.
Taking a shower without a quick set sticking out. And it doesn’t count to take a shower without the quick set because it’s infusion set change day. I want to take a shower not thinking of where to attach it next.
Having pre-filled insulin cartridges. (for you Minimed users—that means filled reservoirs) I get so sick of filling those things up. I always need one filled at the most inconvenient times!
The calluses on my fingertips melt. That way I would be able to use depth setting 1 on all of my lancet devices like all my non-diabetic friends are able to. (when they ask eagerly if they can try testing, and I have to change it to #1 and they bleed profusely. I have it on 3 and barely can get a drop sometimes.)
Not worrying if a pair of pants has pockets on both sides to put my pump in, depending on what side of my body the infusion set is in.
Going on a camping/canoeing trip without having to stash GU packets in every backpack; without having to think which side of my stomach to put the infusion set in so that it won’t rip out when I throw the canoe up over my head; without having to pack excessive food “just in case” I’m low a hundred times; and not having to bring every diabetic supply under the sun. (infusion sets, inserting device, quick acting insulin, syringes, test strips, alcohol swabs, lancets, ketostix, back up blood glucose meter, long acting insulin, and pouches to keep them all waterproof and temperature controlled.)
Being able to take a nap because I’m sleepy without wondering if I’m sleepy because I’m too low or too high, or dropping.
Using the bathroom without thinking about how far I can pull my pants down (with my pump in the pocket of my pants) without pulling my infusion set out, or without having to figure out what acrobatic act I need to do to get my pants down without ripping out the set in the first place.
Drinking whichever soda appeals to me when I go to a convenient store to grab a cold one. There are more choices of diet soda than ever before, but never the kind that looks so good when I’m standing at the case. (…like Tahitian Treat. Man, I’ve always wanted to drink that)
Having a poke free day. No testing, no set changes.

DIXIE TIDBIT:

Dixie’s fantasies:

Molly listens the first time that I alert her, and not 10 minutes from the time I start pawing at her.
More time at the leash free park. Man, I love to run!
Liver. I love liver.
More camping trips. They are so fun.
A bigger back yard. See #2.

Happy Anniversary Camp Needlepoint!

2007-09-25T18:55:00.000-05:00

(Dixie at Camp looking for squirrels)

Saturday was the 50-year anniversary celebration for Camp Needlepoint.

Camp Needlepoint is the ADA- Minnesota camp for kids with diabetes. (don’t laugh at the name. Apparently the other name that was almost selected fifty years ago was Camp Dipstick!) It’s held every summer at Camp St. Croix, in Hudson, Wisconsin the last two weeks in August.

I started going to camp in 1977, and was a camper every summer until 1985. In 1986, I was a counselor in training. In 1987 I became a counselor. In 1993, I became part of the administration staff. Camp was a huge part of my life. I loved it there.

Dixie and I were there for the reunion. My mom came too. We wouldn’t have missed it.

We had a great time catching up with old camp friends, medical personnel, etc. that I hadn’t seen for years.

My mom cried looking at old pictures of my friends and me. She took pictures of us. I shared memories and stories with her. We watched a video of pictures from the last 50 years. She cried during the video—especially when she saw pictures of little me. She would lean over to me and say, “camp changed your life.”

It did. I grew up there.

I gave my first insulin injection in Cabin 7 when I was eight years old. I met other people with diabetes, some who are lifelong friends. I canoed, I camped, I rode a horse (BUT only once because I am afraid of horses. Always have been. I rode the horse once, but had to get off early because my blood sugar was low from being so scared!) and I learned from other kids with diabetes. I wrote letters to friends after camp was over every summer saying “only 380 days until camp!” It was the one-week of the entire year that I was in the majority.

It was an amazing place, and it was special to have been able to be there to celebrate camp and all that it gave to me.

DIXIE TIDBIT:

Dixie was a little confused at camp.
She alerted me many times during the day. Not because I was low, but because someone around me was low.
When we got home, she crashed. I’m sure that, even though the camp part was fun, she was exhausted from keeping tabs on everyone with diabetes. :-)

Weekend chaos

2007-09-17T17:46:00.000-05:00

(Dixie and Ella resting in the BWCA)

I’ve been struggling with my morning blood sugars since I’ve been back at work. That means that for the last three weeks, I have been waking up higher than I like to be. I’ve gradually increased my overnight basal rates, even though I’m not sure why on earth they suddenly need to be increased.

I decided to do middle of the night testing over the weekend to find out where the problem was happening, since I refuse to do it during the workweek and I don’t have a snappy Dex Seven to easily guide me.

I go to bed on Friday night around 11pm. Blood sugar is 112. I wake at 2:30am. Blood sugar is 200ish, but I changed my site before bed and knew that would happen. I give a correction. I decide, in my sleepiness, not to wake up at 4am. Dixie gets me up at 9am and my blood sugar is 48.

Saturday afternoon, I went to lunch at Fuddruckers. (A hamburger joint) I had a burger and fries, and a couple glasses of diet cola. I had tested 82 before lunch, so gave a regular bolus, no correction. Dixie was pestering me all through lunch. I didn’t have a tester with me (argh!) and didn’t feel low, so I just ignored her.

Bad idea.

I did some shopping and then went home. I was feeling horrible. I tested the minute I walked in the door.

328.

WHAT?!. I gave a serious correction. Tested 45 minutes later. 320. What the heck. I checked my infusion set, pump, etc. All seemed fine. My pump site was new. I wasn’t changing it.

Then it came to me. It was the pop at lunch. I KNEW that it wasn’t diet. I drank several glasses. Crap.

At this point I decided to bolus for the bazillion carbs I had consumed in regular soda. I guessed at 70 carbs. I never drink regular soda. Ever. So I didn’t even know what the actual carb value was. All I knew was that I was feeling horrible.

Test another ½ hour later. Down to 305. Another correction. (You can probably guess where this is going to put me in a couple hours.)

Four hours later I was 28. I tested twice. 28 again. This would have been a super time for the dang pop that I had earlier. Instead I had powerade and cookies.

Saturday night I decide to check the basals again. (Obviously still brain damaged from the highs and lows of today…what was I thinking?! This wouldn’t be a great night for checking.) But, I woke up at 2:30. BS= 108. Sweet. Got up at 8:30 the next morning. BS=160.

I turned up my basal rate last night between 4am and 6am, and went to sleep hoping for good things.

It’s amazing the smile that I can get from looking at the Freestyle, in the dawn of morning, with a simple 78 on it.

DIXIE TIDBIT:

Dixie would like me to mention that she tried to tell me that there were problems in the restaurant, but I wouldn’t listen.

I should have.

Sorry Dixie!

Pencils, books, and teacher's dirty looks

2007-09-11T14:14:00.000-05:00

School is back in session.

It’s bittersweet. Summer is over. But it’s fun to see the kids. It’s especially fun for Dixie who loves her boys, and spent the summer without seeing them. She had some fun reunions last week. But it was a hot week. Temperature highs in the 90s, and a school without air conditioning. Not a good combination.

The beginning of school always brings crazy blood sugars. It’s always a time that I have to tweak my basal rates and readjust my carb ratio. I like to wake up in the morning with blood sugars in the 65-80 range. If I’m higher than that, I feel so sluggish to start my day. This week I haven’t had one blood sugar in my target range. So you can probably guess how my mornings have been going.

Back up to Labor Day weekend. After fighting with my medical supply company for a half an hour, they agreed to Fed-ex overnight me ONE Deltec cartridge. (because heaven knows that I can’t possibly really need more than that. I must be trying to “fool” the system!) My friend, Scott, very kindly offered to share one of his with me if the Fed-ex order didn’t come before I needed to leave for my trip. What a guy! Thanks Scott.

It was great to get back to the BWCA. It was just the kind of relaxing that I needed before starting school. I sat on a little beach at the campsite and read a good book, took pictures, and stared at the waves and clouds. We made trail pizza and hot pots of soup. It was peaceful and wonderful.

You may remember my post about glucagon and that my insurance company (prescription coverage) wouldn’t pay for it. It was submitted to my medical insurance and they also have refused to pay. I am so frustrated. I know I should be calling the company and fighting it, but I don’t want to.

I’m sick of dealing with people at companies who don’t have to spend their days living with diabetes. I’m sick of having to justify why I might need a couple extra test strips or a few more cartridges for my pump. I’m just sick of it. It’s one thing to live with diabetes and all the frustration that it brings trying to manage the disease…but it is too much, on top of that, to have to deal with insurance companies, claim personnel, and medical supply companies.

Yes, I know, be thankful that I have good health insurance. I am.

I just dream of things being simple.

DIXIE TIDBIT:

Dixie is certainly happy to be back at school, although it seems like she wishes that summer vacation had lasted longer. After she goes outside for her lunch break, she is reluctant to come inside. It’s as if she’s saying, “Hey, it’s great out here. Sunny, warm, and there is so much to smell. Come on, we were outside all summer. Don’t make me go back in that school!” It takes us both a while to get back into the routine.

Cartridges woes

2007-08-28T20:11:00.000-05:00

When I was in the BWCA a couple weeks ago, I decided to half fill my pump cartridges, so that I wouldn’t heat up the entire 300 units of insulin day after day living outdoors in the hot sun. Seemed like a good idea at the time.

Yesterday I realized that I only had one cartridge left in the box. O.k., no big deal. My medical supply order from the company in Florida was scheduled to come on Wednesday. Last night I filled the last cartridge and put it in my pump. When I screwed on the luer lock for my quick set, I heard a click. Hmmm, that was odd. Never heard that sound before. I didn’t really investigate the noise.

I went to bed about 10:30pm. I woke up (I think because it was raining so darn hard) at 1:47am. I felt horrible. I grabbed the tester and poked. 367. WHAT??? I remembered the click sound, and so disconnected my quick set and primed the line. Nothing. No insulin. It pooled up around the top of the pump. CRAP! I didn’t have any cartridges left. The one in my pump was apparently broken, and I was high as a kite. (with small ketones, might I add)

I did the only thing that I could think of. I took my used cartridge from the garbage can (where I had thrown it hours earlier, minus the screw on top), wiped it with alcohol, and filled it up again. I put it in my pump and gave a gi-normous corrective bolus.

I called the medical supply place today. The woman tells me that my order had a problem with UPS, and that it wouldn’t be coming until Friday. I calmly explained the contaminated cartridge I was currently using, infested with probably more bacteria than I’d really like to know about. She put me on hold for 20 minutes, trying to pass me through to the “diabetes division.” After the 20 min, she came back on the phone to ask me to give her my number so that she could have a rep call me. THEY NEVER CALLED. I called and sat on hold again, ending up having to hang up to head to a training that I needed to give at a local summer camp for environmental education staff.

So here I sit. Contaminated cartridge of insulin pumping into me, germs and all, without a replacement en route.

I leave for the BWCA at 4am on Thursday morning. Gotta figure out something by then.

I’ll have to get back on the phone tomorrow and offer to sell my soul in exchange for one lousy, overnight-aired, cartridge.

Dam diabetes!

32 years and still going strong!!

2007-08-15T10:45:00.000-05:00

32 years ago today I was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes.

My mom took me to my pediatrician for my “entrance to first grade” physical. They did a urine test. The doctor told my mom that she needed to take me to Minneapolis Children’s Hospital so that the diagnosis could be confirmed with a blood test. The clinic that I went to was so small that it didn’t have it’s own lab.

I remember riding in the car, and my mom telling me “…if you’re good for the blood test, we’ll stop on the way home for a chocolate ice cream cone” at the local drugstore. (a big treat!) They did the blood draw and we waited for the results. I don’t remember much after that. I guess they told my mom that I had diabetes and that I would be admitted to the hospital for education, etc. (for 5 days! Imagine that.) My mom called my dad to tell him, and later that night, he punched a hole in our bathroom door out of frustration and sadness. I don’t know what my blood sugar was upon admittance. I’m sure that it wasn’t much higher than 200. I didn’t feel sick. I hadn’t been losing weight. It was caught early. I didn’t actually start taking insulin for about a month after diagnosis. I must have been in the “honeymoon” phase. Too bad this was so long ago, or the honeymoon period could have been lengthened. For a six year old, this was pretty crazy. I was hospitalized and taught to check my urine; my parents learned how to give injections, and how to help me follow a meal plan. But I felt FINE!

I never got the chocolate ice cream cone.

When I finally started taking insulin, I took one injection each day, in the morning. I didn’t start taking a second injection until a year or two after my diagnosis. I tested my urine four times a day, attempting to void ½ hour before the actual test. I learned to pee on command.

I remember my mom packing my lunch and snacks for school. She sewed little pockets in all of my shorts and pants so that I could carry a pack of lifesavers wherever I went. (this was WAY before glucose tabs and gel) Sometimes I would come home from school with a couple missing lifesavers. My mom would ask what happened and I would tell her that I had “a little reaction.” (the rule was to eat 7 lifesavers when I felt low. Sometimes I just wanted a lifesaver or two, so I came up with the “little reactions.”) I went to the nurse’s office every day before lunch so that I could pee in a cup and the health aide could test it. She would write the test value (Negative, Trace, +1, +2, +3, +4) on a little sheet of paper for me to put in my backpack. I followed a “meal plan.” I still remember the plan. Breakfast was 2 breads, 1 fruit, 0-1 fat, 0 vegetables, and 1 milk. There was no exchanging—if I was supposed to have 1 milk, I couldn’t switch and have an extra “bread exchange.” I put Sweet -10 liquid saccharin on my breakfast cereal and used it to mix with unsweetened kool-aid. If I was hungry between meals, I could choose a snack from the list of “free foods.” All those foods sucked. Rhubarb (raw), pickles, raw veggies, 1-tablespoon ketchup, or 1 tablespoon whipped topping. Seriously. Can you imagine telling your hungry 6 year old to choose one of those yummy snacks?! Does a picture of a little kid chomping on a stalk of raw rhubarb fill your head?! As you might imagine, I came to love pickles.

I started going to Camp Needlepoint. The counselors and medical team used to carry pouches of sugar cubes. You would get 4 big ones, or 6 small ones if you were low. (I don’t know how they checked if you were low…I don’t think I ran off to the bathroom and tested my pee every time I felt low…) I learned to give my own shot there when I was 8 years old. The last day of camp that summer, they called my name and I got to stand on a bench while the entire group in the dining hall clapped for my accomplishment. I remember that. I was one of the few kids that were taking two shots a day. Most were still only taking one. I was pissed about that. I remember standing in line at the bathroom before meals waiting to urine test. My friends and I used to just dip our diastix in the toilet water at bedtime snack time, (to ensure a negative reading) so that we would get to have more smunchies. (a favorite bedtime snack. Sugar free Chocolate pudding mixed with peanut butter, a dollop of whipped cream on top, then frozen between graham crackers. They were the bomb—at least back then they were. Compared to the rhubarb, smunchies were the Taj Mahal.) I remember the introduction of glucose tabs. You know the ones. Those big, white BD suckers. I still gag at the thought of those. I choked down more than I care to remember. I was a camper, a counselor, and an administrative member. I spent 20 of my summers at camp. I grew up there.

Diabetes is part of who I am. I don’t remember living without it. I got an email from my mom last week.

“Oh how I admire you, Molly, for all the years of everything you have had to endure...you are my inspiration. No words can say how proud of you I am.”

I don’t feel like I “endure.” If I had been diagnosed later, perhaps I would have a different feeling. Maybe I’d remember how much easier life was before my diagnosis. But I was just a little kid, and this just seems like the way life is to me.

I’ve met many cool people because I have diabetes. I have a really awesome dog because I have diabetes.

So raise your glass today (a diet soda or calorie free beverage will do, although I’ll certainly be having a cocktail!) to celebrate.

32 years with diabetes, with only a little hypoglycemia unawareness to show for it, is a pretty DAM good reason to celebrate.

DIXIE TIDBIT:

Today, Dixie is secretly thinking that how happy she is that I have diabetes, or she would not be in my life. And secretly, I’m thinking the same thing too. ☺

We're back!

2007-08-04T18:33:00.000-05:00

I am back from the Boundary Waters Canoe Area. What a great trip!

It’s hard to put in words, the experiences that we had.

There were quiet mornings, sunny afternoons, and loons calling. We lay in the tent listening to morning birds. We cooled down by jumping in the cold water. I watched the sunrise and the moon appear. We loved sitting in the breeze reading Harry Potter out loud. We ate steaming bowls of soup made on a little stove. We munched pistachios and drank sugar free kool-aid while sitting on the shore of a lake listening to waves roll in on the rocks. It was bliss.

I ended up bringing my expired glucagon, as my prescription was not approved. Apparently it is now in the appeal stage, and I will be notified in another 30 days if my health insurance will agree to cover it since the prescription coverage will not.

I brought two new meters (Freestyle Lite) that my friend from Michigan brought with her, courtesy of her friend that works for Abbot. I liked the bright light and the bigger numeral display. Otherwise, it isn’t much different than the Freestyle Flash. It does use different strips that she also brought for me.

On the third night, we headed into the tent, tired from the day. Each night that Dixie entered the tent she crashed hard. Living outdoors was exhausting for her. That third night, around midnight, I awoke to scratching. Dixie was still laying on her thermarest, but had one paw extended and was hitting me. I tested and was 42. I opened a zip lock baggie and got out two GU packets. I ripped open the packages and slammed them. During this time Dixie rolled over and went back to sleep, as if saying, “my work is done.”

It was very hot and humid, and I had a harder time keeping pump sites in for more than two days. Many times during the day, and especially after a portage, I lifted my shirt to wipe sweat from around the site and to check its integrity. I usually fill my Cozmo cartridges the whole way up. (300ish units) For the trip, because of the heat, I only filled them halfway. I kept the spare cartridges in a Frio cold pack that worked marvelously. I had also purchased a Frio pump pack, and kept my entire pump in that during the hot afternoons.

So what were the challenges of the trip? Black flies that bit and bit and bit. (especially around the ankles) Long portages (a mile at a time) carrying a canoe over my head. Hot nights in the tent, trying to get comfortable. (most night it was too hot for a sleeping bag so we just slept on our sleeping pads) Falling while carrying the canoe, landing with it on my head, and spending the rest of the day with a headache. But even with those things, it was incredible.

I’m already thinking about my trip next summer. ☺

DIXIE TIDBIT:

Dixie loved the trip. She sat on top of the food pack in the canoe, and her sniffer worked overtime. She did a great job, not only in the canoe, but also on the portages.

The flies really got to her. She had a couple of afternoons of swollen bumps around her eyes and on her snout, but nothing that a couple doses of benadryl didn’t remedy. She was a trooper.

If I haven’t mentioned it lately…. Man, she’s a good dog. The best.

Argh!! Insurance company!

2007-07-21T21:57:00.000-05:00

I leave on Monday for the BWCA. I am nearly ready.

The food pack is almost ready. I have packed all our meals in individual zip lock gallon bags. Each bag includes all the food and condiments needed for the individual meal, as well as a couple paper towels (for clean up) and handi-wipes. Breakfast is in one sack, lunch in another, and all the dinners in a third stuff sack. Snacks are in their own stuff sack.

The equipment pack is ready. It holds the tent, first aid kit, water filter, and small miscellaneous pieces of equipment. (duct tape, sun shower, rope, etc.)

We will have two personal packs. Two people will share each pack. These packs will include sleeping bags, headlamps, personal gear, clothes, diabetes supplies (in both packs for safe keeping) and entertainment. (Aka: the new Harry Potter book that will be read aloud each day)

I called my doctor for a glucagon refill. I went to pick it up early last week. (I wrote about it in my last entry) The short version is that is wasn’t covered by my insurance company because it is a “diagnostic aid.” My doctor filled out an exemption. I got a letter on Wednesday that said “…your claim is: denied. Reason: other.” I called the insurance company and asked what “other” meant. A rep. told me that glucagon is a diagnostic aid and their company does not cover diagnostic aids. I asked this man if he knew about the BWCA. He said yes. I said that it would be far more costly to have to pay for me having to be airlifted out of the wilderness than to cover the darn glucagon. (I know, I know, it wasn’t very nice to say…but I was really FRUSTRATED by that time) It seems so absurd. I have been getting glucagon prescriptions filled since I was six years old. Suddenly my insurance that covered it last year won’t cover it.

I looked up glucagon on the Eli Lilly site. I guess I never knew that it had another use other than for severe hypoglycemia.

This is listed on their site under indications for glucagon:

For use as a diagnostic aid:
Glucagon is indicated as a diagnostic aid in the radiologic examination of the stomach, duodenum, small bowel, and colon when diminished intestinal motility would be advantageous. Glucagon is as effective for this examination as are the anticholinergic
drugs.

My doctor is making one more attempt to provide documentation that this prescription will be used for hypoglycemia and NOT as a diagnostic aid. She sent a new form on Thursday. As of today (Saturday) it is not covered.

I’m planning to take my old glucagon that expired in June 2007.

Here’s hoping that I won’t need it. Chances are good since I haven’t needed it for the last 19 years.

I can’t wait to leave.

Monday morning I’ll be off to the great NorthWoods. What a great way to spend your birthday. Mine is that day☺!

DIXIE TIDBIT:

Dixie is all packed.

She has her pack full of food (I dehydrated meat patties for her to eat—a mixture of turkey, cooked brown rice, egg, baby food carrots, fish oil, and bone meal) She also has a bag of dehydrated chicken and cookies.

There are aspirin and benadryl in the first aid kit for her.

She will sleep in the tent on an old thermarest pad.

I have her lighted collar and back up leash.

She can’t wait to go.

Getting Ready

2007-07-12T17:10:00.000-05:00

I’ve been busy getting ready for my yearly BWCA trip. It is my big vacation. It is the place where I feel the most powerful and grounded.

For those of you who aren’t from Minnesota and aren’t familiar with it, the Boundary Waters Canoe Area Wilderness (BWCA or BWCAW, sometimes referred to as the bee-dub) is a 1.09 million acre wilderness area within the Superior National Forest in northern Minnesota and is under the administration of the U.S. Forest Service. The BWCA is renowned as a destination for both canoeing and fishing, and is the most visited wilderness in the United States. Motors are not allowed, so the only way around this vast wilderness is paddling in a canoe. (or kayak)

I’ve been going to the BW since I was a kid. My dad introduced me to it, taking my siblings and me as little kids and teaching us how to love that place. I am the only child to continue the adventures as an adult. Every summer for the last 12 years, I have gone with a group of women and spend a week there. The group changes each year. There are three of us that are the “core” group, and we bring another 1, 2, or 3 women each summer. This summer there will be 5 of us going, as well as Dixie.

There are “entry points” on the eastern and western side of the BW. A permit is required to enter at these points during the summer. I apply for our permit in January. As it is a protected wilderness, a limited number of people are allowed to enter at each point every day.

The trip that we take involves moving every day. We pack up our sleeping bags, tents, and equipment each morning, and journey to a new lake and new campsite. Campsites are designated by red dots on the maps, and include a fire grate and a box latrine. Some days our journey is long, other days it is medium. We paddle the length of lakes and then unload our canoes and carry all of our packs and canoes over a portage to another lake. Sometimes we do 8-10 portages/lakes per day. Some portages are quite short—30 feet. Others can be up to a mile or mile and a half long. The paths are primitive and are challenging with elevation changes, rocky and uneven paths, swamps, and/or thick brush and trees.

We drink water from the lakes, sometimes using a water filter, and sometimes just dipping our cups in the middle of large lakes. We eat dehydrated foods, and cook over a stove fueled by tiny propane tanks. We swim, we see animals, and we have peace and quiet.

Having diabetes happens to complicate this adventure.

I pack insulin in Frio pouches to keep it cool. I bring long acting insulin and syringes in case I have a pump malfunction. I require all members of the group to carry GU for me. I test tons. I check my blood sugar every night before we hang our food pack in a tree, just in case I’m low and need to have a quick snack. I’ve gotten low before, when the pack is already up the tree, and it’s a pain to have to untie and get it back down. I pack all the food, and I’m always guilty of packing way more than we need. It’s the diabetic in me—worrying about whether there is enough to keep me safe. I change my pump sites with the aid of friends holding pieces of equipment so I don’t have to put delicate supplies on the ground.

I emailed my doctor earlier this week asking her to call in a refill for my glucagon and levemir prescriptions. (and directions of how on earth to dose levemir) For safety, I always bring two glucagon kits. Being 20 miles by canoe from the car, and another 30 miles from a town requires preparations like that. I went to pick up the meds, and the pharmacy tech said “that will be $172.67.” What!?! My copay is $14. That can’t be right. The pharmacist came over to tell me that it wasn’t covered because it was deemed a “diagnostic test.” What?!? I told them that I didn’t want it if I had to pay full price. I called the insurance company today. The lady on the other end said that my insurance wouldn’t cover “formularies.” (meaning “name brand”) I asked her what the generic equivalent was. She said that there wasn’t one. Hmmm, then why wouldn’t it be covered. She told me that I needed to call my doctor to get a “formulary exemption.” Seriously. What a joke. Needless to say I sent another email to the doc today asking for that exemption. I’m going to be in the wilderness, for crying out loud. Far away from medical care. It’s not a luxury item.

Sigh.

The good news is that I leave for the trip on my birthday. What a great way to celebrate.

DIXIE TIDBIT:

Dixie will be coming on the trip. She likes riding in the canoe and sleeping in a tent. Let's be honest... a dog living in the wilderness for a week. It probably can't get any better for her.

Last summer, on the sixth day of our adventure, Dixie ran off (she wasn’t on a leash) midway through a portage. When we realized that she was missing, it started storming like crazy. We called and called for her. We ripped through the woods trying to find her. She didn’t come.

It got late and my friends told me that I had to go to a campsite and continue the search the next day. I don’t really even remember how I paddled away from that portage. I layed awake that night, praying that I would find Dixie, praying that I wouldn’t have to leave her to die alone.

The next morning four of us went back to the portage and continued looking. Two other women paddled their canoe around the big lake looking for her. A couple hours later, their canoe pulled to the portage where I stood, and Dixie was in the middle of the canoe. She was exhausted and covered in scratches. She had traveled over six miles and was found by a counselor working with Voyageur Outward Bound campers. It was a miracle.

Dixie will be on a leash the entire time.

But, as you can probably expect, I am nervous about it.

(The picture above is Dixie and me finishing a portage last year. She has her pack on that she carries her food in, and I have a canoe above my head with a pack on my back.)

A bunch of firsts

2007-07-03T10:09:00.000-05:00

Dixie and I had a safe journey to and from Atlanta.

It was a pretty smooth trip. Dixie did great on her first airplane trip. On the way to Atlanta I sat next to a nice fellow. He was really kind. Helped me get my stuff in the overhead compartment. I asked if he knew that there would be a dog next to him and he said no. I asked if he was o.k. with that and he said “Yes.” Dixie was very mellow. She was most anxious during the taxi on the runway part of the flight. She put her front paws on my lap and hit her snout in my armpit. There were two men behind me who were very kind. They asked if I would let Dixie back to visit them. She was as interested as they were, so I let her go back to them. The two men took turns petting her. Then she crawled under the seat and layed on my feet the rest of the trip.

I have to say that flying first class is nice. It’s like going to a spa and being pampered. I had a lovely salmon and field greens salad, along with a tiny container of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream for dessert. (Yes, it had the carb value on it. And yes, I ate it.) The photo above is of Dixie in seat 1-A. She had hoped to sit in the seat during the trip. I snapped the photo before she moved to the floor.

We arrived in Atlanta, picked up my luggage and went outside to the shuttle. The shuttle driver wouldn’t let us ride because she said, “dogs have to be in cages.” Two managers later we hopped aboard.

Dixie had her first plane ride, first shuttle ride, first taxi ride, first major league baseball game, (Atlanta vs. Washington) and first bus ride. I’m so proud of her. She was a trooper.

I appreciate Minnesota nice so much now. I had so many people in Atlanta scream in fear of Dixie, refuse to ride elevators that we were in, and restaurant owners tell me that I couldn’t come in their restaurant with a dog. (again, several managers later and I eventually was able to enter) It was a pain. Kids came up to me several times and asked if Dixie bites. I’ve never been asked that before.

I left Atlanta on Thursday. I went through security, and Dixie set off the alarm. (like she had in MN. There, they escorted us aside and patted her down) A man asked me to step into a “waiting area.” This was like a glass hallway with a locked door. I waited about 10 minutes. Finally a woman came over and opened the door and grabbed me by the arm to lead me to a chair. She told me to sit. She said “raise your left arm.” I did. Another guy came over and started to pat down Dixie. I asked the woman if she could wait a minute so that I could focus on Dixie while she was being patted. The woman said “NO!” The process took another 5-10 minutes. (it felt longer) It was humiliating.

We boarded the plane back to MN. The pilots asked if she could stay with them during the flight. The man next to us was really nice and said that he had a couple labs at home. Dixie was more anxious during the return flight. I wasn’t feeling particularly well, so I thought maybe that was why. We both slept most of the trip. The flight attendant brought Dixie a pillow. ☺ Nice people.

I got into the MN airport and a friend picked me up. I was feeling pretty horrible. Got home and took my temperature. 101.7. No wonder I felt so bad. I had a cold, and spent the entire weekend resting. I’m still not over it yet. When Dayquil is on board, I can keep my temp around 99. Ugh. Aren’t colds supposed to happen during winter? A summer cold?! What the heck. Fortunately it hasn't caused much havoc with my blood sugars.

It's good to be home.

The summer begins

2007-06-20T21:18:00.000-05:00

It's been a nice start to the summer. Dixie and I had a couple of days to relax, and then started working at a summer camp for kids with sensory processing problems. We've been busy commuting back and forth every day for the last seven days. We leave for Atlanta on Sunday and have started to get ready for that trip.

So here's my answers to the current meme going around.

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Molly
2. Mol
3. M

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My hair. Same as my dad…it’s thick.
2. My cheeks. Good color
3. My feet. (docs always tell me how great they look. So does my massage therapist)

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My weight
2. My height
3. The scars all over my stomach from years of pumping.

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Swedish
2. Irish
3. Not sure what else.

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Doing new things by myself.
2. Possible complications from diabetes.
3. Flying.

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Insulin (with dexamethasone so I don’t have an allergic reaction to it)
2. blood tester
3. low food (Gu, airheads, fruit snacks)

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. rubber ducky lounge pants
2. My insulin pump and groovy patch
3. Glasses

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE MUSICALS:
1. Oklahoma (only because I had a part in the high school play)
2. Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat
3. I haven’t seen Mama Mia… but I was around Abba music as a kid, so I bet I’d like it.

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS:
1. Closer to Fine
2. Suddenly I see
3. Accidentally in love

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. Love.
2. Laughs.
3. Passion.

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. Hanging with Dixie.
2. Canoeing and camping.
3. Softball.

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Go to the BWCA.
2. Eat something without having to calculate carbs and give a bolus.
3. Sit in the hottub.

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. None really… As I’m off for the summer, my job seems great now. ☺
2.
3.

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Alaska.
2. the BWCA.
3. any hotel where I can get away from home, forget about daily life, and relax.

THREE KIDS NAMES YOU LIKE:
1. Zachary
2. Josiah
3. Katie

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Move into a new house. A bigger house with room for Dixie to run around.
2. Start a consulting business
3. Become more organized.

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL:
1. I cry during t.v. shows or for sad commercials.
2. I love massages and other body work.
3. I’m super sensitive.

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY:
1. I love wearing baseball hats. All summer.
2. I love watching sports on TV.
3. I hit people when I’m enthusiastic. (sometimes harder than they expect)

DIXIE TIDBIT:

I gave Dixie her Frontline medicine on Monday. The ticks have been out in full force. I hate doing Frontline because it seems so wrong to use those toxic chemicals. Dixie’s been under the weather ever since. When I woke up on Tuesday morning, there was a huge drool stain on her bed. Then she was just punky all day. She seems better today but still is pretty slow.

She woke me up this morning when I was low, and clipped me in the lip and now I have a scratch. Small price to pay for her work.

MN Nice asked about Dixie’s coat and how shiny and healthy she looks. She eats dog food (Natural Balance duck and potato) with brown rice and a little chicken. Her coat has always been shiny and glossy.

No more pencils, no more books...

2007-06-07T21:25:00.000-05:00

We had our first Minnesota OC get together on Sunday. Scott, Amber, Sara, and me.

It was fun. We talked and talked about everything. Lows and favorite low foods. Infusion sets and inserters. The finer points of pumps. The carb value of a Burger King chicken tender meal and bread bowls. We laughed. A lot. It was awesome!

Being around other people with diabetes is so important. It’s nice to be able to talk about what’s happening (diabetes) without having to explain everything in the process. Thanks guys! I had a great time!

Today was the last day of school. Done for another year, and now I have a couple months to decompress. It was a crazy day. I had to say good-bye to my sixth graders who will be moving on to junior high. I saw the joy in the first graders who proudly shared that they were almost second graders. I hugged my special friends and said good-bye to parents who I’ve spent a lot of time in the last couple years figuring out what was best for their child. I said good-bye to a good friend who may not work with me next year and shed tears.

It’s a whirl of emotions. Sad, happy, relieved and proud.

It was a good year. My staff touched kids in many ways and helped them to become confident, strong students. I am proud of our accomplishments.

I’m exhausted.

DIXIE TIDBIT:

The end of school has been difficult for Dixie.

Most of the kids I work with happen to be boys. Dixie so loves “her boys.” (boys who have a special relationship with Dixie) The last week has been a different schedule, as many of the kids have been on field trips, or coming at different times or not at all. Today, no kids came to my classroom; except for quick check ins.

Dixie sat by the door and pouted. She would hear kids in the hall and perk up, only to put her head back down and sigh loudly when she realized the kids weren’t coming in the room. Finally the last hour, several of "her" boys came to see her and say good-bye. She wagged her tail like crazy and smiled. (when she is really happy she opens her mouth and shows her teeth—a dog smile.)

She’ll have a hard time for a week or so, and then will fall into our summer routine.

We both will.

Doing her job

2007-05-20T09:58:00.000-05:00

8:28 a.m. A big, black paw hitting my shoulder awakes me. It hits me a few times. I reach out and pet the paw, and close my eyes--trying to get back in my dream.

The paw hits again, only this time on my face. I reach out and pet and attempt to coerce the dog to lie down and snuggle.

“Come on buddy. I’ll pet you. Lay down.”

Now the dog is standing over me, digging with her paws near my face.

8:32 am “FINE! I’M UP. O.K. I’ll TEST!”

Grab the testing kit next to my bed. The dog gives a heavy sigh and curls into a ball and rests on the bed. No more pawing me.

Fumble it open and slide a strip into the machine. Turn the light on so I can see where to put the blood.

Pick a finger to poke. Push the button. No blood.

“Dam, I need to put a new lancet in here.” It’s probably been a month since that lancet was changed.

After three pokes, I finally pierce a finger and squeeze blood on the strip.

The light goes out- sample was accepted.

Beep. 55.

Grab a juice box and slurp the whole thing down.

I reach over and pull the dog close to me. I kiss her head.

“Thanks. Good low. Good dog.”

The dog sighs and rolls over so that I can rub her belly.

We both fall back to sleep for 20 minutes.

She’s content.

I’m safe.

New diagnosis

2007-05-06T16:14:00.000-05:00

I don’t understand the treatment for Type 2. I don’t really know a lot about medications that are available. I read Diabetes Forecast and have stopped skipping through the Type 2 articles and actually reading them. I’ve tried to understand this “other diabetes” because many friends and acquaintances have that disease.

A woman that I work with at school was diagnosed with Type 2 about a month ago. Her doctor (at a major medical center in the twin cities) sent her home with a prescription for Metformin, directions for its use, and a scheduled appointment for diabetes education four weeks from that time. She filled the Metformin and started taking it. I asked if she was testing, and she said that the doctor said that she could wait until the education class.

The education class was last Thursday. This woman left work early to attend it.

She came back to work on Friday. I asked how the class was. She said that she couldn’t be in the class because she had to meet individually with her doctor. Apparently her blood sugar was high. They did a “1AC” (A1c) and it was 19.8. My jaw dropped.

19.8. OH… MY…GOSH! I didn’t know the test range went that high. Isn’t that a serious medical condition?!?!

I ask if they gave her any insulin. She said no, that the doctor had just told her to keep taking the Metformin, test her blood sugar twice a day, and come back for a follow up appointment in another month. What?!

I wish this were the only time that I had heard about that kind of plan for someone newly diagnosed with Type 2. But it wasn’t. I’ve heard stories like that more that once.

Why aren’t people with Type 2 treated aggressively? Why wouldn’t this woman be instructed to test more frequently, to figure out if the Metformin was enough? Where’s the meal planning information?

Diabetes is a challenging chronic illness. I am constantly out there researching what is new and possible for my management. I’m an informed member of my health care team.

I have friends that are not. They take the back seat in their diabetes management. When I suggest that they ask their doctor about new things, they are reluctant. Their control often reflects that.

Heck, I have a family practice doctor who is my "primary care physician." It's the rule to have a doctor to call that, and it can't be a specialist like my endocrinologist. I see her if I have an illness or injury. She has suggested, many times, that she just manage my diabetes. No way. Although I appreciate her willingness, I'm not settling for anyone but an endocrinologist who specializes in diabetes. I have friends that do see just a general practitioner for their Type 1. They are also often the ones who aren't aggressively managing their disease.

If health care providers aggressively helped manage people’s diabetes, would the rate of complications be so high? Is our health care team content with basic management?

It seems like people with Type 1 are diagnosed, and expected to make major life changes immediately. MDI, insulin pumps, carb counting, sick day management, ratios, etc are all started quickly. Why not with Type 2 diagnoses? Why is the management plan for Type 2 so gentle, so slow? First try and lose some weight, test a couple times a week, take a couple pills. Where’s the urgency?

Is it our society that has made Type 2 “not a big deal.”? Lose a little weight, exercise, and you will be healed. It seems so simple that I fear people don’t understand the seriousness and the complexity of diabetes. The woman I work with told her doctor that she “…didn’t want the needle.” I hope her doctor told her that diabetes isn’t really a disease where you can “choose” your treatment. Certainly your life choices will affect the level of intervention that is needed—whichever kind of diabetes you have.

I've certainly read other people's blogs who are living with Type 2, and they seem to be very educated about treatments, etc. Maybe I just know the people who aren't...

I hope that people with diabetes, despite which kind, get attentive medical care that gives them the chance at having a great quality of life.

DIXIE TIDBIT:

Yesterday I got a hair cut. (as my students would say “you got lots of hairs cut.”) The woman called my name and walked me back to her station. She looked uncomfortable. She told me that she was afraid of dogs. I assured her that Dixie was well trained and had passed an exam that allowed her to be in public places without people having to worry about their safety. I don’t think that she bought it.

She was clearly nervous during the whole process. Dixie was perfect. She just lay on the floor with pieces of hair dropping on her. It’s awkward. It’s the first time anyone has ever said that to me.

It made for an uncomfortable 20 minutes.

(the photo of Dixie is from school. She had just alerted me - by jumping on the table and hitting me with her paws. It's her last behavior, when I've ignored all the other alerts.)

Traveling by plane

2007-04-25T17:39:00.000-05:00

I just found out that I was approved to attend a technology workshop in June that is in Georgia. I was thrilled that I was selected. It’s a great opportunity. Teachers don’t often get chances to travel to state of the art conferences.

Then I remembered that

I
hate
to
fly

It’s not the flying part that I don’t like. It’s the build up to the flight. I worry the entire ride to the airport. Mostly about not getting an aisle seat when I check in. I have had times that I wasn’t able to get a seat assignment prior to arriving at the airport. This creates even more anxiety. I get this picture of myself sitting in a cramped seat without elbow room. I’m sure that the plane I’m getting on is unbearably hot. And the takeoff is probably going to be delayed, so I will have to sit in the plane sweating and squished—probably in a middle seat.

Once I actually get on the plane I am o.k. I realize that there is room, the temperature isn’t close to sauna like, and there is air to breath. I can usually just take my aisle seat and set up my dvd player and be quite content.

I guess that you could say that I am a reluctant traveler. Friends and family that have flown with me cringe at the thought of sharing that opportunity with me again. They say that I make them nuts. (They, of course, say it in a gentle way)

So I squirm a little thinking of it.

Then I realize that I will be flying with Dixie for the first time.

Oh no.

Holy smokes.

I can probably cope with flying alone. But flying alone with Dixie. Ahh!

How do you even fly with a dog?! How will I convince my lab that flying is no big deal when I’m a basket case?!

I spent a day or two panicking about this, but then realized that I would make my life much easier, eliminate many of my worries, and fly first class. (no, my district won't pay for first class, just coach. So I'll be paying the difference) I call Northwest and talk to a very nice woman who gets my ticket squared away (and it’s really not much more than coach—I can’t believe it!). She asks if I would like an aisle or window. Of course I say aisle. Then I mention that I have a service animal that will be traveling with me. She asks if it is a dog or a monkey.

A MONKEY? Who’s heard of a service monkey. Whenever I think of trained monkeys, I always get a picture in my mind of that movie – can’t remember the name- but it had a guy and his monkey who rode around with him in a truck. The monkey wore a little red, hooded sweatshirt and jeans. Very cute. Then I thought of the monkeys that you see on public television that are trained to use sign language to communicate. I don’t think I would want a monkey pulling at my hand and using sign language to tell me I should test my blood sugar, or screaming at me if I didn’t promptly treat a low.

I tell the woman that Dixie is a dog. Then she asks if she is a Chihuahua. (WHAT?!) I tell her that she is a 55 pound lab mix. She says that I will need to sit in seat 1-A, which is the “handicapped” seat. I assure her that I’m not handicapped, and don’t need a special seat. (although friends would say that I’m handicapped by my wacky traveling behaviors:-) She says that it’s the seat with the most room, so Dixie will have plenty of space to stretch out. Oh, o.k.

I got off the phone and took a deep breath. I can do this. I’m sure Dixie will love Atlanta.

I’m all lined up to travel. If anyone happens to lurk by and read this, and works in the airline or vet business, I’d love to have some tips for flying with a dog.

Questions

2007-04-12T20:51:00.000-05:00

I got a recent email from someone interested in knowing more about Dixie and her training. I'm posting my response here so that others who might have the same questions can see my answers.

What trained skills does your dog perform for you?

Dixie is a trained emergency medical response dog. (EMRD) As I’ve written before, she alerts me when my blood sugar is high, low, or dropping. She knows how to push a switch to activate Life Alert if I’m not responsive. She knows basic obedience skills—sit, stay, lay down, heel, come. I trained her to push “handicap buttons” at public buildings to open doors. She is trained to put her “paws up” which was initially used to teach her to use her front paws to alert me.

If I go to an alert dog school, what can I expect? What will happen there?

I can only speak as to what training was like at Great Plains Assistance Dog Foundation, as that’s the only place I’ve trained. I spent three weeks at their center in Jud, North Dakota. They have two, on site apartments. (really two separate little houses) The apartment that I stayed in had a furnished kitchen including stove, fridge, oven, pots, pans, silverware, etc. It had one bedroom that had two twin beds in it. There was a large bathroom (handicapped accessible) with a shower. (no tub) I trained with the trainers and Dixie Monday thru Friday. Thursday was community access day. We went to Jamestown, ND to practice public access at stores, restaurants, etc. Saturday and Sunday were days for Dixie and I to rest and spend time together as well as to go to Jamestown for shopping. (She stayed in the house with me after the first day when we met) Training included working on the B-5. (basic 5 – sit, stay, down, heel, come) I usually had about an hour to an hour and a half off each afternoon for lunch. It was exhausting. I brought movies, activities to do, books to read…and did none of them. When I wasn’t working with Dixie at the training center, we were working together in the apartment or crashed. The staff there was great. They are a great bunch of hard working folks that want to help you develop the best relationship with your service dog.

Why did you choose alert dogs from other therapies?

I had an untrained mixed breed dog that used to wake me in the morning if I was low. She died and I realized how much I had come to rely on her. I connected with a woman who was “hooked” in to the service dog organization, and she helped me to find Great Plains. I have had hypoglycemia unawareness for many years, and have always had to rely on other people to help me manage or tell me when I was low. CGMS have never really appealed to me because I struggle just having enough viable tissue to use a pump. (I’ve been using a pump since 1992) I was worried that having another sensor would make more of my tissue not viable. Plus, I love dogs. As a special education teacher, I also support animal interactions for students. Dixie has been amazing with my special ed kids. They love her and she loves them.

What advantages do you think that an alert dog has over other therapies (i.e. Continuous glucose monitoring systems)?
I think that for me, it was all about saving my tissue for insulin and not using it for a sensor. And CGMS aren’t furry and nurturing to kids. ☺

What has been the biggest issue with the public and your dog?

I get sick of the questions from the public. Some of the repeated questions are: “Are you almost blind?” “Is that a seeing eye dog?” “Your dog is in training for a blind person, right?”
I can’t go very many places without having questions asked. Most of the time I am happy to share information about Dixie. I do feel a certain amount of responsibility to educate people that there are service dogs doing all sorts of jobs. But it does get old. At school, kids know the rule about not petting Dixie, and are cute about just waving to her the hall. We don’t go down a hall without a bunch of waves, smiles, and “Hi Dixies!” The adults have the most trouble remembering. Parents walk into the building and just start petting her, then realize her vest says “Please don’t pet me, I’m working” and stop.

Why is your alert dog important to you and your lifestyle?

Dixie and I are a team. She has changed the quality of my life. I don’t carry around the guilt I used to have that my friends had to constantly notice if I was low, because I couldn't. One of my colleagues said, shortly after I was back at school with Dixie, that she felt like she didn’t have a job anymore—she was so used to helping me when I was low. I am able to keep my blood sugars in a reasonable range without worrying about running higher to avoid lows.

I'm a dog person.

And she is a really, really good dog.

New Deltec

2007-04-06T21:20:00.000-05:00

I got my upgraded, complimentary Deltec pump with new features. I have it up and running and have dabbled into some of the features that my old Deltec didn’t have. (hypo manager, disconnect feature, etc.) I like it. I like the fact that the company made improvements to the pump and then passed along those improvements to their customers, free of charge. That feels good. The only drawback was taking the “test” on the internet after watching video clips that describes where and how to use the new features. It took me close to an hour to do, but now I feel like it was worth it. All I have left to do in the process is send Smith Medical my old pump in the provided, postage paid box.

As a teacher, I use an Apple computer. That’s what I have access to at school, and it’s what I have at home. The CoManager software that is available is only usable on a PC. I’ll have to figure out a time to get access to a PC so that I can at least name this pump. Not sure if I should name it Squirt like my last pump, or if it’s time for a new name. I don’t like looking at the home screen and seeing the name Cozmo on there. I need my own name. Any ideas?

I was reading Scott’s blog, and it seemed like something that I could have written. I’m sick of diabetes. Tired of site changes and strips. Sick of carrying supplies with me. Frustrated with overbolusing for meals and then having to eat more when I’m not hungry. Sometimes I feel like I’m just coasting along, and don’t even really think about all that I’m doing. Then it changes. Everything feels like more work. I get mad about little things in diabetes care that don’t usually faze me. Today… it feels exhausting.

Hopefully tomorrow, it won’t.

DIXIE TIDBIT:

Dixie and I went shopping today. We were getting ready to go home, and I opened the back hatch of my car for her to jump in to. She sat and stared at me. I encouraged her to “hop in.” She sat and stared. So I got out my Flash and tested. As soon as I opened the case, Dixie jumped in the car. Blood sugar = 78. Not horribly low, but too low for her. I had a couple sips of powerade and waited about 10 minutes. Retested and was at 85. I drove home. Man, she’s a good dog! I’m lucky.

Vacation

2007-03-26T20:31:00.000-05:00

What a ride the last two weeks.

I have been running in overdrive at school. I’ve been swamped with new assessments, lots and lots of paperwork, and major meltdowns from kids. I’m pretty confident that all of the special education staff has been feeling this way. At the end of the day we all look at each other and just shake our heads. (or laugh like crazy—one extreme of emotion or another)

Just when I thought I couldn’t possibly make it another day, it was the end of the week and time for spring break. Ahhhh!

I spent the week at the Gunflint Lodge outside of Grand Marais, MN. It’s just across the lake from Canada. (funny thing…on the menu at the lodge, domestic beers were listed. The last one in the list was Labatt, which is a Canadian beer. Next to the name it said “domestic because we’re nearly in Canada.”)

It was fabulous. Renewing and invigorating. I took a lantern-lit sleigh ride through the woods in the middle of a lightening storm. I read a book. I walked in the woods and watched the deer eat corn out the front window of the cabin. I went in the indoor hot tub a bunch of times, and I ate great meals cooked for me at the lodge. (AND I didn’t have to plan them, buy the groceries, or wash the dishes. Sweet.) Dixie loved romping through the woods and chasing after bunnies and the many deer. Yahoo vacation.

Diabetes was in good form. No major lows, no pumps sites falling out. Dixie had a pretty light workweek too. That’s nice because she also really needed a vacation. The last week at school she was also dragging. We were quite the pair.

Now it’s back to the grind. Here we go again…

DIXIE TIDBIT:

The more bonded I am to Dixie, the more I understand her alerting behavior. It’s important for us to be together all the time so that she has many opportunities to learn all the ways I am when I am low. People often ask why I don’t leave Dixie at home when I go shopping or out for dinner. It makes perfect cognitive sense to leave her. I made it all these years without her help. It isn’t about how I can do without her; it’s about us being a team.

Seven things

2007-03-09T21:22:00.000-06:00

Seven Things To Do Before I Die:

1. Learn to roughly speak Mandarin Chinese. Why not?
2. Help each of the kids I work with feel special and like superstars.
3. Spend a month in the BWCA.
4. Manage to get an A1c under 6.0 without having a million reactions in the process.
5. Be patient. Teach the children patience
6. Learn to play the trumpet.
7. Go to Morimoto’s restaurant in Philadelphia. (I have this weird obsession with Iron Chef)

Seven Things I Cannot Do:

1. Stop worrying.
2. Be handy around the house.
3. Put together puzzles with more than 15 pieces.
4. Go a week without doing a white load of laundry.
5. Not be a backseat driver
6. Ignore Dixie
7. Give a short answer.

Seven Things I Say:

1. Dam diabetes!
2. You know who I don’t miss? (said to my colleague about some people at my old job)
3. Seriously?!
4. Oogly Googly
5. You know who I hate? (It really means, you know who is bothering me today? I’m not a hateful person)
6. I can’t… I have diabetes. (my FAVORITE line when someone asks me to do something I don’t want to do!)
7. Hot Diggity!

Seven Books That I Love:

1. Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone
2. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
3. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
4. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
5. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
6. Harry Potter and the Half Blood Price
7. Distant Fires by Scott Anderson

(Can you tell that I really don’t read recreationally very much. I read with kids at school, and have really come to enjoy good children’s literature. I had to write each Harry Potter book out so I had enough to fill seven spots!)

Seven Movies That I've Loved:

1. Indian Summer
2. Hoosiers
3. Meatballs (I loved it as a kid!)
4. Remember the Titans
5. Hockey Night (a small class hockey movie made in Canada)
6. Private Benjamin
7. The Cure

People I Tag:

Seriously…anyone who hasn’t done this yet. Giddy up!

DIXIE’S FAVORITES:

Favorite food:
Chicken and brown rice

Favorite toy:
Currently, a stuffed shark

Favorite person:
Molly ☺

Favorite Treat:
Dried chicken wrapped apple

Favorite hobby:
Rolling in the snow

Dogs I tag:
Any who have time to answer this. Woof!

Squirt died

2007-03-05T20:35:00.000-06:00

This was a week of challenges. Mostly it was a Tuesday of challenges.

I was at work on Tuesday. I had just finished eating lunch and was ready to bolus. I had delayed my bolus because I was a little low. I realized that my insulin cartridge was low, and would need to be changed before I could bolus. I took out the near empty cartridge and replaced it with a full one, and started the rewind. My pump alerted and said “battery depleted.” I dug out a new battery and changed that. I started the cartridge changing over again. Again “battery depleted” appeared on the screen. I was sure that both batteries were new, but tried a third one. Same message. Then my pump started squealing a high pitch noise and a “call for service” message appeared. I dialed the Smith Medical number on the back of the pump. I was put on hold. This continued for 15 minutes and then my cell phone rang.

My mom was calling from an ambulance. Earlier that day she was diagnosed with pleurisy. The clinic called her a couple hours later and said that she needed a CT scan to check for blood clots. She went to a local clinic. They saw a pulmonary embolism on the scan and called an ambulance right away. She was transported to a local hospital. I decided that I needed to leave school right away and get home to figure out the pump and mom’s situation.

I sat on hold with the pump company the entire 20 minute commute home. Still no answer.

I got a hold of mom and she had finally gotten and room assignment and was stable. O.k. Deep breath. All is safe.

I called my endo to figure out a shot plan. (I’m embarrassed to say that I don’t have a shot plan. I had an old bottle of Levimir in the fridge that I had taken camping this past summer) My endo was on vacation. The doc on call was going to call me back to help me figure out a plan.

I called the pump company and sat on hold again. Finally got a rep on the line. She went through a sequence on things and then said “…your pump is dead. You need a new one. Should I Fed Ex it to you, or do you want to come and pick it up?” (Poor Squirt- that's my pump's name) Are you kidding… several shots in and I was ready for a new pump. The rep said that it would take a couple hours to get one. I talked to my mom. She was doing fine, had i.v’s going with blood thinners. I waited the 2 hours, and then headed over to Smith Medical. (which, fortunately, was only 15 minutes away from my house. YES!! I knew that “picking a local company” would end up paying off for me.) The woman was so nice. She took my old pump and synced it to the new one. I reconnected and was on my way across town.

I went to my mom’s house, picked up her jammies, books, toiletries, etc. and then headed back downtown to visit and drop off her things. I got back home around 9:30pm and collapsed from all the craziness of the day.

I went to work on Wednesday. After work I drove across town to pick up mom’s car at the clinc that she had been at when the ambulance was called. I drove her car to her house, and then drove back home.

Thursday was a late start day at school. We had meetings in the morning. The weather was really kicking up. The kids arrived two hours late. As they were walking in the door, we were told that we were having an early release. The kids had an hour of instruction, had lunch, and then went home. My commute home took twice the normal time.

Friday, school was called off. Amen. Even with all of the shoveling, it was a welcome relief to have a day to myself. Dixie and I got some much needed rest.

I’m thankful that everything turned out all right. Mom is out of the hospital, I have a new pump, and Dixie and I have rested.

DIXIE TIDBIT:
Chrissy asked: “Please do tell us how you train Dixie to hit the alarm button, if you are NOT having a hypo. Or do you do it when you ARE having a hypo and prewarn the people who take the messages? Do you have to plan a little hypo?

Dixie was taught how to activate the button in several steps. First she learned how to “touch” a button. Then, she learned how to “push the button.” This translated into pushing all sorts of buttons. (like the handicapped button to open a door) Last, she practiced pushing the life alert button when I was low. The hope is that if I would be low and unresponsive, she would try every “trick in her bag.” (the big trick would be hitting the button…actually she doesn’t usually hit the button, she chomps on it)

It’s funny, when I was working with Dixie at the training place, I told the staff there that I would induce a slight low blood sugar by bolusing some insulin, so that Dixie could practice “alerting.” They agreed to let me try. Even then, with our relationship being so new, Dixie knew that I knew I was low. She would position herself in her “protective” way in front of me, but she would not show any alerting behaviors when I induced. The same is true with the button. If I “induce a low,” she won’t fall for it.

Dang, she’s smart.

Snow

2007-02-25T19:17:00.000-06:00

It snowed a lot over the last 24 hours. We have at least a foot. The hours of shoveling were good for my blood sugars, but my arms are so sore now.

Dixie loves the snow. She spent a lot of time outside in the yard jumping like a bunny through the snow piles. She would romp around, then stop and munch on the snow. I think she eats the snow to cool herself down. While I was shoveling in the back yard, Dixie alerted me. She started barking at me and then came over and chewed on my glove. I went inside and tested. Blood sugar was 47. Good thing she alerted because I wasn't even feeling any symptoms. I had two cups of Gatorade and went back outside. Good dog.

Crayons, chalk, and lots of kids

2007-02-21T19:50:00.000-06:00

I’m a Special Ed. Teacher. It is a big part of what defines me. Most of the time, I love it. (or at least, like it) I love to watch kids learn and grow. Working in an elementary school means that some of the kids that I work, I will work with for seven years. I watch them start as tiny five year olds, and see them leave as preteens. I share, with parents, the excitement, tears, and dreams they have for their child. I’ve been teaching long enough now, that I have students who I worked with as six year olds that are now adults. Actually, one of my special kids called me yesterday. He’s 21 years old, works in a construction job, and lives on his own. He wants to work with me again to “…improve his reading so that he can go to college.” I’m touched. I told him that teachers don’t have favorites, but that he was one of mine. He said that he always knew that. That's what teaching is all about.

A feel good story always seems to end with something hard. Here’s my hard. Here’s a statement from my school district administrators.
“…it is anticipated that the projected revenues will fall approximately $3.069 million short of the cost of projected expenditures.”

What, you ask, does that mean? It means that my district will need to find a way to cut three million dollars from the budget. As teachers, we were asked to send our ideas to the school board of where to cut this money. For the first time in my life, I was speechless. What more can possibly be cut? My classroom is always cold. I wear layers to school all fall and winter because the temperature in my workspace is freezing. Hell, a couple times this year I’ve worn mittens in my class. I don’t think we can cut heating costs. I buy all the paper, pencils, dry erase markers, chalk, notebooks, markers, crayons, snacks, stickers, etc… myself. I can’t suggest cutting the instructional supply budget. Seriously…have you been in a classroom lately?! The fifth grade classes in my school have 34 kids in each of them. Does anyone realize how crazy that is for ONE adult to handle? 34 kids!! And of those kids, there are: a couple with serious mental illnesses, several who are struggling to read, a couple with autism, two that don’t really speak or understand English, and more who are tired, hungry, and not interested in school. If I happen to stop in a regular ed class and a teacher asks me to stay with the kids so that she can use the restroom, I panic. Our kindergarten classes have 22 kids in them. Again, can you imagine being left alone with that many five and six year olds—and on top of being left with them, can you imagine trying to teach them to read, write, calculate, and get along with each other?! So as teachers, WE PRAY that the class sizes don’t get any bigger. Heck, we don't even want them to stay the same. We'd like them smaller please. As a special ed teacher, I can’t even imagine having more kids to case manage in seven different grades. I don’t know how we’ll possibly provide adequate service to kids that need a lot of special attention when our paraprofessional staff gets cut again.

Like other teachers, I wonder when education will not have to be about “getting by.” It’s a scary time.

DIXIE TIDBIT:
“Do you think that Dixie senses the physiological changes due to hypos, or the behavioral changes? After all, I think that each of us has our own "unique" behaviors when low, but the biochemistry would be the same.”
I don’t know if we’ll ever know how Dixie (or other dogs like her) senses hypoglycemia. She has known even if we’re in different rooms. That makes it seem like it isn’t her sensing behavioral changes. I don’t think that we’ll ever really understand the sensory perception that canines possess. I would assume that some of how Dixie knows is scent, because I know of other people who have trained dogs for diabetes alerting and have used scent training techniques. The dog trainers that I worked with said that a big part of it is the bond that humans have to their dog. It’s a deep connection that helps the dog know. What I do know is that knowing what is happening inside me is Dixie’s gift and her talent.

The photo is of Dixie pushing the mounted life alert switch in my house. (I have it so that if I am unresponsive, Dixie has a way to alert someone. She can push the button and if I don't respond, life alert will send help.) She's not had to use it (knock on wood), but we practice so that if we need it, she'll remember how to do it.

Decorated Boxes and Valentine candy

2007-02-14T12:51:00.000-06:00

I got my lab work back from my endocrinology appointment. I am disappointed. I was hoping for an A1c less than 6, or at 6.0. No such number came back on the slip. Dam. I was really thinking I could have pulled it off. After reading other blogs where folks are reporting A1cs in the 5s, I am feeling even more inadequate. I need to write the number here so that I can start moving on. It was 6.4. I know, it's o.k. My endo wrote “excellent” on the lab slip that was mailed to my house, but I know that she only wrote that because she doesn’t want to see my A1c under 6, because of my hypoglycemia unawareness, and her worry of the frequent lows I would have to get a number like that. Can you tell that I’m obsessing about this?!

My averages for the last several weeks have been around 125. I guess the times that I’m not testing, (another reason why some sort of CBGM might be handy) I must be higher. I’ve also been struggling with figuring out my basal rates overnight. I usually wake up with a blood sugar of around 70. The last week or so I’ve been waking up at 135ish. I’m always a little nervous about turning up my basal rates overnight, but I think I have to do it. I hate waking up over 100. It isn’t a pleasant feeling way to start the day. It would probably help if I changed my pump sites more frequently too, but I can’t go there…

I talked to my endo about getting a CBGM. She wasn’t too thrilled about the idea. She is concerned about having another site to damage tissue. She also thinks that because I have Dixie, I have a system in place to alert me when I am low.

On a happy note...I love Valentine’s Day in elementary school. The kids are so excited to pass out their Valentine cards, putting each one carefully in a decorated box. There's almost as much candy around today as on Halloween. I don't really like candy. It's not a vice for me. Dixie has made quite the haul! She has more than I do. To top it, she got a new squeaky toy from one of the first grade teachers. It’s great. It looks like a green shark, with a rope going through one side and out the other. It’s a combination of her favorites—rope and a squeaker.

HAPPY V.D.!!

DIXIE TIDBIT:

Has Dixie ever alerted another diabetic due to low blood sugar?
Yes. I actually work with another Type 1. Dixie will alert her if she’s low. Sometimes we have to quiz each other…is she pawing because I’m low, or you’re low?!
One time I had a work crew doing some landscaping in my backyard. I was standing on the deck talking to a woman who was planting sod. Dixie kept pawing at her. After watching her, I asked the woman if she had diabetes. She said “..yes, as a matter of fact, I do.” She had apparently skipped breakfast that morning and was feeling low. I went inside and got her a juice box so that Dixie would leave her alone.

The photo above is of Ella, my rat terrier. She is on the teeter-totter at agility class!

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

2007-02-06T21:26:00.000-06:00

I made it through my appointment with my endocrinologist. All went well. (last week’s blood sugar average was 119!) The only snag was that it took two pokes to get blood drawn. Yuck, that creeps me out. That is a great time to have a big, black dog. I focused my nervous energy on petting Dixie, and she helped calm me.

The weather in MN is brutally cold right now. I was hoping that school would be cancelled Monday or Tuesday, but no luck. A friend of mine lives in Michigan, and she has had school cancelled the last two days because of the cold. The weather was colder here. Go figure.

It’s a hard time of year. Cold, dark, short days. I feel constantly exhausted, and overwhelmed most of the time. The end of the quarter was two weeks ago, and with that means quarterly progress reports for all of the kids that I work with. That’s basically a story about the progress that each kid has made for the last couple of months. It’s overwhelming to do them, but feels so great to get them done and out to parents. School is very busy right now too, with many assessments to do and kids to deal with that don’t have recess because of the cold weather. Thank goodness that there are only a couple of more weeks until spring break.

Winter gets long, doesn't it?

*5th grade students in my writing class answered this question today. "Would you eat a bowl of live crickets for $50,000?" One boy wrote "...yes, but the bowel shood be rely small!" (the bowl should be really small :-)

DIXIE TIDBIT:

Last school year, one of my students was in my classroom with me. Dixie kept alerting me and alerting me. I kept testing, each time being in the zone. After several minutes, the student fell to the floor and had the first seizure that he has ever had. Dixie lay on the floor next to him, with her face next to his. When he “woke” up, I walked him to the nurse to rest. Dixie hopped up on the cot, on top of the student, and refused to leave until his mom arrived. Then she hopped off on her own. This particular student LOVES Dixie and was thrilled that she sat on him. I was lucky enough to have my digital camera with me and got a great picture of the two of them. Dixie really is “the dog of all dogs.” What an amazing soul she has become.

The Windy City

2007-01-31T08:23:00.000-06:00

Dixie and I went to Chicago for the weekend. My older sister lives there. Dixie was an Urban Dog. She rode in elevators, walked the city streets, and spent the weekend on a leash whenever she was outside. (not her favorite by the way) My sister has a min-pin named Max. Dixie LOVES to play with him. It is so funny to watch, because they are such different sizes. We spent a bunch of time watching those two run after each other and play. All was well diabetes-wise. The only real issue was that I was down to my last bottle of test strips, and wasn’t expecting any from the mail order place until mid week. I came back from Chicago with two strips. The strips were in the door when I arrived home. Whew!

I have an appointment with my endocrinologist on Friday. Those appointments make me crazy. I’d like to be able to go in with confidence, and not worry the entire week. I worry that they will tell me that I have suddenly have kidney failure, am going blind, etc. I know that those worries are totally unsubstantiated, but I have them anyway. I really like my endo (at the International Diabetes Center), but I don’t find appointments that useful, except for getting lab work done. (A1c, micro albumin, liver check, etc.) Speaking of lab stuff, I am a big chicken when it comes to blood draws. You’d think that with all of the poking that I do everyday, I would be used to that kind of thing. I’m not. I’m the world’s biggest chicken.

DIXIE TIDBIT:
MN Nice asked about the public access test that I mentioned in my last entry. It is one of the standards that dogs must pass in order to be in public places, and to be called a certified service dog. Dixie does know the difference between home and public behavior, and acts accordingly. She will be silly at home, but never out in public. (except maybe at school when she plays with the kids) When we’re out, people will ask why they can’t pet her. It’s really about her ability to remember her public behavior versus home behavior. If people started just coming up and petting her, she would seek out affection from people. Although some people wouldn’t mind, many would if a big, black dog stuck her head in their hand.

The other question was “does she go with you when you drive.” The answer is yes. She rides in the car to go to work every day, rides to wherever I happen to travel to. She likes the car. She generally hops in after a day at school and crashes immediately.

Keep asking questions! I'm happy to share about Dixie!

No Delivery

2007-01-22T20:08:00.000-06:00

So my diabetes was coasting along. That’s almost a warning sometimes.

Friday night I changed my pump site. Yeah, yeah, I know. “You should change your site in the morning or afternoon so that you can monitor yourself all day.” I don’t. It’s just a better time for me. Maybe it’s years of scar tissue. Or maybe it’s because I don’t change as often as I should. But when I inject a new pump site…it seems to take a while to kick in and start working. During the day, it’s hard to test and stay carb free that long. I end up doing CCBs. (crazy correction boluses) and then dropping big time a couple hours later. So I have learned that I do best changing it at night. I might creep up a little the first hour or so, but in the morning after I’m back in the good range. It’s just one of the mysteries of my diabetes. Anyway, I changed my pump site on Friday night. Went to bed about an hour later. At 1am, my Cozmo is buzzing like crazy. I wake up and fish it out of the pump belt. It says no delivery-blockage detected. (or something like that. I was so tired that I don’t really remember, and I’ve never even seen that alert before.) I stumble to my supplies, get a new quick set, and find a different spot. Can I just mention that AGAIN, I am frustrated with the stupid quick serter and it’s unpredictable behavior? I have switched back and am using my old one…the new ones just suck and I can’t use them. I’ve mentioned before that the THREE new ones that I ordered from stupid minimed don’t have enough room for the quick set to nest in it, so it falls out when tipped. My old one has developed a hesitation after pushing the button, but at least it stays nested. Of course my blood sugar clocked in at 288. I gave a serious CBB. Next morning woke up to Dixie’s barking and hitting, and a number of 38. She doesn’t usually wait for the number to get that low, but come on, she gets tired just like we do. Especially after a week of work. Dam diabetes.

Last week’s average was 95. I should be happy about that. But it meant a lot of lows mixed with some average numbers. It’s a better place to be than up high, but exhausting sometimes.

DIXIE TIDBIT: (I’ve gotten some feedback that people want to know more about Dixie. I’m going to try and include and bit about her each time.)

So people ask “do you bring her with you everywhere?” The answer is yes and no. She comes to work with me every day. I try to be apart from her sometime during each weekend. That means that I might go to the grocery store or out to lunch without her. It’s good for her to develop some independence. The trainers that worked with me said that being apart is good practice in case something happens and we HAVE to be apart. (If someone I love was in an accident, if my other dog had a vet emergency, etc.) If we were never apart, Dixie wouldn’t know what to do. So we are apart a little. It’s hard to leave her! She really wants to be with me all of the time. I really think that she wants to know that I’m o.k. Because Dixie has passed the public access test, she is able to go to any public place. This includes malls, stores, movie theaters, church, clinics, schools, etc. It doesn’t mean that people have to “let” me bring Dixie into their homes. Dixie wears her vest whenever she is in public (but never at home), so that people know she’s a working dog and remember not to pet her. It’s too distracting for her to be petted like crazy out in public. She has an ID badge in her vest that shows people that she has passed the public access test. I’ve never actually been asked to show it, but it’s in there, along with GU for me.

Chilly

2007-01-15T19:37:00.000-06:00

I LOVE using my new excel logbook, courtesy of Kevin at parenthetic-diabetic. It’s awesome. I have just been keeping it open on my computer, and when I test (or slightly there after) I put my number in its spot. Last week’s average was 121, and the weekend average was 100. It’s been a long time since I had an average. I use 4 different meters, so I have always approximated the averages. I love seeing the graph, and being able to follow trends. I use a Mac, and have felt limited with the programs that I could effectively use. So Kevin… THANKS for sharing!

It is freezing cold here in the Twin Cities. The temperature right now is 12 degrees, and the wind-chill is way below zero. We also finally got snow last night. Dixie is in seventh heaven. She loves to go outside and run around. She rolls in the snow like she’s scratching her back. She puts her nose in the snow like she is hoovering, and comes out looking like she has a milk mustache. It’s very cute.

Dixie and I had our first Agility class last night. I decided that it would be a fun way to keep up on her obedience work. It was fun, and she seemed to love it. I took her vest off, and she ran around with the other dogs just like a puppy. I might be biased, but I think that she was the best one in the class. ☺

I didn’t have kids at school today. We had a workshop day with many different speakers. It’s kind of a hard kind of day to have a big, black dog. I’m carrying around my backpack with my laptop and school supplies, but also with rawhides, blanket, and water bowl for Dixie. I felt like I was juggling whenever I went from one room to the other. We didn’t have many breaks…so I had to just sneak out a couple times to let Dixie outside. She is really well behaved, but needs a break just like the humans do. (have I mentioned that she LOVES the snow?!) About 1:45, she did her thing. She got up from the floor, sat on her haunches and hit me with her paw. I know the signal well. I got out my tester and checked. Blood sugar was 73. Not super low, but I still had a little insulin left on board from lunch. I had an airhead candy, turned my basal down for a 1/2 hour, and Dixie went back to her spot to lie down. Someone sitting behind me leaned in to ask if Dixie had just alerted me. I said yes. She said it was really cool to be able to watch that. We’re glad to be able to teach.

(I wanted to put a photo from agility class last night, but none of them really turned out. So I've attached a photo from Halloween because it's so darn cute. Dixie went as a skunk)

Full time employment

2007-01-08T20:09:00.000-06:00

Dixie had a busy day yesterday. I didn’t have a new pump site, I wasn’t in a marathon, but man, were my blood sugars low. She had to alert like crazy.

It started in the morning with a wake up visit from Dixie. She woke me up earlier than I would have liked. I tested and was 67. I grabbed some powerade and went back to sleep. Got up about a half hour later and was a cool 105. I had a small breakfast and bolused for 25 carbs. By lunch I was down to 71. Had some soup and a salad with a roll. I didn’t measure the roll, but guessed that it was 35 carbs. That plus the few carbs for the roll and soup brought the total bolus to 45. Seemed right. Guess it was an over calculation because by 4:00, I was down to 62. Had some more powerade. I was getting ready for dinner around 7:00 when I felt really horrible. I actually sat down on the kitchen floor because I thought I was going to pass out. I tested and was 55. Not really low enough to feel as horrible as I did. With those many successive lows, I think that I just wore my body out. Of course before bed I tested and was up to 189. Gave a little correction for that number and clocked in this morning at 77. Better way to start the day. Dam diabetes!

I really wanted to participate in the OC Challenge. I just couldn’t imagine taking pictures of all four meters that I use each day. One meter stays at work, one upstairs, one downstairs, and one in my bedroom. I could never organize it all. My last A1c was 6.3, and I really would like to have one in the 5s. I’d also like to not have tons of lows. I’m working on it. Maybe next year. I think that it’s a great idea and a great support network to share.

Hello 2007

2007-01-02T19:22:00.000-06:00

Happy New Year. It’s 2007.

I have had a great week, diabetes wise. Just last night I was commenting how my highest blood sugar the last five days was 128! I feel a real sense of accomplishment. I made it through the holidays without feeling like I was chasing carbs with insulin. That’s what usually happens.

Moving into a new year, I’m thankful for: good friends, family, technology (that makes living with diabetes a whole lot easier), good health, Dixie, and a job that I like.

1 . JOB- A student with autism that I work with at school was so excited telling me about his Christmas. We had a chance to work alone, since the other student in our reading group was gone today. After a long discussion about our presents, we decided to skip our reading “lesson” and “just” read from Calvin and Hobbes books. He loves reading aloud and has such great expression. When it was time to leave, he left the room and then shortly reappeared. He smiled and said “It was fun today. Just you and me. See ya.” I’m fortunate to be able to connect with kids that way.

2. TECHNOLOGY- I just signed up for the Deltec Cozmo update for my pump. Apparently they will set me up with a new pump and new software! I can’t wait to get the new pump with new features. I love having the CozMonitor to attach to my pump. I'm hopeful about the development of continuous monitoring.

3. FAMILY- my sister helped me pay for Dixie. My mom gave me a new nutritional scale. My father wears his dam diabetes shirt with pride. I am lucky to have all kinds of family to support and love me.

4. FRIENDS- I have been blessed with people who support all sides of me. People who know what dam diabetes means.

5. DIXIE- I’ve written about Dixie. She has changed the quality of my life. She gives me confidence to be in control of my diabetes. I almost lost her this summer. Read the story of Dixie’s adventure here. (see Day 6 of the story) I got her back and am blessed to have her in my life.

6. GOOD HEALTH - Amen for that. Amen for one, and only one, complication. (hypoglycemia unawareness)

Good-bye to 2006. Hello 2007.

Post Christmas

2006-12-27T11:28:00.000-06:00

It was quite an event. Lots of family time, lots of driving, but lots of fun too.

I got some great diabetes gifts. (though when I open them I see a little look of pain in my mom's eyes, wishing that I didn't have to open things like that)

1. I got a new Salter nutritional scale and can't WAIT to try using it. I read about it on someone else's blog, and it sounded like the perfect addition to my diabetes stash. I haven't tried it out yet, and am kinda wondering where I should keep it in the kitchen, and where the "code manual" will be safe. Any suggestions?

2. I got my first set of groovy patches! O.k., o.k, they are silly, but I'm excited about them. Anything that adds a twist to the daily grind with diabetes is exciting. I changed my site last night and used one for the first time. I feel like I'm wearing new shoes or something like that. I keep lifting my shirt to look at my belly.

3. I got a bunch of banana flavored GU. I like using that for lows--I only like the banana flavor ones. Actually that's not true. I like the berry flavor, but it has caffeine in it and I don't really like having caffeine in the middle of the night. They are also nice to put in Dixie's vest because they are small and squishy, so when she is lying on her side, they don't get destroyed and they're probably comfortable too. ;-)

I'm off from work this week. Phew! I have time to try all the cool new presents and unpack everything.

Hope that everyone had a great holiday.

...Please, can I?!

2006-12-20T20:40:00.000-06:00

I don’t like to change my pump site. It doesn’t matter that I’ve been doing it for many years. I still hate it. I hate the time it takes and I hate the pain it causes. I use quick sets, and a quick serter. My old quick serter seemed to be loosing it’s bling, so I ordered two new ones. They’re driving me crazy. The quick set doesn’t seem to “nest” in the serter, the way that it did in the old one, causing the sets to fall out when I tilt the serter toward my stomach.

I must have really hearty tissue. I have always been able to get away with leaving sets in for up to 6 or 7 days. My friends with diabetes have always gasped at this fact. “Doesn’t it hurt?” Nope. I leave it in until it feels irritated or until my fasting blood sugar in the morning starts creeping up. I know, I know, I’m going to diabetes hell. Believe me, that’s not the only reason I have a special suite ready and waiting. (darn holiday snacks!)

But for the last couple weeks, I haven’t been having great luck with pump sites or blood sugars. So I’ve been changing the set every three days. And by golly… it really does give more consistent blood sugars.

As I was standing outside with Dixie today, watching her romp through the grass and roll on her back, I was a little disappointed. Knowing that I really should change those darn sites more frequently was like I had gotten the “real” answer from one parent, and desperately wanted to find the other parent for a “better” answer.

O.k, O.k., I know… stick with the first answer. Don’t go looking for the answer you want. Stick with the one that is right.

Habits

2006-12-19T08:31:00.001-06:00

Does anyone wipe their infusion spot with alcohol after every disconnection?
I wonder if it helps prevent infections? Or if it even matters at all. Is it worth the cost of the swabs?

I emptied all of the garbage baskets in the house yesterday. I can’t believe the amount of alcohol swab wrappers that were in the trash.

I do it. Religiously, every time. It’s a habit. In the many years of pumping, I’ve had one infection that needed antibiotics. Sure, I put Neosporin on every site when I remove them. So maybe that’s the reason I’ve been infection free.

I can’t really say that I use sterile procedures when inserting a new set. I wipe with alcohol (there’s another swab wrapper) and usually wash my hands before injecting it. When changing just the cartridge of insulin, I clamp off the tubing and hold it with my teeth momentarily, using both hands to push the pump buttons and insert the new insulin. Sterile? I don’t think so. (although I do hold my breath when I’m holding with my teeth☺)

Ah, my diabetes habits…

Back on the charts

2006-12-14T20:48:00.000-06:00

Well…many site changes later and very frequent testing have brought my blood sugars back on the graph. Amen.

Times of wacky, unexplained high blood sugars kinda freak me out. I worry that my 12 years of pump use have completely fried my tissue. Specifically, the tissues of my abdomen. I worry that if I’m having scar tissue problems now, what will things be like with the next 12 years of pumping.

Taking a “pump vacation” isn’t really an option for me. Long acting insulin always caused more allergy problems, and so I’d have to just take frequent shots of regular or lispro. That doesn’t really feel like a “vacation,” just like setting up a tent in the backyard.

So I stand in front of the mirror, looking at my belly and hoping to see a viable place to put the catheter into, but the choices are pretty limited. I know that other people use their legs, etc.. for sites, but I just can’t do it. Or, at least, not yet. But I said the same thing about using my stomach in the past. Before I started pumping, I had not once given an injection in my stomach. Hell, the only way I would agree to a pump was to get Emla cream from my endo and numb my skin before inserting the needle. (back when I got the pump, it was assumed it would only be put in the abdomen)

I feel like I’m at a crossroad. I need to figure out other options and give my stomach a break.

For now, I’m happy that I am back in a good range and able to coast a little.

2006-12-11T17:48:00.000-06:00

It’s comforting to read other blogs and see that other folks are dealing with high blood sugars right now. I have tested so many times in the last 10 days that my fingers are threatening to go on strike.

I usually change my set every five(ish) days. (Shhhh! Don’t tell) This last week, I changed it three times. It wasn’t that the sites were a complete bust…just seemed to not have the usual hmpff to them. Dixie has been alerting like crazy. Poor thing, she’s just not used to dealing with me with high blood sugars. I give correction after correction, but it has been taking much more insulin and much more time to bring them down the last week. Dixie doesn’t like the “waiting game.” She’s rather play fetch with her tennis ball. ☺ And quite honestly, so would I. The “wait for high blood sugars to come down” game is a sucky one. I have to be strict with myself to not test obsessively every 10 minutes and give correction insulin. Thank goodness for the “insulin on board” feature on my pump that won’t allow me to just give extra insulin willy-nilly. Otherwise at times like those, I fear that I would. Let me be honest. At times like that with my old Disetronic hTron, I used to give insulin like crazy and then bottom out a couple hours later. Is it stress? Is it a bad batch of infusion sets? Is it the insulin allergy flaring its ugly head and causing this reaction? I don’t know.

I’m frustrated. I’m confused. Dam diabetes. (pathetic sigh…)

Learning

2006-12-05T20:52:00.000-06:00

It’s fun to introduce Dixie to new people. Especially people who know something about diabetes. It’s even more fun when Dixie alerts me when I’m low and others get to watch.

Doctors have a hard time believing that a dog can know when blood sugars are not in the optimal range. Sure, the doctors that I have contact with smile nicely and appear supportive. People think that if I just tested more, I wouldn’t need a silly dog. In fact, before I got Dixie, several people asked me if I had ever tested my blood sugar before. If only it was that easy.

Hypoglycemia unawareness is a challenging problem. I used to get autonomic symptoms (sweaty, shaking, etc.) when my blood sugar dropped under 80. (except at night when I haven’t ever awoke to symptoms.) Now I’m lucky to have symptoms when I’m 50. Most likely I don’t have symptoms until 40. Then I’m not smart enough to make good choices, and I drop even lower. It’s not pretty.

I work to keep my blood sugars in a very tight range. The side effect of this is more frequent lows. What I have found with Dixie, as many people have probably found with continuous blood glucose monitors (only my monitor is furry, cute, snuggles and can wake me up when I’m low or push the Life Alert button to activate help), is that she knows when I have too much insulin on board. She knows when I am going to drop too low. Like yesterday I finished a lunch and gave a bolus for 35 carbs. An hour later, Dixie started alerting. She was pawing and pawing at me, then jumping on the table when I was working with kids and pawing the kids. (she has learned which kids are reliable and safe to approach) I tested. Blood sugar was 134. I had some insulin on board from lunch. I had another 15 carbs of Gatorade and tested a half hour later. Blood sugar = 86. If I had not had the 15 grams of carb, I would have gotten low. This way I added a little carb, went on with my teaching, and never had to deal with confusion and low symptoms. I would have never tested to find out that I was 134. In training, I used to say “wrong” to Dixie for alerting when I was 134. Then over time I learned. She knows.

I don’t recommend a service dog for everyone with diabetes. It’s not magic, nor is it perfect. You have to love dogs. Check. You have to be able to develop a strong bond with the dog. Check. It takes work to train. Check. And in the middle of a spelling lesson, sometimes they have to go outside to go to the bathroom. (or chase rabbits ;-) For the right person, like me, it can be the best.

Dixie

2006-12-03T20:12:00.000-06:00

I’ve always had a hard time sensing low blood sugars. After a serious reaction that required glucagon, my endocrinologist told my mom that I had a “defective adrenaline system.” As a child I had many reactions that involved my parents sitting on me trying to get me to eat something, glucagon, and/or visits from the paramedics. As an adult, I have always been vigilant about testing often, to prevent these lows. I would get up in the middle of the night to test. Many years ago, my beagle/terrier mix dog had started waking me up in the middle of the night if I was low. She would lick in my ear and bark until I got up. She died 4 years ago, and I realized how important she was to my diabetes management. That’s when I started exploring the possibility of getting a dog that would be trained to alert me when I was low. Specifically at night when I was sleeping.

A friend led me to Great Plains Assistance Dog Foundation in Jud, North Dakota. I filled out an application and started thinking about financing. The cost of a service dog from Great Plains was $15,000. I filled out financial assistance forms. Then, my colleague at school told me that she wanted to spearhead a school district fundraiser for me to get a dog. She arranged everything. I went to my dad’s Lion’s Club meeting and they agreed to give me some money. I finally got a call from Great Plains that they had a dog for me, and I scheduled training for August of 2005. My school district raised over $8,000 dollars. My sister made a donation. I had all the money that I needed.

I went to Jud for three weeks. The first day I worked with a couple of different dogs. The last one I worked with was Dixie. She was much smaller than the other labs there. They thought she was a lab/chow-chow cross, because she had a black tongue. I knew that she was going to be the one for me. The training staff told me that she was my primary candidate. The first day I sat and watched a video. Dixie sat by my feet. A couple minutes into watching it, Dixie sat up and started hitting me with her paw. The training staff had told me to test anytime she did anything “different.” I tested and was 62. My first time being really excited to be low. That was the beginning.

Dixie was only about a year and a half years old when she came home with me. Her skills continue to refine over time. When I’m low or dropping, Dixie will sit and hit me with her front paws. If I don’t respond to that, she will hit harder. If I still don’t respond, she will do other things. If I’m at school, she will jump on a table in my classroom. If I’m at a restaurant, she will break her “down- stay” and stand up and stare at me. I am not high very often. But this past weekend, we were out shopping and she kept staring at me, standing and breaking the commands that I gave her. I finally tested and was 320. My pump site was not working anymore. People ask if she has different signals for low or high. No, she doesn’t. I haven’t focused on that in her training because high doesn’t happen often and I can feel that. It’s the lows that I don’t get symptoms for anymore.

It’s not always easy or convenient to have a big, black dog around. But she has saved me over and over again, and the inconvenience doesn’t seem to matter. Now that we’ve been together for a year and a half, I can’t imagine not having her to help.

Dixie is my miracle. I am blessed.

Flu shot

2006-12-02T11:03:00.000-06:00

I’m a wimp.

A couple weeks ago at work, there was an email with information about flu shots. If my school had enough people sign up, a nurse would come to school and give the injections there. Just show up with your insurance card, fill out a form, and BAM.. A flu shot was yours for the taking. I didn’t sign up. I hate shots. I know, I know, I have had diabetes for the last 31 years. I have taken thousands of injections and have been inserting pump sets for the last 12 years. But I hate, even more than that… I abhor shots. Especially when I don’t give them myself. I have had one flu shot in my life. I think I was about 13 years old when I got it. I’m sure that the doctor bullied me into getting it, and I’m sure that my mom was along and insisted that I get it. I remember that it hurt, so I didn’t sign up. Then another email came. My school was a couple people short in the sign up. Other teachers were asking me if I signed up. They told me that I “…really should get one because, you know, you have diabetes.” So I signed up, fully intending to back out at the last minute.

At the end of the school day today, I quickly packed my stuff up, grabbed Dixie’s leash, and put my jacket on. The door opened. The school nurse who works in my building came in. She said that she knew I was anxious about the shot (because she had overheard me complaining in the teacher’s lounge one day) and came to school just to make sure that I was o.k. Shoot. Now I couldn’t leave. This nice woman drove all the way to this school that she only works at on Tuesdays, just to check on me. I got my insurance card. She told me that she would go and get the release form, and I could just fill it out in my class. I filled it out. She walked with me to hand the form to the other nurse. They told me to sit in the chair with my back to the nurse. No way! I said that I needed to see the shot happen, and see the needle. I was feeling faint. I was talking to myself. “Get a grip Molly! It’s just a shot.” I rolled up my sleeve. I was feeling lightheaded. I started sweating. I held hands with my nurse and another teacher. The woman gave the injection in my arm. It didn’t hurt that much. But I cried anyway. Cried from fear, from apprehension, and from the loss of control that I felt. Dixie put her head on my lap and looked at me with her brown eyes. I stroked her head and took a deep breath. I walked back to my class and got my things to go home.

It’s over. I hope that I don’t get the flu. ☺

Foot and Toe

2006-11-29T19:53:00.000-06:00

My left foot has been hurting since I was in the Boundary Waters on a week long canoe trip in August. I’ve been having pain ever since. I have a friend who’s a family practice doctor. I went to see her and she ordered some x-rays of my foot. No broken bones. I started taking anti inflammatories and resting it as much as I could. About two weeks ago I took my shoes off after work and realized that my left big toe was numb.

I had a meltdown. 31 years of diabetes and I finally had neuropathy. Circling thoughts went through my mind. Would I need to get special “diabetes shoes?” Would I have to order special socks and avoid the hot tub in my backyard? What would this mean for my yearly Boundary Waters canoe trip? Would I take my boots off after a long day of canoeing and portaging to find major skin breakdown because a rock had been rubbing on my toe where I couldn’t feel it? Ok. Get a grip Molly. I made an appointment with a podiatrist. The appointment was this morning.

The nurse brought me into the exam room and asked me to take off my shoes and socks. Dixie got comfortable on the floor by the exam table. The nurse went through the list of questions. Am I still taking insulin? Do I still use glucagon as needed? Am I still allergic to insulin?
“Wow, you’re allergic to insulin! I’ve never heard of that before? So what do you take instead? Oh, you take insulin with dexamethasone. Wow.”
(it’s the same line that I get every time I go to see any doctor.) She left and Dixie and I waited for the doctor. My palms were sweating. I was really nervous.

The doctor came into the room. He shook my hand, and had a really firm handshake. I hoped that he would be gentle when he touched my feet. I told him about my foot pain and numb toe. He wrote this on my chart, and I squeezed my fingers. Finally he examined my foot. After a couple minutes he said, “It’s not neuropathy. You have a pinched nerve and strained ligaments.” It’s crazy but I was happy. I had a foot injury, but was smiling and content. It wasn’t neuropathy. It was something else. Something that regular people have. Phew. He taped my foot and told me to keep it dry for the next week. We’ll see if that improves the pain. If it does, some orthotics are probable in line. If not, maybe a dreaded cortisone shot in my foot.

I limped out with Dixie. She was bouncy and I was relieved.

It wasn't the dam diabetes.

Insulin+allergy

2006-11-28T19:57:00.000-06:00

Insulin allergy. Can you even believe those two words can go together?

I was a sophomore in college. I woke up one morning and gave my first shot of the day. A little while later I realized that my lips were swelling up. Not my tongue or throat, just my lips. They were huge. I needed to get to class. I was having an exam that day. My roommate told me that it wasn’t that bad. She told me that I should wear a bandana like a cowboy to cover them. I looked like an absolute dork, but I did wear it. It kept happening. Swollen lips, hives, itchy. I went to see an allergist who tested me for every possible allergen. I had to confess to him that I had recently taken a liking to cherry lifesavers. (oh! Going to diabetes hell) He did a scratch test for that too. Negative for all. As a last ditch effort, I mentioned that the swollen lips seemed to happen right after I gave an injection. He scratch tested that, and surprise, that reacted. I officially was allergic to the drug that was keeping me alive.

My endocrinologist tried to desensitize me to insulin. We never were able to move from even the most minute doses of insulin. (something crazy like .005 units of insulin) My endo started lacing my insulin with dexamethasone, an injectible steroid. This cleared up the allergy symptoms that I was having. Since then, we have tried eliminating or reducing the steroid, but without luck. I use a Deltec pump. I’ve been pumping for the last 12 years. I fill the cartridges with a combination of insulin and dexamethasone. It’s a crazy cocktail, but one that keeps me alive, so I’m happy.

I’ve never known anyone else that has an allergy. I wonder if there is anyone else taking this cocktail?!

Dam diabetes.

Post Thanksgiving

2006-11-27T17:40:00.000-06:00

I made it through the whole Thanksgiving thing. Driving to relatives (I hate toll roads), sleeping on a couch, and spending a lot of time thinking about carbs.

I hate that. I hate seeing a plateful of food and trying to calculate the carbs. It's a lot of work. It can be so easy when I eat a prepackaged meal that has the carbs listed on it. Eat the meal, bolus for the carbs. When it's a mix of foods that I didn't make, sometimes I have no clue. I try to think about all the "close" carbs I know, and guess. But come on...I start eating, and then don't finish all that I took. Or maybe I take another scoop of stuffing and then lose count. Was it 55 grams or 45? I wish that it didn't have to be so hard!

I was six years old when I was diagnosed, so I don't remember any holiday, etc. without diabetes. I guess it might have been easier when I was little. My mom had to do the guessing. Measure out food and put it on my plate, and then hope that I ate it all. And that was back in the day without food labelling and carb counting. Just meals with 3 bread exchanges, 3 meat exchanges, 1 fruit, 0-1 vegetable, 1 milk, and 1 fat. Who were they kidding?! 1 fat! Who ever measured the margerine or salad dressing? I don't think my mom ever did.

Dam diabetes.

The Start

2006-11-22T18:33:00.000-06:00

Wow. First Blog. Sound the bell.

I was diagnosed with diabetes in 1975, a month after my sixth birthday. I went to my pediatrician's office for my "back to school" physical. The doctor did a random whiz quiz and came and told my mom that he thought that I might have diabetes. It was a tiny clinic and didn't have a lab. We were sent over to Minneapolis Children's Hospital for a blood draw. My mom said that if I was a good girl, we could stop at the local drug store for a chocolate ice cream cone. They did the draw. My mom was told that I did have type 1 diabetes. I was immediately admitted to the hospital for a 5 day stay. I didn't actually start taking insulin for about a month. I was probably still honeymooning. I never got the chocolate ice cream cone.

I spent about 15 years taking two shots a day. I didn't start blood testing until I was about 12 years old. My mom had signed me up for a research study. As part of the study, I was given an autolet and a bottle of Chemstrips. I was asked to test my blood sugar at regular intervals. When the study was over, I went to turn the equipment in, and my ped. endocrinologist told me that I would need to continue blood testing for the rest of my life. I remember thinking that she must be joking!

I made it through high school and college. I remember that my highest A1c was 9.9. During college, I developed a horrible allergy. To insulin. My endo tried doing desensitization several different times. It never worked. I have been on a dexamethasone cocktail since then.

Now, I'm a special education teacher. I work with elementary kids with disabilities. Last year, I got a service dog named Dixie. She is an amazing dog who alerts me when my blood sugar is low, or dropping. I got her because of my hypoglycemia unawareness. She is only two years old, but is such a gifted dog with amazing talents.

That's me, or a start to me.